I'll try not to make this too angsty. There are some sexual themes and tragic death, be forewarned. It goes without saying that I don't own the characters. Please review, its very helpful!

"Carly?" I saw her hand on my door, but she wasn't coming in. She doesn't usually come to my house and I'm usually not at my house so it was weird. She wasn't talking which is weirder. I sat up and put my T.V. Remote on the side tab.

"Carls, you can come in. Come watch Boogy Bear in Space." I pat the mattress. She stepped in without opening the door very much and silently shut it behind her. I heard the lock click behind her back.

"Carls?" I could hear her breathe heavily. I was beginning to figure out where this was going. It happened from time to time.

She rushed over to me and pushed me back onto my bed as she pinned my arms and climbed on top of me. She started to devour my mouth in a fury of kisses. I could hardly breathe between her attack on my face. I wiggled around under her until I was able to get her to stop for a minute.

"Elliot broke up with you?" She started to make out with me again and spoke between kisses.

"I broke up with him." I mumbled a muffled 'Oh' in response. This happened every so often. For a while now, when she was feeling bad, usually about a boy, she'd come over or lock us in her bedroom and then, well, this. Usually at the end of the excitement, I would hold onto her and we would both fall asleep and in the morning, everything would go back to normal.

This was strange though, she usually wasn't as aggressive as she was being. Her hands were flying under my clothes and I don't think that she breathed at all between the gasps that she took every few minutes. Somehow, she got my shirt off and still had my arms pinned.

And then I felt it. She laid her head on my shoulder while she was biting at my neck and I felt something wet between our skin. I bucked my hips and pushed my arms up until she lost her balance. I sat up and faced her, still sitting in my lap.

"You're crying." Her face was glistening all over with tears. Her chest was heaving harder and harder even though it should have been getting easier for her to breathe. I pulled her to me and rested her chin on my shoulder. I held onto her tight and tried to think of something not stupid to say.

"Elliot was a nub. He's not worth it, Carls." She started to sob into my neck and I cringed. I don't know if I'd ever seen her that upset in all the time that I knew her.

"I said something wrong. I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes at myself. Hearing how stupid I sounded was torture.

"Not Elliot." She sobbed, muffled by my hair. I took her shoulders and gently lifted her away from me just enough so that I could see her. I kissed her nose.

"What is it, kid?" I rubbed her shoulders and watched her start to shake. I held her up as she went limp and the shaking got worse. She was really scaring me. What she said though, shook me all the way up my spine.

"My dad's dead." She stopped moving and wasn't making any sounds. I stared at the top of her head with my mouth wide open as she stared down. I knew she wasn't joking but... it couln't be true.

"Oh, no." I heard myself say as I pulled her to me without thinking. She started sobbing again, but hardly made any noise now. It couldn't be. This couldn't happen to her. This was going to destroy her. I had no idea what to say or do, so we just stayed there, her huddled into me and me holding on tight.

Lucky for me, she fell asleep after about a half hour of intense sobbing. I couldn't say anything. What do you say to a girl when the only parent that she has left is gone? I put a blanket over her and went to get some juice and try to clear my head. I was dreading when she woke up. Of course, lucky me, that was a lot sooner than I hoped.

"I'm sorry." I almost threw my juice across the room when she startled me. I turned to see her standing in the doorway looking like she was melting in front of me. I got up and quickly put her in a chair and gave her my juice. She stared at the glass.

"You don't have any reason to be sorry, Cupcake." I tried to sound hopefully cheery without seeming like I was being insensitive. It sort of worked.

"I attacked you." Her voice was eerily distant.

"Oh, that? No worries." I sat down and tried to look calm. I took her hand from her lap and held it on the table.

"Carly, you know you can say anything you need to to me. We can talk about anything you want. Or, ya know, not." She didn't speak for a bit, so I stroked her hand and tried to reassure her.

"Can I..." She trailed off and sighed as she moved her chair closer to mine. "I just want..." She mumbled as she took my hands. Catching her hint, I got up with her and hugged her tight. I felt her body loosen up from being really tense and I felt her sigh.

"It wasn't even in battle or anything."

"What?"

"Something about an accidental discharge in the weapon storage place. It's like..." She took a deep breath and let go of me so that she could start pacing.

"It's like, I was prepared if he got killed in battle. It was always in the back of my mind. It wouldn't have been easy, but I don't think it would be this hard. I...I kinda knew what to expect and it's like, this isn't how it was supposed to be. Its just wrong! Its all wrong!" She spoke quickly and stumbled over her words. She swayed and motioned wildly with her arms as she paced. She was starting to sway a lot and I started to try to make her sit down again, but she was hard to get a hold of. She continued to ramble.

"And, its not like you can ever be ready for something like this. I mean, if you spend your whole life thinking about death then you have a really boring life, right? I don't want to think about it, I really don't. So I'm done! Yeah! There, I'm not gonna think about it any more. I'm gonna think about other things!" She choked on her words from time to time like she was trying very hard not to cry. She looked up suddenly and jumped towards me. She reached her arms around my neck and started trying to make out with me again. I tried to speak into her mouth, but I was blocked. I had to push her back, which I felt bad about, and hold her there by her shoulders.

"Carly, stop!"

"Why?"

"Cause this isn't the way to deal with this!" I pushed her firmly into a chair and held her as I looked down at her.

"Carly, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Carly. I'm sorry that your dad died. I'm sorry that you weren't ready for it. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I hated crying. Carly needed me and there I was being all weak and weepy.

"Sam..."

"I'm so sorry, Carly." I bent down and held onto her.

"Sam?" She asked from my shoulder.

"Yeh?"

"I...what do I do now?" She was so quiet. She was so unlike her normal self. I wasn't sure how I could help her or what I could say. I tried to think quick.

"Well..." I had to think of something.

"What...what about Spencer? How's he doing?"

"I...don't know. I kind of ran out right after I dropped the phone. I don't even know if he talked to Grandad or not. He probably doesn't know I'm here..." I saw the guilt was over her already worn face. I started to panic.

"Oh, hey, its okay. Here. Call him." I handed her my cell phone and waited while she dialed. She said hi to Freddie which was weird because she had called Spencer's cell. She kept getting cut off.

"Freddie, can I talk to Spencer? ...But I- I just want to make sure- I really don't want to come back there right now! ...I know...but..." She was starting to tremble so I took the phone from her and wrapped my other arm around her torso. She cuddled against me.

"Freddie, what the hell is going on?"

"Spencer's freaking out. I really think that Carly should be here. I'm not good at this stuff."

"Yeh well neither am I but here we are, Fred." I couldn't be sarcastic. I was scared, I admit it.

"Well, can you get her back here? I mean, come with her cause it seems like she's doing okay with you."

"I don't know if you can say okay, but I'll try."

"Alright. Thanks Sam."

"Yeh." We hung up and I put both my arms around Carly. I nestled into her hair.

"Carly, do you think we can go back to see Spencer?" I stroked her back hoping that she would stay calm.

"Don't want to." I kissed her forehead.

"I know, but Spencer is scaring Freddie. I think he needs his sister." She thrust away from me.

"What about what I need? I'm the kid here! He needs to grow up! I need someone to take care of me for once! Why am I always the one fixing everything? I just want to be a kid! I just wanna be normal!"

"You are normal, Carly." I tried to calm her.

"Normal kids don't have dead parents." She whispered breathlessly. I was so completely speechless by then that all I could do was hold her tighter. This was going to be a long few months...maybe years. I felt my tears start to fall silent and helplessly into Carly's hair as she cried into my neck.