Disclaimer: So, this mollusc walks up to me and says he's got a secret to tell me. I bend down to hear it and he shouts: "YOU DON'T OWN YU YU HAKUSHO!" And then I smack the mollusc because molluscs' can't talk anyway.
AN This is a ficlet I promised for Kuroi, because... well... I wanted to write it. It can actually be in any characters point of view, but because Kuroi loves Hiei so much, it's his POV. (But if you want, you can change that - I think this can apply to just about any character in any anime.)
For you, Kuroi. Because you're such a great friend. ^__^
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My Emptiness
~Hiei's POV~
The pain I feel inside, is it reflected through my eyes as much as I think it is? I can feel tears welling up as I try to understand just what it is I'm needing to feel. But I don't understand. I don't think that anybody can truly understand just what it is I have to hold dear in my heart.
The others, they call themselves my friends. I do not understand why. They know nothing about me. They don't know what drives me or why I do the things that I do. I don't even know why half of the time.
I sometimes wonder if I'm not the only one hiding behind a mask. If perhaps, so are the others. Their personalities are so fixated that I cannot see them as any body else. Nobody can seem them as anybody else. I hate to think that who we are was predestined. That we cannot change.
We cannot grow stronger than already determined, we cannot stretch our limits past what is already decided.
And if that is truth, is that why I feel like I do? As an empty shell? An insecure person hiding behind a mask woven completely of lies? I'm not sure that's who I want to be.
But I cannot change it. I have spent so long formulating my mask, putting it together piece after agonizing piece. I spent so long putting up my barriers, hiding who I really am... that I forgot who I was.
Who am I?
Nobody else can tell me, they don't know me because I hide myself so well. I cannot tell me for the same reasons. I've been running from myself for so long - that it's only in these rare moments that I can begin to undo the mask I wear. Only when I'm completely alone that I can begin to fall the wall I built.
But with every hit against that wall, or crack in that mask... I begin to fear what is behind it all. It must have been locked away for a reason, right? Every time I managed to puncture a hole in my defences, I can feel the pain.
It shines though my eyes.
And it hurts.
And it makes me wonder, can anybody else see what kind of pain I'm going through? And if they can, do they care? Do I want them to care? Should I care? Or perhaps I'm just looking too deeply into something that should be left alone.
I'm starting to believe I was fated to be alone.
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AN Tell the beaver to stop chewing on my leg and review.
.
AN This is a ficlet I promised for Kuroi, because... well... I wanted to write it. It can actually be in any characters point of view, but because Kuroi loves Hiei so much, it's his POV. (But if you want, you can change that - I think this can apply to just about any character in any anime.)
For you, Kuroi. Because you're such a great friend. ^__^
===============================
My Emptiness
~Hiei's POV~
The pain I feel inside, is it reflected through my eyes as much as I think it is? I can feel tears welling up as I try to understand just what it is I'm needing to feel. But I don't understand. I don't think that anybody can truly understand just what it is I have to hold dear in my heart.
The others, they call themselves my friends. I do not understand why. They know nothing about me. They don't know what drives me or why I do the things that I do. I don't even know why half of the time.
I sometimes wonder if I'm not the only one hiding behind a mask. If perhaps, so are the others. Their personalities are so fixated that I cannot see them as any body else. Nobody can seem them as anybody else. I hate to think that who we are was predestined. That we cannot change.
We cannot grow stronger than already determined, we cannot stretch our limits past what is already decided.
And if that is truth, is that why I feel like I do? As an empty shell? An insecure person hiding behind a mask woven completely of lies? I'm not sure that's who I want to be.
But I cannot change it. I have spent so long formulating my mask, putting it together piece after agonizing piece. I spent so long putting up my barriers, hiding who I really am... that I forgot who I was.
Who am I?
Nobody else can tell me, they don't know me because I hide myself so well. I cannot tell me for the same reasons. I've been running from myself for so long - that it's only in these rare moments that I can begin to undo the mask I wear. Only when I'm completely alone that I can begin to fall the wall I built.
But with every hit against that wall, or crack in that mask... I begin to fear what is behind it all. It must have been locked away for a reason, right? Every time I managed to puncture a hole in my defences, I can feel the pain.
It shines though my eyes.
And it hurts.
And it makes me wonder, can anybody else see what kind of pain I'm going through? And if they can, do they care? Do I want them to care? Should I care? Or perhaps I'm just looking too deeply into something that should be left alone.
I'm starting to believe I was fated to be alone.
===============================
AN Tell the beaver to stop chewing on my leg and review.
.