iAvert your eyes.
Now, goddammit.
Avert your eyes.
Look away now; before he catches you staring!/i
"Commander?"
iYou're such an idiot Markus. Such an... damn it./i
"I, uh..." i Want you. I want you to press me up against the wall, kiss me violently, confess to me that you've always known how I felt, that you've always felt the same way, confess that you've always wanted me the way I want you, as much as I want you. I want to marry you, settle down somewhere and adopt a bunch of kids and love happily ever after. I want-/i "Could you go up to the bridge and ask Joker how we're doing? I'll get up there in a minute."
Kaidan looked confused at him for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, sure."
It took all of Markus' willpower not to grab the lieutenant and pull him against himself as he left to take to elevator up from the cargo bay.
iEventually you'll have to get over him, Markus. He's not gay. It'll never happen, no matter how much you wish for it./i
Even though he'd known this for almost as long as he'd known Kaidan, he just couldn't give up, he couldn't let go. Instead he kept wishing, kept hoping while spending all that time alone. Sometimes he realized how much better he would feel if he could just get over this crush, but he forgot that as soon as Alenko would smile, even just glance in his direction.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath, before grabbing his helmet and heading over to the elevator to get up to the bridge as well.
If he'd only been born a woman, all this would be a lot simpler. It'd be one less thing to worry about at least.
Shepard wanted to believe that someone falls in love with a person and not just their sex, but in his whole life he had never been in love with a woman, never been attracted to one. He never saw them in that way. He had only felt desire towards men. He'd been in love with straight men before though, and it had never been easy, but this was the first time that he'd been unable to let it go. Maybe it was because he was always so close to Kaidan, or maybe it was just because it was Kaidan. But no matter the reason, Markus just couldn't-
As he stepped out from the elevator, he felt a tremor going through the Normandy, and he could hear a series of explosions. They were under attack.
He could hear people shouting.
Markus hurried towards the mess hall, getting to the back of the ships, at the end of the long row with sleeping pods. Fires was already spreading through the ship.
"Commander!" It was Joker's voice coming from the speakers, "We're being attacked by an unidentified enemy."
He got to the back of the ship, to where the control board was located to ready the distress beacon and the escape pods. "How bad is it?"
"They're tearing right through us!"
He cursed under his breath. Wasn't they supposed to be invisible? What enemy ship could do this much damage in such little time, where they had no chance to escape or fight back.
The fire alarms sounded through the ship.
"Get to an escape shuttle Joker!"
"The hell I am!"
"Joker?" Another explosion. "Joker!" iGoddamn it!/i He readied the beacon, the fire getting closer and the heat getting almost unbearable.
"Shepard!"
Markus put on his helmet, "The distress beacon is ready for launch."
"Will the Alliance get here in time?"
He picked up one of the fire extinguishers before turning to Kaidan, "The Alliance won't abandon us, we just have to hold on!"
Another explosion, the ship shaking so much he almost lost his balance. "Get everyone onto the escape shuttles."
"Joker's still in the cockpit; he won't abandon ship."
iOf course not. Damn that man's obsession with this ship./i
"I'm not leaving either!"
His head snapped, eyes locking onto Alenko's through both of their helmets. "I need you to get everyone onto the evac shuttles." He wasn't about to let Kaidan stay on a ship that couldn't be saved.
He tossed the extinguisher to Alenko when he saw that some of the wires to the control panel had been cut, reaching to fix them. "I'll take care of Joker."
"Commander..."
"Kaidan, go!" He turned his head towards the lieutenant. "Now."
Kaidan hesitated for a moment, before he gave the Commander a quick nod. "Aye aye."
Markus turned his eyes back to the wires, feeling his heart let out a sigh of relief.
iYou're the last person I'll ever want to see die on my watch, Kaidan./i
Soon he realized he didn't have time to completely fix the wires, so he had to leave them, hoping that it would be enough. Markus hurried to the bridge, only to find the top of the ship completely missing over the CIC.
iAnd Joker is still refusing to leave the Normandy?/i
He walked as fast as he dared in the now zero-gravity environment, soon grabbing a hold of the flight lieutenants chair.
"Joker! Get your ass onto a shuttle!"
"No!" The pilot refused to look at him, "I can still save her!"
"The Normandy is gone!" Shepard screamed, "Going down with the ship won't change that!"
Joker stopped, looking at the screen for a moment before lowering his head, "Yeah, you're right... Help me get up from here."
He reached to help Joker up, when he saw the enemy ship turning around to come back again.
"They're coming around for another attack!"
The only thing Markus could do was to watch the Normandy get cut into small pieces. They didn't stand a chance staying here.
"Come on Joker!" He grabbed the pilot by his arm, pulling him up on his feet.
"Argh!" Joker groaned, "Watch the arm!"
"Yeah yeah, I'm sorry, just hurry up."
They ran through the ship as fast as they dared with the other ship still attacking, with Joker's bones that could snap at anytime, with the entire top of the Normandy missing.
He got Joker into the shuttle, and Shepard had just enough time to watch the enemy cut right through the ship once more before an explosion threw him off, making him lose his balance and sending him away from the shuttle. He reaches out to grab something, his fingers slipping, but he manages to holds on.
"Commander!"
His eyes turns to Joker, his mind flashing with images of the Normandy's crew as his hand fumbles to find the eject button.
"SHEPARD!"
The shuttle door closes and Markus knows that he won't survive this. He might have survived a lot of things, but this... even he isn't that lucky.
A final blast. The Normandy is gone. His crew is either safe in the evac shuttles or dead, as he will be soon. Kaidan... God, he hopes he made it out.
It's getting harder to breathe. There's been a rapture in his suit and the oxygen is getting out into space. He tries to hold on to it, tries to fix it and feels the panic gripping him.
Images of his life flashes like a movie playing inside his head, old lines playing on repeat.
i'I've taken enough of your time now, Commander.'/i
It darkens before his eyes.
iI just wanted some more time.../i