"A Thousand Miles"
trumpetrulez101
I have no excuses for my absence. I apologize, and hope that my fans will not be mad enough to not review. Also, you might want to listen to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton while you read, for that was the song that inspired this oneshot.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Picture it if you will. A dark stage, but still faintly visible, a string orchestra and a lone female figure. The lights slowly rise on her, and she begins to sing softly, her voice swelling to fill the room. The few onlookers are captivated; drawn to her like a moth to the lone glow in the night of a light on a porch.
"Making my way
downtown Staring
blankly ahead
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the
crowd"
She closes her eyes, yet continues to sing. She remembers.
"No! You can't leave me! I...I...I love you." She whispers to the boy, as it dawns on her that he is actually leaving.
"I don't want to, but it's my duty. I'm sorry. I love you." He murmurs, bending low, letting his lips brush hers once more before he makes his way to the gate.
She cries out, her hand stretching out for his, the raw emotion shining in her eyes.
He turns at her strangled cry. Turquoise meets mocha, and the world freezes as they look at each other. She runs and hugs him tightly, tears spilling over, though she fights them as hard as she possibly can.
"Don't cry, please don't cry!" He pleads, taking her hand. She looks down, trying to not meet his eyes because she knows the tears show weakness, and he hates weakness.
"The war will be over soon, and I'll come home safe. We'll be married, and never be apart again. That I promise." He murmurs, hugging her tightly to his chest. She nods, choking back more tears, and kisses him gently. A tap interrupts the embrace, and he jerks away at the contact.
"I'm sorry, but we're about to take off. You need to board the plane." The flight attendant is ever-polite, but firm. He must go, and she knows this.
He gives her a weak smile, and carefully presses a small envelope into her hand. "Read this once I take off. And not a moment before, Brie. I know that look." He teases gently, trying to coax a smile out of the girl.
She takes the envelope, kisses him, and pushes him lightly towards the gate and the waiting flight attendant. "Go. They need you. I love you so much." She repeats, and he follows orders, disappearing into the gate.
She glances at the envelope, and sits down at a large window to watch the takeoff. She knows she might never see him again. He knows it too. That knowledge scares them both beyond belief, but for the other, they stay strong.
The plane taxis, and after a moment, lifts into the sky. She raises one hand to say goodbye, and it strikes her as ironic that it appears as a salute.
"And
I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder..."
She stands on the stage, tears brimming, as she remembers.
She sits on the couch in their apartment, the envelope resting between her fingers. The edges are worn and frayed, but it remains unopened. She is afraid of this envelope.
She does not know what it contains, what good, or bad, news it holds. This envelope is different from the one he gave her that day at the airport. This envelope is only a week old, while that one is more than a year worn. Neither have been opened, neither have had their secrets spilled to her waiting eyes.
She reaches for the first, newer, envelope. Gently, gingerly, she slides her finger under the seal and pulls from it the folded crisp letter. It's a sharp contrast to the worn tattered envelope, this crisp, clean, official looking sheet of stationary. This also frightens her. It seems everything these days frightens her, without him here to protect and defend.
Unfurling it, she reads. Not more than a moment later, it falls from her grasp with a muffled scream.
Her fears have been realized, and expressed solely in one sheet of crisp stationary. He is missing, and presumed dead.
She cries, cries for her lover, cries for herself. She cries for their future, for their past, and for their present. Their present is currently laying peacefully asleep in a cradle in her bedroom, unaware that their world has just been altered beyond comprehension without a single warning.
"If I could fall It's always times like these
Into
the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know
I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see
you
Tonight
When I think of
you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me
'Cause every thing's so
wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories"
She pauses in the song as the violins saw frantically behind her. Tears are falling now, and the audience can feel the pain and love behind her words.
Still crying, she moves from the couch to her bedroom. Lying in the keepsake box her father carved for her is the first letter.
Fearfully, she lifts it from the wooden enclosure, and sits down on the bed to read once more.
The envelope opens easily, practically crumbles beneath her terrified fingertips. She withdraws the letter, written not on crisp stationary, but on loose leaf college ruled notebook paper. The edges are worn and tearing slightly at her touch. Gingerly, she unfolds it, careful to not tear it more than time has done so already.
"My dearest Gabriella,
Before I leave, I want you to know that I love you...I know I've said it before...but I want you to know that I mean it. I want you to know that I care about you, and I miss you every time I think about leaving...it's like an old movie, only this is real. I want you to know that I'll miss you, and I want you to grasp the sincerity of what I'm saying. Love is the only thing I never bullshit. This might not be the most life changing thing you've ever heard, but it comes from my heart...from my heart and nowhere else; no brainstorming, no quotes, no research...just love...I'll remember you when I'm gone, and I know I'll cry every time I do...and hopefully I'll see you again whether its on earth, or if I see you again in Heaven...so...I guess that's all I can really say...except, once more...I love you, and I'll never forget you."
I'll be seeing you,
Troy
She is sobbing now, sprawled across their bed, sobbing for everything they were and everything they could have been. The baby awakes with a yawn, and she gathers her child in her arms, still crying. Tears spill down her face as she rocks her daughter gently, trying to coax her back to sleep. With another yawn, the infant falls back into a deep slumber. Carefully, she sets the child down and begins to cry again. Tearfully, she clutches a pillow, and uses it to muffle her sobs.
'Cause I need you If I could fall
And I
miss you
And now I wonder...
Into the
sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd
walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
And
I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I,
I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't..."
She breaks off mid-song, and the orchestra covers for her. "I need you." She whispers to the night, and shaking her head, continues her heartsong.
She sits with a grief counselor, the baby by her side in the chair. Her eyes have been dulled by pain and grief, everything in her seems to have lost its vigor.
"If he is dead, I don't deserve to be remembered by him." Gabriella whispered dully, clutching the small pillow to her chest, as more tears spilled out.
"Darling, we both know that's not true."
"I just...I want to hold him one last time. I want to be able to tell him that he's changed me in ways he couldn't even imagine. That I love him, and tell him he's my everything, and he's made me so happy, there aren't even words. I'm so proud of him, and his friends love him very much. I'd walk a thousand miles, more, a million miles, if it would mean he'd be in my arms for just a few moments more. He's taught me so much, and I'll never forget him as long as I'm alive. I love you Troy Bolton." She murmurs, crying again.
"Making
my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home
bound"
As
she continues blatantly singing through her tears, she can feel
something inside her trembling. "Staring blankly
ahead And I still need you
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
And I still miss you
And now I
wonder..."
"What would it be like to die?" she asks her counselor bluntly. The woman looks up in surprise.
"Dear, if you feel suicidal-"
"I don't." She cuts her off. "I just want to know what it would feel like. Would God forgive me for the mortal sin of suicide? Would I get to Heaven, and see him again?"
"I really don't think-"
"I need to know. Because if I have the opportunity to be with him now, then what's stopping me."
It didn't come out as a question, and she knows it. It wasn't a question, it was more of a statement, declaring that if she really wanted to, she could end it right now. End all the pain, grief, and suffering. It wouldn't be hard; they sold guns everywhere, or she could overdose. Who would know?
"Think of your daughter." This comes as a jolt. She thinks about her daughter. The daughter Troy never got to love, hold, or even meet. She hadn't known she was pregnant at their goodbyes, and communication was strictly off limits. It wasn't fair to father or daughter, that they never got to meet.
"I
have something to live for." she whispers faintly, holding her
baby girl, crying again. If
I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us
by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
The song plays on, and the trembling in her grows stronger. Still, the haunting melody comes forth and pours over, expanding and twisting to fill the room. Her face is slightly twisted as she sings; she is fighting the tears that always emerge when she thinks of him.
If
I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me
by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you..."
She gasps; the trembling has grown to a pain, striking at her heart.
A light fills the room, the source, an opening door. Instinctively she turns towards it, the tremors becoming a burn as she looks at the figure in the door, his face blocked by the beams of light coming in, and the darkness spilling out.
But she doesn't need to see his face. The pain in her heart tells her what she needs to know.
With a cry, she leaps off the stage, running, and collides with him. He lifts her up, embracing her over and over again.
"If
I could
Just...hold you...
Tonight"
The end. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Troy's letter to Gabriella was written by a friend to his girlfriend, tweaked a little for my purposes. Please do not use without permission. Gabriella's spiel in the counselor's office is the reply to my friend's letter, please do not use. Thank you so much.
I heart you.
xoxoxoxoxo
Trumpetrulez101