A/N: I'm so sorry, I haven't updated anything since i got home because this story was deleted (for no reason) and so my account was locked. I haven't been able to do anything until now, so i wanted to re-post this story.
Disclaimer: i don't own harry potter, nor do i claim to.
The Diary Fight Returns.
2am, our dorm. The day that we went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays.
James, couldn't you just have written 'At Hogwarts after the holidays'? Instead of the millions of words that you wrote?
I didn't write millions of words. Just get over it.
I don't want to.
Sirius! Build a bridge and get over it!
No.
I'm ignoring you now. New topic.
…
Oh my god, I am so full. Why are the feasts so good all the time?
I don't know. Don't ask me.
You should know! You're the food freak!
Since when am I a food freak?
Since… I don't know. Just shut up Padfoot.
I don't want to shut up.
Just shut up Padfoot.
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes Padfoot, shut your pie-hole!
No I will not be silenced! I am here to stand up for the rights of… hang on, what were we talking about?
I don't remember, food probably.
Yes well, food is a popular topic in our conversations.
That and Lily, quidditch, other girls and Lily
You already mentioned Lily.
I did not!
Uh, yeah you did prongs, you said her name twice.
Shut up Wormtail.
Sorry,
Can you guys just be quiet and go to sleep? We have a potions test tomorrow.
Geez, party pooper.
Yeah. Fun sucker
I'm not a fun sucker, but you guys were all so energetic and stuff on the train, and I am so tired.
Whatever. Fine we'll go to sleep.
…
Padfoot!
You rang?
No I didn't. I called you.
Build a bridge and get over it.
Hey! That's my saying!
So, build a bridge and get over it.
Shut up! That's my saying!
Build a bridge and get…
Why don't you both shut up?
Why don't you build a bridge and…
Just shut it both of you!
Just shut it both of you!
Don't repeat what I said.
Don't repeat what I said.
Wormtail shut up.
Wormtail shut up.
…
Oi! Padfoot!
What?
Shut up!
I didn't say anything
You're snoring.
Again.
No, no, you must be thinking of someone else. Maybe it's Peter, because The Great, Amazing, Sirius Black does not snore.
The Great Amazing Sirius Black? That's me!
Or not.
Yeah, Sirius you shouldn't lie.
I'm not listening to you. By the way, my new name is G.A.S.B
What is that?
Great, Amazing, Sirius Black. Derr.
I don't think so.
Me neither.
Hmm.
What's with the hmm?
Hmm.
Okay.
Hmm.
Right, you three are so strange.
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Oh my god.
Okay we'll shut up now.
…
I LOVE LILY EVANS!
Hmm.
Shut up Wormtail we're over that now.
Hmm.
Shut up. We already built a bridge and got over that, so shut up wormboy!
I'm bored, it's now 2:30m and it doesn't look like we're going to get much sleep at all.
Hey what happened with you and Ellie?
We're back together.
I'm bored. Remus you're fat.
What?
I'm bored, so we're going to do fat jokes.
Count me out then.
James you're fat.
Well, you're an elephant
No, you're heavy
You're a one tonne monster
Nuh uh. You are obese.
You're so fat that you put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean and used it as a waterbed.
Haha! That's such a good one. I'm gonna use that!
You're so fat that when you…
James, we're over that now.
Okay then. Nuh-night.
Night.
Hmm.
Wormtail! Stop with the 'hmm'! Just go to sleep.
Good night.
Sleep tight; don't let the bedbugs bite!
Euurgh, I hate that expression.
…
10am, Tuesday morning, January 2nd. Gryffindor dorm.
Did the bed bugs bite you?
Shut up, I said I hate that expression.
But they did bite me!
Eww, too much information.
It's too early to be awake.
It's ten o'clock.
We missed breakfast, and half of potions. We're going to get a detention now guys.
Oh well.
It's still too early.
Have any of you guys ever gone to France?
Yes. Yes. Yep!
Why?
Because Hogwarts is doing an exchange thing and I might be going on it. My parents think it would be a good idea.
Yes, but your parents also think that James and I are a bad influence, so obviously they're crazy.
Derr.
My parents aren't nuts!
Peter, they think that we are a bad influence on you, of course they're nuts.
Oh, okay.
And his mother wears horizontal stripes with polka dots. I mean, hello? Where is your fashion sense?
Sirius, how long have you been gay?
What? I'm not gay.
Then why did that sentence sound very very gay?
It didn't sound gay.
Yes it did.
No it didn't
Yes it did
No it didn't times infinity
Yes it did times infinity plus one!
No it didn't time infinity plu---
Don't start that again, I'm sick of the diary fights, you've had like a million since we came back to school.
Nuh uh. That's a lie. Lying is bad. Build a bridge and get over the diary fights, they're fun.
STOP USING MY SAYING PADFOOT!
IT'S NOT YOURS.
STOP WITH THE MILLIONS OF DIARY FIGHTS.
You shouldn't lie Remus. Your nose will grow really long, like that Peanut dude.
Pinocchio?
That's the one!
a/n: there's the first chapter, please review! Because when it was deleted, all the reviews were deleted too, so please review!
signing out,
pinocchio.