Me: Wait a second, what is this? I don't write things like this!
Loki: Then kindly explain this atrocity!
Clint: I think it's hilarious.
Loki: Well, I certainly don't!
Clint: The readers agree with me...
Loki: No, they don't!
Me: If you guys would shut up, we could just let them decide for themselves...
Clint: Please. by all means, readers, read on.
Their father had never looked this angry before and quite frankly it frightened Thor a little to look at Odin now, to where he sat on his throne, glaring down at Loki as the disgraced god knelt before him in chains. The two brothers had only returned to their home planet a few weeks ago following the Battle of Manhattan, and now the three were alone in the throne room so that Loki could receive his sentencing from the king.
Odin's first words surprised Thor as the gray-haired man said to Loki, almost lovingly, "I still think of you as my son, despite all that you've done."
Loki glared heatedly and rolled his eyes, but even he knew when not to open his mouth. Further agitating the man who was about to sentence him was not a good idea.
Odin continued, "But you simply will not learn your lesson, my son. This is not the first time that you have attacked earth, and something must be done to make you understand what you are doing and the consequences of it. Something drastic, I'm afraid. So I've decided to send you back to Earth – to New York – as a mortal, stripped of your powers that you may see and live with the devastation that you have caused. Furthermore, I want you to see the very heart of that devastation within those who you hurt the most. I've received word that since you and your brother returned to Asgard, the Avengers have began living as a group in the home of Anthony Stark; I want you to live with them – under Thor's watchful eye, of course – and hopefully living as a human will help you rediscover whatever sliver of humanity is still within yourself. I want you to serve these people – particularly the one Clint Barton – until I deem you as having learned your lesson."
"They won't allow it, Father," Thor said, not wanting to contradict but knowing that he must tell Odin what he believed to be the truth. "They don't need another manservant; Tony Stark already has a rather complicated one within his home."
Odin narrowed his eyes at Loki, giving Thor's word some thought until he finally nodded, having come to another decision. "As you wish; there shall be no second manservant. A second spell is required, then, beyond taking away Loki's powers."
Loki's eyes widened as he realized what Odin meant to do to him, and suddenly he was on his feet and trying to run. A forceful beam shot out of Odin's hand, and Loki fell flat on the marble floor, groaning with the sudden agony the pain of that blow would bring to a mortal – and a mortal his brother has just become, Thor realized.
The next instant, he realized what Loki already had – what Odin's second spell was to be – in the same moment that Odin cast the spell on his brother.
And in the moment after that, Thor wasn't staring in wide-eyed disbelief at his older brother… but at his… sister.
"This is so stupid!" Loki raged the next day as he… she… walked the streets of New York beside his –her – brother. "I should not have to suffer through being this way, I certainly should not have to 'serve the Avengers,' and I most certainly should not have to serve Clint Barton."
Thor, walking beside her but completely unable to do more than glance at his… sister… ground out, "Keep talking and my dagger will make sure that you don't have to."
The rage in Loki's tone was nothing new to him, but the absolute femininity of said tone was going to take some getting used to.
"You think that piece of metal will hurt me?" Loki scoffed.
"As a mortal, yes," Thor answered, giving Loki – dressed in the clothing of an American man – a sidelong glance.
Loki growled as they took a turn off of the sidewalk and started up the ridiculously long drive to Tony Stark's Avengers Tower.
"Behave," Thor ordered. "You're not invincible anymore."
"Speaking of which, here's another thought: is it really a good idea for me to be living in the same house as your Agents Barton and Romanov if I'm so vulnerable? When they find out who I am, I'm dead. Surely you don't want that for me, do you, brother?"
Loki looked over at him, a glimmer of real fear in her eyes, and Thor was deeply startled by the thought that this female version of Loki had pretty eyes as he said, "Of course not."
"So we lie to them then."
It hadn't been phrased as a question, but Thor knew that he could still veto the idea if he wanted to. The only problem was that, like Loki, he didn't see any other way for the time being, so he nodded grudgingly.
"I can be one of the poor wretches whose home was destroyed by the battle," Loki said, beginning to spin a back story for the mortal woman that she had become. "You're around earthlings more than I; what is an inconspicuous female name that I might adopt? I can't tell them my name is Loki, obviously."
Thor thought for a second in silence before answering, "Lucy."
"Lucy… Saint," Loki decided.
Thor laughed bitterly before he could catch himself, repeating, "Lucy Saint."
"You found me wandering the streets upon your return to earth once you had delivered Loki back to Asgard," Loki-Lucy said, continuing to come up with her story. "And of course you thought of your noble friends the Avengers when you realized that I needed a place to stay. They would never turn away a homeless mortal woman."
"And how does that lead to you completing the 'serving them – particularly Clint Barton' part of your sentence?" Thor asked, not feeling as testy as he had a moment ago.
"If I must, of course, I'll work for my keep here, you worthless oaf. You'll see, I'll make it work to dear Daddy's satisfaction."
Thor raised his eyebrows, finally looking "Lucy" straight in the eyes as he answered while ringing the doorbell of Avengers Tower, "You must if you want to get back to normal."
Loki sighed, and Thor knew that she was feeling totally trapped into following their father's orders since she was sans powers, immortality, and even her normal gender, as she answered, "For that, I shall do whatever it takes."
"Even become a powerless slave to the man who wants to kill you more than anyone else in all the Nine Realms?"
"Shut up, ninny."
Thor didn't like this situation for his brother - sister, but at that moment even he had to smile a little at it. Since he had – unbeknownst to Loki… Lucy – talked to Clint only hours after the sentencing and explained the situation to the archer, he had a feeling that Clint was going to do the impossible and unsettle Lucy even more once she was in his care. And Thor had decided that might just be interesting to watch…
Many thanks to IntoTheWilds for talking through this one with me multiple times! Reviews are my new best friend if you want to drop me one! Thanks again, guys!:)