Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist.
Summary: Crack!fic sequel to "Wishing Might Make It So", and it only makes sense if you read that one first. Similar rating, similar reasons, similarly implausible. Cho makes a mistake; someone makes a discovery. PetitJ had the idea; I fleshed it out.
A/N #1: Thanks to all the kind reviews and requests, I have posted the sequel. It's slightly different from the first one, but a similar thread runs through it. Hopefully, if you liked the first one... you'll like this one, too.
Be Careful What You Wish For
"So, any wicked ideas on how to spend your 3 weeks of forced vacation?" Patrick asked, and dropped Teresa a suggestive wink.
"Sounds like you do," Teresa shot back. "But you can forget all of them. I've got 3 cracked ribs, so don't even think about it."
"There's an easy remedy for that problem, darling," he replied with a smirk.
"Oh really, and what's that?"
"You get to stay on top."
Cho exhaled loudly. He was finally satisfied with the ending of "License to Thrill"; it had proven to be the most challenging of his tasteless little romantic tales so far. Why on Earth did he EVER decide to attempt to give it a real plot?
At any rate, it was done to his satisfaction at last. He moved the cursor to save his changes, and that's when his finger slipped.
Oh no.
He'd pressed a button that, instead of saying "Save"… said "Send".
Oh. No.
Cold dread trickled into his stomach as he checked to see where the document had been sent.
"Document sent to Lisbon, Teresa at 13:04:30".
Oh dear LORD. No!
Cho had been in the military. He'd been in countless dangerous situations since he'd joined the CBI. But nothing he'd been through up to this point had brought him the feeling of rising panic he was currently experiencing.
###
Lisbon was plodding thought yet another form lodging a complaint against Jane, when she saw an email come in from Cho. But when she clicked on it, there was no body text, just a document attachment. Figuring it was probably related to their most recently solved case, she opened it.
Teresa Sintra tossed her long dark hair in an expression of perfect exasperation. "Aren't you done examining the corpse YET, Sally?"
Patrick Sally reluctantly paused and gazed up at her from the ground. "Jealous that I'm paying attention to a woman other than you, my dear? No need; I'm guilty of a number of sins, but necrophilia isn't one of them."
Lisbon felt a hysterical giggle bubbling up in her throat, and quickly coughed to cover it. Was THIS what Cho had been typing so diligently away at this morning? The complaint form momentarily forgotten, she read further.
What followed was a ludicrous parody of one of their earliest cases as a team, after Jane but before Van Pelt. Names and details were altered, but still recognizable to her. What were really different were the behind-closed-doors actions of the principal players.
Her eyebrows just about touched her hairline when she reached the part where "their limbs were tangling together between the stiff sheets of the motel bed, just as their lives had become irretrievably intertwined." The combination of the following torrid sex scene coupled with the outrageous vocabulary was rather surprising. And hilarious.
When she had finished reading, she got up and stuck her head out of her office door.
"Cho?" she called. "Can I speak to you for a second?"
Considering the short distance from his desk to her office, the trip seemed to take Cho unusually long. When he finally got there, she could see he was nervous. –My poor second-in-command,- she thought. –He knows he sent it to me. He knows I read it. Should I just let it go?-
Her sense of mischief soon overwhelmed her sympathy for the guilty expression on his face, however. –Nope,- she decided. –I've just GOT to mess with him.-
"So, Cho, I got your email," she said flatly. "And I have to say I'm a little surprised." She struggled to keep a straight face as she watched Cho (stoic, deadpan, always keeps it together CHO) actually squirming in his seat in discomfort.
She then proceeded to give a completely serious and highly detailed critique of the entire story. She watched as his eyes got wide at comments such as "I have to say the third love interlude kind of felt tacked on. Also, I don't care what you've seen in the Kama Sutra; knees do NOT bend in that way."
Cho paled visibly in self-consciousness, and at that point Lisbon finally decided to have mercy.
"I'm going to have to tell you not to do any more… 'recreational' writing on the clock, Cho."
"I understand, boss. Believe me, it won't happen again," he stammered.
"Whatever personal hobbies you indulge in aren't any of my business; see that they're kept that way and don't send me any more of this kind of thing, alright?"
"Absolutely. That was a mistake, boss, and I'm really-" he began, but she held up her hand.
"Save it. I know you didn't do it on purpose. Now go on, get out of here," she directed, getting up and walking him to her door.
Lisbon locked the door behind him, and carefully closed all the blinds. Then she went to the coat rack and took down her leather jacket. She sat calmly down at her desk, leaned forward, and pulled the jacket over her head.
And then she laughed so hard she nearly cried.
THE END
A/N #2: Shameless plug - I usually don't put this kind of information in my stories, as it's not why I write or post them. But there is a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter for an animated short called "Lunar Attraction" that I would love to see funded. I have no direct connection to it myself other than being a backer, and having a strong desire for it to succeed. Please check out my profile right away for a direct link if you're interested, as there's less than 24 hours left to go in the project...
