Rin was running again.
It was the first time she had run like this since her journey to Kel, since her encounters there had changed her for good. The last time she had run like this—the mindless sprinting, vision-blurring, jagged-breath running that she loved-she had still hated herself.
She recalled, like a memory that was on the path to being forgotten, how she used to run because she was afraid, how her heart used to be heavy with hate and loneliness and wrongness. She realized now that she had been running away from herself. The speed and the urgency and the blurred mess of the world passing her by gave her the illusion that she was moving forward. She ran as if the lurking shadow of her true self was an avalanche, chasing her at her heels and on the verge of engulfing her. She ran to save her from her fears; to save her from herself.
But this time, running felt different.
Rin realized that for the first time since Kel, she wasn't running from anything. She was running for the sheer joy of running.
She came to this realization, and an overwhelming wave of something overtook her. She did not know yet what it was, but the next thing she knew, she was laughing, high carefree. The laugh echoed through the forest. The trees seemed to lean to her, sharing their closeness. She felt the roughness of the forest floor beneath her feet, felt the whisper of the wind through the trees and the cool forest air against her face. She felt like she could do anything in the world. She felt as if nothing could harm her. She felt whole, and yet she was herself. And with another dawning realization, Rin found the name of the feeling that had overtaken her.
Confidence.
The forest seemed to hear her thought, and it was as if the rustle of the trees were whispering the word like a fresh piece of gossip. Confidence-confidence-confidence-confidence-confidence. Rin slowed her running to a walk, and, heart thudding violently, wrapped her arms around the trunk of the nearest aspen. She closed her eyes, opened up that space inside her, and waited for the familiar green calm.
Strong, reaching roots. The trickle of sap through the veins. The toughness of the bark. Endless rings of memory. The lazy flutter of leaves. The-
"Rinna!"
Rin snapped her eyes open and started away from the tree, whipping around to face the source of the voice. She heard the crackling of leaves underfoot as someone approached.
"Who's there?" she called nervously.
From the deep sea of green and brown emerged a freckled boy of nearly eighteen, with a shock of auburn hair and soft brown eyes. His ever-present orange cap was scrunched up in a sweaty ball in his left hand.
"Oh," said Rin. "Hello, Conrad."
"H-Hello," said Conrad.
Rin noticed the way he was panting and sweating, as if he had physically exerted himself to almost breaking point. Her eyes widened, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Have you been following me this whole time?"
A blush worked its way up Conrad's neck, and Rin felt a funny sensation in her belly. "You're pretty hard to catch," Conrad said, his breath slowing. "How did you learn to run so fast?"
Rin looked down at the leaves beneath her feet. "I guess I've just been running my whole life… Razo taught me," she added, a little more brightly, because it was partially true. Razo had taught her everything, from slinging her first squirrel to scaling her first tree.
Conrad laughed. It was a lovely laugh, Rin decided, and she wondered why it wasn't heard more often. "Of course he did," he said, smiling shyly. He stepped closer, putting his hand on the aspen that Rin had hugged moments ago. Rin could smell his scent, a mixture of wood smoke and cinnamon. "Is this tree special to you?"
Rin saw that he meant it as a sincere question and something inside her softened.
"All trees are special to me," she said, because it was the truest thing she could ever say.
And then, out of sheer habit, she studied his face. She noticed the black flecks in the smooth brown of his eyes, and the long eyelashes that framed them, and the freckles that dotted his sun-worn skin, and the way the right side of his mouth went up higher than the left when he smiled. Every one of his features echoed truth. She recalled Isi's words. Conrad told me he thought you were nice. She suddenly realized that her throat felt dry.
Conrad cocked his head to the side. "Say, Rinna, are you alright? You look a bit dazed."
"I…" Rin stood there speechless, a strange warmth spreading from the bottom of her stomach ending in a flush to her cheeks. No one ever used her full name.
Conrad was studying her from underneath his lashes, looking amused. Rin felt that it was hard to breathe. What is happening to me? And before she could make any more of a fool of herself, she turned away from him and started to run.
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Catch me if you can!" And then Rin broke out into her signature sprint, half-caring and half-not caring whether Conrad followed.
Then: Oh, what the heck. She took one fleeting glance behind her.
There Conrad stood, leaning against her aspen, twisting his cap in his hands, watching her go as if she had just sprouted wings and decided to fly.
