MADDISON because they're love. I think this is one of my favorite one-shots so far, but maybe that's just me.
Disclaimer- No, no, no I own nothing. Oh and yes, I got this title from My Chemical Romance's "I'm not Okay (I promise)", I don't own that either.
REVIEWS, PLEASE.
(I said please…)
*Addison*
You cry because you care. You cry because you miss him. You cry for so many reasons, and yet you don't cry because you love him, you rather not face that.
You're a mess. You're insecure, fragile and hurt, you're so fucked up but you don't even realize it. It's hard for you to face the truth, but you can, you've done it before.
Life isn't what it used to be; hell it's not even a fraction of what it used to be. You get that, but still at the same time you don't.
You love him, you've always loved him, but he hurt you, and regardless of if it was on purpose or not, he still hurt you.
You hate yourself but him even more. You love him, you fucking love him.
You're confused and nervous, but you still call, you'll always call.
It's three in the morning and his phone rings but it doesn't matter, it's not like he was actually sleeping.
"Addison?" You hear him say on the other end.
A smile places upon your lips and you add, "Mark."
You realize that something's different, he doesn't sound happy. Why doesn't he sound happy?
"What's wrong?" you ask, halfway regretting bringing it up.
He laughs, which confuses you. His voice shifts and you listen, "What do you want from me?"
The question catches you off guard, "I just…wanted to talk to you." Hell, you don't even convince yourself that's the truth.
"Bullshit, Addison."
You hold back your tears, "I needed to talk to you."
"Stop calling me. Stop thinking about me, Damnit get out of my head. Addison, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of you, just leave me the hell alone."
You start to cry uncontrollably, not even bothering to try and hold back. "I'll go", you say, "I should go."
You hang up and slide down the wall. You're hurting, he hurt you, again.
You should've known, you should've known.
*Mark*
And your voice, ever so steadily announces "Addison, wait, I need you. Come home."
Then you look at the phone and notice the call was ended two minutes ago.
You fall back on the wall, clutching onto the bottle of scotch and taking one huge sip. The world's fucked up and so are you. You're cold and broken. Your hostility has grown to the point of no fix. The only thing that ever mattered in your life is gone, possibly forever and there sure as hell isn't a feeling worse than that.
Eventually you end up internally hating yourself because you finally realize what she must have felt like,
Because right here, right now, you know what it's like to be alone.
I'm not okay,
I'm not okay,
I'm not okay.
Reviews? (: Sorry if there's any mistakes I had this written for like ever but rushed to type it and put it up.