Lost Time Memory

A KagePro Fanfiction

Based entirely on the song -Lost Time Memory- composed by Jin/Shizen-no-Teki-P

Used JubyPhonic's Lyrics as reference

I own nothing, and I hope you enjoy

Years have passed by, and I'm always within your shadows. It didn't really mean anything to me. It didn't matter. But why was I so bothered by it? Was it because someone smarter was behind the complete opposite? Feeling like an inferior to the inferior? Was it because that someone was a girl instead? But isn't it always 'Ladies First'?

It was so stressing. So much thoughts. If I could, I would just draw them all my thoughts away in my mind. But if I did, then the only thing stuck in my mind would be the hazy figures of a boy and a girl, in front of the orange sun down the hilly road ahead of us. It was just really...so hazy. No, the figures I meant. Why? Who were they? What are they looking for?

"Hey! Weren't you listening to me?" Oh, her again. So annoying!

"Shintaro! I said, were you listening?" She asked again. Would she stop? I heard her already! Goddammit! Her name is Ayano Tateyama, and apparently, a good friend of mine. But she's just so annoying. She had brown hair that was always tugged into her red scarf, with her left fringe clipped with two red parallel matching clips.

"Why don't you butt out?!" I yelled at her. She's just really annoying, I had to. She would shut up if I told her that, but I said something else.

She hadn't said anything. Had she finally shut up? But had I remembered she was holding my hand?!

"Disappear and never come back!" I brushed off the hand that held mine, the hand that had always helped me. I didn't want to see her.

"I won't leave you, Shintaro!" She firmly yelled, grabbing the hand I had held back earlier. She really didn't want to leave me alone, now did she?

"You're annoying!" I yelled back, taking back my own hand, as I moved away to walk away, never even bothering to look back as I leave you all alone in the sunset.

I didn't have to bother with you,

But...

"Was it the real...you that...I knew...?"

I had apparently learned my lesson. I don't need to change anymore. Ugh! I was so stupid! Just let me...rot away here, my life is still going on, there's nothing to live for! If I can't die here, then a time machine turning back to that day would be nice!

But, to be honest, I'm afraid of dying. I just...have high hopes for "maybe someday", as I call it. But I know that I am never to see you again.

Was I exaggerating the thought of dying? Because I can't wonder why I feel like I wanna die. Wanna die is what I can hear. I held the same hand you held, cursing it to hell as I sat here on my chair, in front of my computer.

I can't do anything, now can I? Then would I live my life, I mean, I'm still alive and breathing you know. Would I see her again in my midsummer dreams? Or would I see the younger me that I was playing before you flew free?

Or back in the days where I hid in that haze, slowly running, and burning in my brain?

That's so stupid.

I'm 18, and a boy no longer. I'm a man now, not some goddamn boy! And all I can do is wait for her- would she fall from somewhere?

But I can't think about that.

Those figures are really stuck in my mind, why? How?

Those figures that where blurring in that hazy sun, in that summer.

I remember that smile from ear to ear she had, it resounds in my brain.

I remember when you said, "Why don't we play a game?" when we were fighting the sun in the school grounds. Oh how I remember when it was we were scorched in that blazing sun. Oh I was exaggerating.

"Are you okay?" The little blue cyber-virus on my desktop asked. How did she even get here, I thought back again. I had opened an email with an attachment, and she suddenly appeared. That blue pigtails, that blue-cyan eyes, her oversized blue jacket and her white skirt, and cybernetic legs. Ene. That was her name, Ene. I don't know much about her, she just reminds me of you somehow. Annoying.

I lied back on my bed, taking a small rest for now at least. She then said with a smile, "You act so sad," she was right. No. I am sad, "...But it's all just an act in the end."

Was she right? Everything I feel is just an act? That I'm not truly sad, and that it was an act in the end, this entire time? I wouldn't know, you wouldn't understand.

I turned on my phone, and checked today's weather report. It didn't matter to be honest, but, today's a haze. Haze. I better become apathetic.

Are you keeping up? Oh, I had yesterday, why didn't you?

I snuggled into my pillows, trying to take a nap. But I can't. I don't ever, ever, want your heat to live like in my sleep.

Would I dream? What if I wouldn't? That means...you and me...we will be...

Never mind, I'd just rather hold the past than to let go. I shouldn't wake up, I might break down.

I can't go out, the world rejected me. I can't really do anything about it. What was I to do then?

"Oh but master, you can't see the day break again without tomorrow."

Hmph. As if I would even care in the slightest.

Days, days, days! Oh I wasted my time, I ran all through this arid days. I'd kill those days so they'd go away!

Yes, right! I'd rather be all alone!

I'm 18, and I'm kind no longer. I cried to god, but, I just can't get stronger. Ah, those hands...why?! Why can't I hold your hand any longer?!

That smile, why can't I see it again?! I can't take it!

I'm in such a small town, the sun and I are fighting, how I hate that sun!

"Oh god why can't you free me somehow?!"

Suddenly...

...every sigh I tried to breathe...

...was stopping now.

"Can you hear me?"

A voice is calling out, but, it's disappearing. It rung in my head so many times, until somehow it's now clear.

This is just another midsummer night dream.

But, this time instead, I reach out a hand through the haze.

Would I finally see you again? Would I see you again?

I cried to god, I'm no any stronger, and I'm no man- I'm just a boy.

The so many hazy days, I stood there, no falter. That summer smile I won't remember,

No,

It's stays the same forever.

And there she was.

Ayano Tateyama.

That annoying brunette I missed so much, and loved so much.

Why, where had she been?!

"Guess I died. I'm sorry."

A small goodbye's way too sad, and too lonely.

No-

God no-

Don't say you're leaving me again!

"Ayano!

"Don't leave me!"

I finally know those hazy figures,

Were just all this entire time,

Were just me.

Ayano Tateyama,

And Shintaro Kisaragi.