Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ. Easy as that.
This was something that I thought of randomly after watching a glitch video on Youtube. I believe it's called "Twilight Realm as human", and it was posted by someone called peteyboo. If you want to go find it, you can.
Something Glitchy
Link walked up to the Ordon Spring gate, blatantly ignoring Colin's good idea to come through the tunnel. Of course, the gate was closed. But through the leaves, Colin saw the hero.
"Link?" he asked, confused.
Ilia, who had been stroking Epona, turned around and exploded at Link again. "If you came to take Epona back, you can FORGET it!" she yelled. "Why don't you think about what you've done for a change! I won't open the gate until you change your attitude!" With a huff, she turned back to the roan horse. "It's OK, my sweet horse," she cooed.
"Ilia, you don't know what happened yesterday," Colin muttered. Ilia ignored him, so Colin turned away from Ilia. "Listen, I don't know if she'll listen to me, but let me try to explain about Talo and the monkey, OK?" he whispered. "You crawl through the tunnel while I do. Got it, Link?"
Link nodded, but continued on towards the bridge to Faron, not caring about the coward or the horse-obsessed girl. The bridge gate was closed, but Link was determined to get through. He picked up a rock in front of the gate and put it next to one of the sides of the gate. Then he picked up another rock and put it next to the first one, this time directly in front of one of the gates.
(A/N: Wow, Link, how about you simply get the gate key??)
Link walked up to the gate, and then to the side. He turned back towards Ordon, slightly confused, and took a step away from the gate. Then he tried running into the gate. It was getting him nowhere, but Link wanted to get through too bad to quit. Finally, he rolled into the gate, and groaned as he hit his head on the wood. He shook his head and stood up, and found himself on the bridge. He raised an eyebrow at the glitchy gate before continuing on his way.
When he had crossed the bridge to Faron, he noticed a huge wall of darkness in front of him. This sparked something within him, and he drew his sword. "The darkness! I MUST DEFEAT IT!!!" he yelled, swinging his sword at a spot on his right where the wall of darkness touched the earthen divide.
"The darkness! I MUST DEFEAT IT!!!"
In the spring, Ilia and Colin looked up and towards the Faron Province.
Ilia's eyes widened. "Did Link just...talk??"
Link was consumed by light as he hit the wall with his feeble sword. When the light had faded, he was walking into a drastically different Faron Woods, one of shadows and twilight. Link looked behind him and saw a blinding wall of light, and in a defensive gesture, flipped backwards, never taking his eyes off the enemy that was the light.
(A/N: Link, Link...just how hard did you hit your head on that gate...)
Without warning, he turned away from the wall and brought his sword down on an imaginary foe, cackling with glee. Then, he straightened, catching sight of another one, and rapidly sidestepped back and forth, attempting to throw the patch of air off balance so he could end the fight in one strike.
All of a sudden, Link gave up on the air and continued on his merry way, somersaulting through the woods. A patch of grass decided to try to ambush him, but one clean stab through its heart and Link had left it in pieces. Happy that he had not died, Link continued rolling down the way. Link then got bored of that, and began walking like a normal human being.
Just when things were beginning to seem sane again, several black pillars fell from the very ugly sky and glowed red, creating a field of energy between them that prevented Link from leaving.
Link squinted and walked around the clearing, alert for any dangers.
All of a sudden, a black-and-red portal opened up in the sky above him, dropping three ugly black creatures all around him. Link stood, perfectly calm, as he took in the three figures on his flanks. He sank into a crouch and readied his sword.
"Aw..we're penned in again!"
Link jumped as a very ethereal voice came from seemingly nowhere.
"Pfft! Who do they think they're dealing with?" The voice said, somewhat snidely. Link looked around, searching for the voice's source, only half paying attention to what it was saying. "No need to take these little pests on one at a time, right? You can take them all at once!"
Link almost yelled in shock as his shadow jumped out from under him, formed the figure of a tiny imp, and flew off towards the barrier, yelling, "Good luck! 'Bye!"
Though it was very, very strange, Link shrugged off the creature and focused on the monsters, He lunged, slashed, and stabbed, but no sooner had the second one fallen that the last one standing suddenly roared a very unearthly roar, pinning Link in place with a strange fear. All of a sudden, the two monsters Link had dealt with rose, good as ever, ready to fight again.
Link suddenly remembered the little shadow freak, and hacked his way through the monsters to find it, floating nonchalantly, at the edge of the ring. He was about to land a finishing blow on the second monster for a second time, when he almost had a heart attack as his shadow, which was suddenly under him again, popped up in the shape of the imp.
"What's the holdup?" it asked in an irritated tone. "If you leave the last one alive, it's just going to use that shriek to bring the others back. Listen, let me help you out here! Just move like I tell you to! You just hold down B and I'll expand an energy field. Enclose all of your enemies within it and release the button!" it instructed.
Link eyed the shadow weirdo strangely, raising his eyebrow, monsters closing in on him completely forgotten.
Midna couldn't believe Link was acting so stupid. Did he suddenly not understand Twilan? Did he hit his head against the gate too hard? Come to think of it, why was he even human? "What?" she snapped, glaring at his confused expression. "Snap to it!"
Link raised his eyebrow at her rudeness.
"What?" she asked again, getting nervous of the shadow beasts closing in.
"Who the fuck are you?!" Link yelled.