If my heart was a house...
Chapter 1: The One? (27.1.11)
Chapter 2: The Date!
Chapter 3: Meeting the family
Chapter 4: Is it ever this easy?
Chapter 5: Long story short
Chapter 6:Oh Baby...
Chapter 7: Coming home
Chapter 8: Cuz' I can
Chapter 9: Road trip
Chapter 10: Fighting for you
Chapter 11: The big question
Chapter 12: Wait a little longer
Chapter 13: Breakthrough
Chapter 14: It's a...
Chapter 15: What you do to me
Chapter 16: Vacation
Chapter 17: Jealousy
Chapter 18: You ARE the one!
Chapter 19: What's mine isn't yours!
Chapter 20: Happy End?
Chapter 21: ….you'd be home!
OK...so there you've got a little list of what the chapters will be called...it may change while I'm writing this...
Anyway...last night I couldn't sleep and when I finally did I had a dream...about Ben Graupner...and since it was so detailed and I can't get it out of my head I decided to write a story about it and post it here...I'll try to update every week but since I'm going to work soon I'm not sure I can make it on time...we'll see. Hope you enjoy it!
Ben's age seems to be a mystery sooooo I just made him the same age as Jackson since they were class mates in Interlochen …..
Lots of love and hugs...banygirl...XOXO
Chapter 1:
What a terrible day! I was totally exhausted and only wanted to fall into my bed and sleep for the next 20 years...
I am a social worker...I'm 25 and moved to LA 4 years ago...after I finished my education as a support worker for people with a disability.
I truly loved my job but sometimes it was so damn exhausting. I was living with my best friend Vanessa...also known by Nessie. We moved together after her break-up from her shitty ex-boyfriend,a total control freak. We both started working at the same Center but I soon found myself missing something. So now I'm working as a free assistant for people with a disability. They are all still teenagers with very rich parents who only want whats best for their kids. I love the kids but the parents are horrible. They want their kids to be something they can never be. And in the end they make them unhappy. I try my best to fulfill each wish but sometimes I have to say no. and parents never like to hear no. Like today. I got into a huge fight with a mother. The whole situation is totally fucked up and now I'm left to decide to report the situation or not.
I was drifting of to sleep when I heard a knock on my door.
"Yeah..." I mumbled.
"Hey sweets...I heard of what happened today...and well...I thought you might wanna go out with me and James." Nessie asked as she sat down next to me.
She truly turned into my best friend. We went to the same school together and soon found we were like soul mates so since 7 years nothing could separate us.
"Where to?"
"Roxy. James wanted to celebrate his birthday..."
"Its only next month"
"Yeah you know him...he's turning 35...which means its the end of his life...or whatever..."
I had to laugh at that. James was probably my oldest friend. Back in Germany we used to live next door. His brother was my classmate and a total ass. When they moved back to LA James and I always talked over Skype, wrote mails, called and so on. He was like my older brother. He also helped me decide what I wanted to do with my life. And when I started my education he offered me a job here in LA at the Center even though he knew I never wanted such a job. I'm a free spirit. I can't follow rules and a straight plan. I know the reasons for that but I don't dare to talk about it. Another cute thing about James is-he's gay. And he LOVES to gossip. He turned from a big brother to my very best friend.
"Well...tell the bitch I'm coming but he has to buy me a drink...or two..." I said as I tried to drag myself into the shower.
The Roxy was packed. And the longer we stayed the more it seemed that James had invited the whole city to come. It was a fun night. Until the moment where I just couldn't dance or laugh anymore. I just wanted to sit down and be alone. The stress of the week finally got to me. So I excused myself and went outside to get some fresh air. I stood outside a watched all the people laughing and having fun. They all seemed to have no problems. But I guess even for them it was just a facade. I sighed again and turned to go back inside and say goodbye when I ran right into someone. I almost fell back onto my ass but was caught by two strong arms circling me and keeping me steady. I had a strong hold of the shoulders belonging to those arms. I looked up and saw the most amazing green eyes in the world. And the most amazing smile.
"I'm sorry...I...I..."
"It's OK. No harm done. You OK?"
"Yeah...I'm fine."
"Good."
I expected him to let go of me...but he didn't. He just kept looking at me and honestly I didn't want him to let me go.
"I'm Ben. By the way."
"I know...I mean I'm Olivia."
"So you know huh?" he grinned...oh dear Lord please don't let me wake up now!
"Yes I do. I a fan of the band."
"The band or Jackson?"
"The band. I love your music not the guys...I'm not a twelve year old girl nor a 40 years old divorced woman with a weird sense of reality."
"doesn't matter..we love all our fans. No matter how crazy they are."
"Good to know. Well Ben...it was nice meeting you but I have to get back in. I'm celebrating a birthday."
"Well than...happy birthday..."
"Oh its not mine. My best friend is celebrating his birthday a month earlier because he is scared of getting old and just wants to get it over with and...I should just shut up. I'm sorry."
"What were you doing out here alone?"
"Oh I just needed to get some fresh air and clear my head a little."
"Well I'm sure they can miss you for a few more minutes. Come on keep me some company."
"What? You afraid of the dark or something?" what the hell is wrong with me? I never talk to guys. Never...
"No but I somehow like talking to you."
"OK."
"Just OK?"
"Jap. What else do you want me to say?"
"Cool."
He finally let go of me and I instantly missed him...but he seemed to think so too, took my hand and let me away from the door to sit a bench.
"So where are you from?"
"Germany. Why?"
"Well I could guess you're not from here. You look way to normal for that. And the accent. Well no accent."
"What?"
"You don't have an accent. Most people do. You can tell the difference."
"Well if it calms you down I do have an accent but only when I'm speaking German."
"That's cool. What are you doing here in LA? Vacation?"
"No. I live here. I work here."
"Oh. How come?"
"The mentioned friend had offered me a job a few years back so I moved here and started working for him, I changed my job direction soon after but he was the reason I came here."
"Wow. That's a pretty big step."
"Only for the fearful. I wanted to escape my old life. I needed a big change. Something to keep me going and give me a new perspective on life. And a whole new world opened up for me. I can't say I regret it."
"That's amazing. But don't you miss your family?"
"Like crazy. But they know me. They know the changes I have made make me happy now. They finally turned me into the person I wanna be so they are OK with it. And there is Skype and paper to write letters...and emails...and all that stuff, you know. And a yearly visit. I had to promise my mom."
"So you came down here all alone?"
"No I came with my friend Nessie."
"Sounds pretty cool to me. Listen I gotta go back inside. We have a surprise gig today...but...here write down your number..." he handed me a pan and a paper.
"Why Mr. Pushy?"
"Woman don't play hard to get. You seem like the kind of woman I like and I want to get to know you. So give me your number and I will call you. If I don't see you later that is."
He smiled at me and instead of being offended I wrote down my number and gave the paper to him but kept the pen.
"Thanks...so wanna come inside with me?"
I took his hand and let him lead back inside.
"I'll call. I promise." he gave me a tight hug which turned my legs into jelly.
"OK. See you than Mr. Graupner." I smiled and turned to walk away when his hand stopped me. He gave me a piece of paper with a number on it.
"Just so you know who is calling you..." and with that he turned around and left.
The show was amazing. I didn't expect anything else. When I came back to the group they all stared at me and asked stupid questions. Apparently James had seen me with Ben and couldn't stop nagging me with it.
And soon it was time for me and Nessie to go home.
Now we were sitting on the kitchen eating our breakfast and not talking at all. Like always. We hated talking in the morning. When I was in bed last night I saved Ben's number in my phone. Now his pen was still lying on the kitchen table where I had put it yesterday.
"Hey Ness..."
"Hm"
"You remember when we wanted to got to see the band a few months back and you suddenly became sick and couldn't go..."
"Yeah. Why?"
"Well last night when James saw me with that guy...it was one of the band members."
"No way."
"Yea way. We ran into each other while I was outside and we started talking and I gave him my number and he gave me his and now I keep waiting for him to call and all that and I'm totally scared because you know what happened last time I was with someone..."
"Shut up! Good God Liv! This is amazing. You have been single for 7 years. You never even talk to guy. Every time they try you just ignore them and if you gave that guy your number that must be pretty big..."
"I know...it was weird. I mean I wanted to go back inside and ran right into him and he caught me and we talked and he didn't let me go and than we sat on a bench and talked some more and even though I feel like an idiot for the things I said at that moment it just felt...right...like I could tel him everything."
"That's amazing. You deserve to be happy again."
"Thanks babe. So how is it going with you and the hot Italian lover?"
"It's good. Well you know...taking it slow and all that stuff...but I really like him..."
"So he's good in bed and you want nothing more?"
"Jap."
We looked at each other and laughed. We could read each other like a book. Our teachers always thought we were weird. Even in tests we had the same mistakes, the same grade, the same points...everything totally alike. But it helped us. We could have open conversations without being open. We knew the other would read just the right thing into it.
"I don't know what to get him..."
"why do you look at me? If I had a clue I wouldn't tell you!"
"Great...so how about we give him a...damn it...I hate shopping."
Nessie and I were running though all the shops we knew to find the perfect gift for James. I was in a bad mood. For the last 3 weeks. And the reason behind it was a man. Not just any man but Ben fucking Graupner. He had promised to call and didn't. Nessie tried to reason with me. She was right. I had his number. But it didn't mean I had to call first when he promised. In reality I was just too insecure to call him. The fact that he hadn't called truly meant he didn't care right?
"OK you bitch...lets look somewhere else. Maybe we can go eat somewhere."
"Sure why not."
We were sitting in a nice small cafe. Owned by Mrs. Claber. Nessie and I found the cafe on one of our first shopping trips and now we came here once a week. Mrs. Claber is an elderly lady with a weird sense of humor. The opened the cafe when her husband dies 15 years ago.
"How about...a massage at the Merche? He loves going there.." She looked so happy...to bad I had to destroy little Nessies happiness.
"Na we gave him that for Christmas last years."
"Right."
"I thought about...Oh sorry." my phone started ringing and I desperately tried to get it out of my bag. When I finally did I almost died. It was Ben. On the screen was his name in big fat letters.
"Oh my god its him...what am I gonna do?"
"Pick up pick up pick!"
"Hello?"
"Uhm...hey...this is...Ben."
"Hey..."
"Would it help if I said I was sorry...and that I wanted to call you?"
"Depends on why you didn't"
"Well believe me or not I was scared shitless. I mean I don't know what happened but somehow I just...well I can't get you out of my head and I couldn't stop talking about you and the guys almost killed me. And I was scared to call because I thought maybe it was just me"
"Apology accepted."
"Oh thank god. So how have you been?" I've been missing you like crazy and waited for you to call and everytime my phone rang I got a heart attack...
"Good. Had lots of work to do and the usual party to go to. How about you?"
"Great. Me? Well I've been driving everyone crazy and had some band stuff to do."
"Cool."
"So how about a date."
"When?"
"Tonight."
"Depends."
"On what?"
"Tell me something I can give a 35 year old gay best friend who is totally crazy...and I mean gay on the Elton John level..."
"Uhm...how about a surprise party at a gay bar?"
"YES! That's great. He'll love that! Thank you.."
"No problem. So pick you up at 8?"
"Sure...can't wait" oh damn it! Me and my big mouth!
"me either. See ya than. Bye." and he hung up...
a minute later he called again.
"Yes?"
"I need the address.."
So this is it...i already started working on the next one. Which (in my opinion) is better than the first. But I hope you like it anyway...Reviews make me happy and the happier I get the fast I'll post!