"Matsumoto?" Tôshirô, the captain of tenth company called from his room.
His legs were sticking out from under his bed and when Matsumoto came in, she giggled and said, "Oh Toshie! What are you doing under there?"
Tôshirô backed out from under the bed looking rather flustered.
"I was looking for my left sandal. Have you seen it?"
Matsumoto giggled again and said, "No, sorry. Do you have an extra pair?"
"Well, yes but the one I was looking for was my favorite." Tôshirô whined.
"Oh, okay. Well, you'd better get the other pair until we can find the missing one." Matsumoto left the room and Tôshirô proceeded to take out his second pair of sandals.
When he was ready, Tôshirô left his room to join Matsumoto outside. She was sitting at a small table sipping her morning tea. Tôshirô sat down across from her and said, "So."
"So." Matsumoto repeated.
"I found my other pair of sandals."
"That's great."
"Yep."
Matsumoto took another sip of her tea, then put it down rather suddenly and said almost shyly, "Toshie?"
"I hate it when you call me that. I am your captain Matsumoto." Tôshirô scolded her.
"Whatever. I said it just before and you didn't seem to notice." The foxy assistant captain muttered.
"Yeah, well, maybe that's because I was too wrapped up in the fact that I had lost one of my favorite sandals!"
Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Yes, I gathered that. Anyway, that isn't what I wanted to talk about."
"Well, what did you want to talk about then?" Tôshirô asked, completely clueless.
Matsumoto fidgeted in her seat. "Well, um, you remember last week, at that bar? You know, the party?"
"Oh yeah! But I don't remember much. Thanks to Hisagi challenging me to see who could drink more. Damn him." Tôshirô cursed under his breath.
"Right, that party. Well, I remember something that happened, and it wasn't good." Matsumoto continued, stirring her tea with her finger.
Tôshirô's eyes opened wide with horror and he said, "Oh no. Did I sing Baby? Be honest Matsumoto, did I?"
"Well, yes, but that wasn't what I was talking about."
"Oh god! I can't believe it! My reputation will be ruined! I can't go on!"
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME WILL YOU!" Matsumoto yelled.
Tôshirô recoiled and squeaked, "Okay."
"Good. At the party, you were very very very very drunk. And I was almost very drunk. Aizen and Momo were walking us home, and when they left, I heard you calling me from your bed. I went in to see what was going on (I don't know why, remembering how drunk I was), and, you pulled meclose to you and kissed me. Right smack-dab on mah lips.
"Then you hopped out of bed and . . . you were naked. By the way, nice erm, bedspread. So anyway, you were naked, and you ripped off my clothes and started kissing me again. But not just on my face. And I really wish I could say that we stopped there, but if I did, I'd be lying."
Tôshirô was staring with his eyes as wide as teacups at the ground. Matsumoto was getting worried. Tôshirô hadn't blinked for an entire minute.
"Um, Toshie? Hellooo? Snap out of it man!"
Tôshirô snapped back to reality and shook his head like a dog.
"I'm back! God I can't believe we did that."
"Yeah, I know. But there's something else."
"What! What could be worse than this? Oh no. You don't have an STD or something do you?" Tôshirô panicked.
"No I do not have an STD! But, uh, I think I might be pregnant. I'm late."
Tôshirô went back into his staring state, but when he came back again, he said, "Maybe not! Maybe you're just going through menopause!"
"Ugh!" Matsumoto yelped, very offended. "I'm not that old! I'm not old at all!"
"You're older than me." Tôshirô muttered under his breath.
"Not by that much!"
"Oh, by a lot."
"No way! You're like a little brother to me!"
"So why did you have SEX with me!"
"UGH!" Matsumoto stomped away angrily, but then turned back around and yelled to Tôshirô, "And there is no way I'm helping you find your sandal now!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!" Matsumoto stomped away again.
Tôshirô watched Matsumoto as far as he could, and when he was sure she was gone, he reached over and took her cup of tea.
"Aaaaaahhhh," Tôshirô said. "Yummy."