SONIC
I don't want to make an introduction.
Tails is always telling me I need to slow down when I'm telling stories, give context, explain things more. But no, I don't have time for all that. Let me just get straight to it.
My girl is with another guy. Yeah, that's right – the most amazing girl in the world, that one that I've known my entire life, the one I've saved countless times, the one that I grew up with and have always admired – she's dating another dude. What? I can't believe it, man. Guess I always thought one day, she'd stop playing games, and me and her would finally get together. I mean, me and Amy have always been tight. Let's be honest, she keeps me out of trouble if anyone could. And now – now I find out she's into some other dude? Who does he think he is, trying to come in and get my girl? I don't even know anything about him, Amy just mentioned she was seeing someone, and now here I am stewing about it.
Yeah, that saying about how the hero always gets the girl? Yeah, that's a myth.
I'm just, angry. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.
What kills me, is what Amy said to me when she first mentioned this whole sitch'. She said so many things, but this one part keeps echoing in my head, over and over like a painful itch in my heart that won't go away.
"I really like him…"
How, how could she? What's wrong with me? Am I not the guy who was always there for her when she needed me most?
"I really like him…"
Him, a guy she probably just met, sweet-talked her, and somehow won her heart. What the hell did he do that I've never been able to, in years and years of knowing her?
"I really like him…"
Him. Him, and not me. She really likes him, and she never really seemed to care for me? I don't get it. Not at all. What could I have done differently?
"I still want you to be happy."
Yeah, way to hit a guy where it hurts, Ames. I know she doesn't mean it, but she's breaking my heart with this. I just… I feel tears coming on, and I never cry. I hate crying. I'm devastated, knowing that the girl I love more than anything, and have loved for years and years, chose someone else. She had the option to pick me over and over again, gave her every opportunity, but I'm left here with nothing but the memories we made together. Guess they'll always mean more to me than to her.
God, this is killing me, why? I'm the perfect guy for her, I'd treat her so well, I know everything she likes, I bought her ice cream, I've proposed as a joke (kinda not as a joke?), and I'd do anything to please her. We'd stay up late just talking, sharing stuff, getting closer. But apparently that's not enough. Apparently I'm second best.
For me, it was always her, always Amy. But for her, it was never me.
We've had moments in the past that made me think I'd finally broken through to her. I'd hold her a bit longer than usual, she'd compliment me, I'd blush and hide it and then she'd go on her way. And I'd dream and hope that one day she'd turn around and say she DID want to go on a date and we would and were so happy. But it never happened. It was never me that she was dreaming and thinking about and wanting. Guess I just thought.. one day, one day it'd be me. I'm not patient but the cool thing about Amy is she makes me want to wait. Hell, I'd wait all day just to hold her hand. Hafta admit, in the brief moments I carry her from danger, I'd go slower than I needed to just to hold her a millisecond longer. Amy made me do things that weren't like me at all, things I'd do just for her.
What was all of that for now? Had I just been wasting my time? I've been into her for years and I've made no secret about it, but she's never seemed to like me back, and it just boggles my mind. Everyone loves me. I'm Sonic. And she's gonna tell me some random dude out there is better than me. Hurts. I honestly want to reach into my chest and pull my heart out, straight up remove it from my body, just so I can stop feeling like this.
As I look back at all the times we had together, I wonder if there's anything I coulda done differently. But no, man, I gave it all I got, I always do. I put my heart and soul into this relationship to make it somethin'. And it never was.
While a huge part of me just wants to track this guy down, whoever he is, and kick him in the face, I know I can't do that. Amy's happy, and … I can't take that from her. I always kinda thought she was mine, even joked that I was her boyfriend. And she even played along sometimes…. But now, I realize that's not true, it's never been true. And my dreams of traveling the world together, with her by my side, just won't happen. This huge part of my heart has just been torn out and strangled and the worst part is, the worst part is that I can't do anything about it. As much as I want to, I can't.
I don't want to give up, but I'm a gentleman, and I don't own her, I know that. Doesn't mean it hurts any less. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Doesn't mean we can still have the same friendship. I think I should just be alone for a bit, cause if I run into her new… boyfriend… who she really likes, I don't think I could keep it together.
I'm really bad at introductions, and feelings, and being a boyfriend apparently. All I can do now is hurt, and hide my tears, nurse this broken heart...and be what's left of me.