In the darkest hours of the night, a garbled mass of a figure could be seen striding through long sweeps of grass into the lands where fire perpetually burned the earth into obsidian. The figure, engulfed in billowing robes of fire, was owned by a very peculiar old wizard. A half-being, half-elemental force thrown within the bounds of a flame; he was one of the oldest villains Ooo had ever feared but since forgotten many centuries ago. In his heyday, his dark power had exceeded that of the Rain Wraith and even the Lich's evil intern, the Ghost Eater. But he was sucked of his precious power and struck down by a soaring alliance of wizards and wild tribes, exiled to a hellish, unworldly dimension. This fact was agonizingly poignant to the defeated lord; it was a chip on his shoulder that dug into the tendons, searing his nerves.
Almost immediately, however, his brooding gave way to a grin full of smoke stained teeth, for he had just the card to gain back his fortunes. He quickened his pace through the Fire Kingdom, keeping to the molten rivers that would lead him to a great volcano far apart from civilization. Once inside the mountain he set to work, pulling out his compendium of summons. He ran his fingers through the hand bound pages, their edges crispy and yellowed from when the flame shield had ran out momentarily. Diagrams, prompts, conjurations- all of his own making, produced out of so many years suffering. It was the only pride he found in his estranged existence, for it was the key to his redemption. He cleared his throat and listened to the long echo in the belly's chamber, then began sending whispered spells into the air. The murmurs burst into a winding chant as lava bubbled and popped in the stomach of the volcano, odd vortexes crystallized in the splashing fire and dissolved just as soon. The evil wizard was in a trance, wavering back and forth, transmitting his code to the heat. Out of the waves formed a door framed in fire and as the portal became firm a warped image arose in the panel. A growling beast lay in wait, it's grotesque body a multitude of tentacles with skin not of this world that showed no texture but absolute abyss with an outline of deep blue; the only features that sprung from the blackness were two round, yellow eyes and a blue twisting mouth. They floated in a globule that perched on top of the body.
"Finally, Ignisem. Get me out of this hell pit." The horrific creature rumbled.
Ignisem nodded, only flinching slightly at seeing his old prison of exile behind the monster.
Soon, I will once again rule the rich land, he soothed himself and focused back on the spells.
His incantations flew up into a roar; the sea of lava was jerking and exploding in a terrifying rage. In a moment of pure noise, an inner lucidity to the portal stretched from the center out to the frame and the monstrosity slimed out into this dimension.
"Now I have the power to bring you from the Sideways Flamish Abyssal, Atrocitas. Now no one can stop me." Ignisem huffed, managing a baleful smirk between his pants of exhaustion.
"You still lack the power to summon my army, Ignisem. We must maintain our discretion." The monster remarked, "but the night is young on this sheep farm, let us go taste some innocent blood."
A smile slithered across its face, white thorns beneath the lips.
* * *
"Princess, I'm sorry to interrupt…" A mint candy in suit dawdled in the hall.
"Oh, that's fine Peppy, do come in." A regal voice called in a soothing way.
Princess Bubblegum sighed very discretely, bowing her head to her guest sitting across a small coffee table. The man sat firm in his casually assertive manner, smiling genuinely at the princess. He was the esteemed prince Singly Eota: a war hero of Ooo, hailing from Castle Catwarmth in the Shiny Isles. A warrior prodigy, he set his stature by ridding the land of the ruthless Neardowhales and their crime syndicate. His likeness smiled over posh dining halls and food carts alike in glorified portraits, his exploits winding in everyone's imagination, and his presence, the princess found, was particularly exhausting. He carried himself lightly and gracefully, his wits as sharp as his reflexive skill on the battlefield. He matched her edgy prattle with just as much intelligence and even a bit more charm, which she struggled to accept gracefully. Years of her staunch rejection of any suitor had made a restless public. They hardly cared to hide their fantasies of a royal wedding anymore, and he hid nothing- only dodged. He leaned so much ambiguity on his sentences that she felt she was both fighting to keep the wit and the guard in her word choice, not giving him a hint of flirtation. A smile came out of his keenly sculptured features in the silence between them, and she noted the rarity of his beauty and wits as a goblin.
These are odd times, she hummed in her head.
She nodded again at him and pushed herself up from the plush chair, his piercing eyes tracing her as she crossed over to the butler-messenger at the door.
"Go ahead," said Bubblegum.
"Ah, ok… there has been report of an assault, occurring yesterday in the southwest grasslands. Our consort there has described the aggressors to be an ink monster accompanied by a fire wizard. Eight souls lost."
"'Ink monster?'" The princess repeated.
"Ah, yes. That's the explicit wording. An 'ink monster with a wizard of fire'. I would suggest that this could be linked to a recent incident at the edge of the Desert Lands. Four souls dead there and a few acres of the Spooky Forest burned down. Survivors described a 'wizard who was producing fire'."
"Hmm, so you have a menace I see." The noise of sliding steel approached Bubblegum from behind.
"Ah, Prince Eota… what an honor." Peppermint Butler bowed deeply.
"Do you have further information on these hostiles, Peppers?" Princess Bubblegum said after the butler straightened from his bow.
"Well, ah…"
"Yes?" Eota pushed ahead of Bubblegum.
"Um, It's not in the Kingdom's domain." Peppermint Butler seemed nervous.
"If there are innocent souls at risk, I do not care whose jurisdiction it falls under." Eota said.
For the second time today she was shocked at his bold passion. He really was a hero. Still…
"Ah, it's an incident I've heard from a friend. It's about the Underground." He seemed to shake a little when Bubblegum subtly rolled her eyes, disgusted at the very mention of the Gomorrah of Ooo. He continued nonetheless after a gulp,
"ah, well, they say a wizard has been sabotaging their soul source- the Spark Alternator, you will remember. It has impacted their infrastructure quite a bit. Untold souls lost there."
"Hmm, well it doesn't really count since those souls are already dead." Princess Bubblegum said, crossing her arms.
Eota turned towards Bubblegum, "my Princess, if I may, the Underground is still technically an associate of the Kingdom, under conditions of the Ghost Eater Treaty. And under the Black Licorice Agreement the Kingdom is required to aid the Underground if they encounter any troubles with the Spark Alternator, since it is mutually beneficial. Is that still correct?"
"Yeah, yeah…'the proper function of the Soul Source must be maintained to ensure no loss or manipulation of the fellow souls of Our Land.'" She recalled, but it was more like mocking. This was her little rebellious tendency, how she kept interesting- mostly to herself.
Eota took a second to smile, like he knew why she had said it so funny, then said:
"my lady, this wizard is a threat to the security of our lands. I will make it my personal quest to rescind whatever is inhibiting you." He bowed gracefully, even in his battle armor.
The Princess accepted his word, squinting a little upon reading into the subtle double meaning he had sewed in. In the offbeat of silence, he glanced at her and took a deep breath as if to start something heavy.
"Oh! Do you hear that? It must be your parade, good knight!" Bubblegum said, rushing to the opposite side of the room and unlocking a latch that retained two heavy doors together. The hero followed, bemused. Upon swinging open the doors, a blast of noisy pomp hit the two and they walked onto the balcony to see the entire Candy Kingdom below them cheering. The hero Eota lit up as he waved to his admirers, blowing kisses, laughing loudly.
He's great. Smart, brave, honest…He's the hero we need in these weird times, she thought. Still, for all that charm I can't seem to be thrilled. He doesn't excite me like… Oh, curse that vampire girl! Why can't she leave my thoughts?