Dreaming
by knuckz
Jaune dreams of her, but over time, his dreams have changed. One-shot.
i
He first remembers love. He remembers their kiss, the unspoken words she meant for him, his realization of his feelings for her. Too late, always too late Jaune.
He dreams of the future they could have had, he sees what could have been; the love, the intimacy, the throes of passion. Her lips on his as if welded together, the tenderness of her embrace, the heat of her breath on his skin. He can see her arms around his neck, the playful smile on her face as she teases him, slowly divesting him of his clothes. The absolute need he has for her as he abandons all sense of propriety, of knighthood, and takes her with conviction. The pure ecstasy and smoldering affection on her face as she reciprocates perhaps even more aggressively.
I love you Jaune.
This is his happiness.
Suddenly, nothing else matters. He can be a failure as a Huntsman, the joke of his class. He doesn't need the respect or admiration of a hero. It doesn't matter that he's a disappointment to the Arc family name, that he's weak. All that matters is that he has her. That she loves him. She loves him. It washes away everything else because it's more than enough.
It's all he'll ever need and never have.
ii
He then remembers their friendship. Pyrrha Nikos, the Invincible Girl, graduated top of her class at Sanctum and four-time winner of the Mistral regional tournament and her partner, Jaune Arc who graduated from nowhere, won nothing, and cheated his way into Beacon.
They're sitting side-by-side as always, waiting on the next combatant to be called.
He had lost again. All the training they did and he still lost. It was close, Jaune, you've come so far, you fought well, she would reassure him. As the next fighter went up, they heard a snide comment, another chink in his armor as he clenched his fist in frustration. Her cool, gentle hand would rest atop his fist, working it open until she touched her palms to his.
Ignore them, Jaune, she'd say, You'll rise above us all, so much conviction in her voice, I see more in you than the rest of them do.
How do you know? he asked.
Because I know you. You're my friend, and I believe in you, she would say.
He smiled at her, perhaps not believing in himself like she seemed to, but his spirits were lifted.
This was the friendship they had, not a passionate love but a love nonetheless. Something they shared together, with Ren and Nora, with RWBY.
It wasn't the love he dreamt of before, but even this was more than enough.
This is what he needs and can never have.
iii
He remembers his failure, the biggest failure of his life. More scared for his own wretched life than that of his friends and family, of the city and people he had sworn to protect. Ozpin may have lost but there she was, willing to stand up for what was right and what was needed when all he wanted to do was run.
Then she'd come down from that tower, perhaps beaten and bruised but victorious. A brave hero unlike him.
She'd look down at him with disappointment and disgust, seeing him for the loser he was. She would keep her distance, no longer in love with him, no longer wanting to be his friend, his partner.
Maybe he'd have to step down from JNPR, stay away from them. Maybe everyone would think of him as a failure, maybe she'd think of him as a coward. Perhaps she wouldn't ever love him, think of him as a friend, or even forgive him.
But she'd be alive and that's more than enough for him.
It may hurt but even this is something he needs, but will never have.
iv
She didn't survive. She's not back, she's not alive. Just let him hear her voice, her laughter one more time. See her amazing and vibrant red locks, her green eyes that he could get lost in, see her smile just one last time. It's more than enough.
It's all he needs… and it will never happen ever again.
v
Ruby shook him awake as lightly as she could, but he was a light sleeper now.
"Morning, Jaune," she said smiling at him, "It's time to go. Pleasant dreams I hope?"
Jaune slowly rose and smiled back at her.
"Yeah."
It was torture.
fin
AN:
So I did a thing.
Don't worry guys, she'll be back. Yes, Cinder killed her with the arrow, turned her into glass and blew her apart into tiny sparkling shards. But I'm sure she'll be back.
What do you mean have I heard of the word 'denial'? Does it have anything to do with Pyrrha coming back? Because if not then I don't care.
Let me know what you think.
knuckz
PS: I'm working on a full length story for RWBY. Look out for it.