AN: Surprise, surprise I'm still alive. Got good news and bad news. Bad news is that I'm a dumb ass that uses fanfiction's document manager to save my stories and I lost chapter 10 of Korra Doesn't Like Fanfiction. Since I don't feel like rewriting the chapter right now I'm going to give you guys a new story to say sorry for not updating for so long. I was originally planning on writing this as a longer chapter in KDLF, but the order wouldn't be right so I'm leaving it as a one shot. Hope you guys enjoy.
"It's been two days."
"I know Bo."
"We're running out of food."
"I KNOW Bolin."
"Shit Mako. Bolin's right you know. We can't stay on this roof forever." Asami continued to wipe down the sword she found. They managed to barricade the door from those things, but now they were completely trapped. The sporting goods store they were holed up in was completely surrounded, if they tried to escape they would be overwhelmed.
"Alright I got a plan guys." Mako picked up his baseball bat. "There is a fire escape at the side of the building, but those things are blocking the alleyway. Grab anything you can find that makes a lot of noise. We're gonna lean over the edge and make as much noise as we can, that way we can lead them around the building away from the fire escape. Once we get them all to one side of the building, we make a run for the fire-"
"YO MAKO!"
"What the hell?" Mako leaned over the edge. "KORRA?!" She was standing across the street from them, sipping her coffee and waving at them.
"Yep. What are you guys doing up there? I haven't seen you in like 4 days!"
"Get off the street Korra!" The monsters were starting to take notice of her.
"What?"
"Get the hell off the street!"
"You know what? I can barely hear your ass, I'm coming up!" Korra charged her way through the horde and kicked down the front door to the store.
"Seriously, how the hell did she survive so long?"
"No idea Asami."
Korra opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. "Is it just me or have homeless people become really persistent lately?"
"Homeless people?!" Mako screamed. "THERE ARE MONSTERS OUT THERE!"
"Shit really?" She took another sip of her coffee. "Well that explains why I had to make my own macchiato at the Starbucks. I knew those homeless people looked way too hungry. I was just standing there going all 'What the hell? There is literally a soup kitchen two blocks from here.' and everything. So what's goin' on?"
"We don't know what happened," Bolin added. "But for some reason dead people are coming back to life."
"You mean zombies right?"
"What?"
"C'mon people, they're zombies. I don't know why you guys keep dancing around the word. They're fucking zombies."
Mako pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can we please stop talking about what to call those things-"
"Zombies."
"Whatever. We need to find a way to get out of here."
"Okay you guys get on that. I'm gonna finish my coffee."
"Are you kidding me right now? You're a part of this group now and you need to help us."
"Pssh, who made you leader? Last time I checked I was the main character."
"Well fine then! How are we gonna get out of this, Leader?"
She finished her coffee and tossed the empty cup to the street below. "Well...as Leader of this zombie survival group, I understand that it is my responsibility to listen to the concerns of it's members. So this group will act as a democracy that considers the opinions and ideas of each member." She paused to make eye contact with all of them. "Except for cases when it is convenient for me to not listen to any of you. So the current plan of action is that I'm gonna let you guys brainstorm. If the plan you bozos come up with is stupid, I will immediately shut down your decision and go with my own plan that will most likely put all four of us in extreme danger, but will look really cool while we are doing it."
"You are absolutely useless."
"Guys look!" Bolin shouted. "It's a helicopter! WE'RE SAVED!"
"NO! For the love God, DO! NOT! SIGNAL! THAT! CHOPPER!"
"Why not?"
"IS A MAIN CHARACTER PILOTING THAT HELICOPTER?!" She grabbed Bolin by the shirt and started shaking him. "When was the last time you have EVER seen a helicopter pilot survive a zombie movie?! How about a helicopter pilot surviving a zombie game? Hell, when have you seen a helicopter pilot survive any game? NEVER THAT'S WHEN!" She was interrupted by a giant explosion down the street. She dropped Bolin and pointed to the remains of the gas station.
"See that giant fireball? That could have been us Bolin."
"How was I supposed to know that was gonna happen?"
"I swear it's like you guys have never seen a zombie movie before. Hey Asami, how are we doing on that escape plan."
"Well Mako suggested that we-"
"Oookay I'm gonna stop you right there. Asami, you and Bolin should know better than to listen to Mako. Have you guys considered using the front door?"
"We can't go through the front door. It's packed with those monsters."
"Zombies Mako! They're freaking zombies."
"Whatever. there are dozens of those things down there, we would never make it."
Korra rubbed her temples in frustration. "Okay...Mako, Bolin. I know this is going to sound crazy, but have you two considered Using your bending?"
Both of them were speechless.
"Oh. Wow. You two are just...precious. And how long have you been stuck up here?"
"Two days." Mako mumbled.
"Really?!"
"...Yeah."
"...Really?"
"YES!"
"Damn Mako, you aren't very good at this are you? Now I can understand if Asami would have a hard time surviving the zombie horde but c'mon, look at her. She's got a bitchin' sword so you know she is ready to go all Michonne on their asses. But you two should know better." Korra stomped her foot and earth bent a staircase that led down to the street.
"Alright losers, we are gonna take the staircase down to street level and fight our way through the zombies. Then we are gonna head downtown to the Winchester, have a pint and wait for all of this to blow over."
"Shouldn't we try to find a secluded building and barricade ourselves, or try to escape the city?"
"Nope. Winchester. The only way I can deal with zombies and your stupidity Mako is if I'm drunk."
"I still think it's a bad plan."
"You know what Mako? All of your whining is making you sound like a jerk. And we all know what happens to jerks in zombie movies."
"Alright! I'll shut up. But wouldn't it be safer if we used the rooftops to get downtown instead?"
"He's got a point Korra. Going at street level seems kind of dangerous."
"Hell no. Remember what I said earlier. As group leader, I have the right to overrule any plans you guys come up with and use one of my own plans that will make us look awesome while fighting zombies. Watch this." Korra stomped her foot and sent a zombie flying into the side of a building.
"You are seriously telling me that you would rather take a boring walk on some rooftops instead of launching zombies, cutting them in half and setting them on fire?"
Bolin raised his hand. "Yeah, I'm gonna vote for launching zombies."
"You know what? I can totally go for slicing some zombies right now." Korra clapped Bolin and Asami on the shoulders.
"That's the spirit. Now LET'S DO THIS!"
"WOO!"
"FUCK YEAH!" They rushed down the stairs Korra created and left Mako on the rooftop.
"She is really trying to get us all killed, isn't she?" He rubbed his temples. "Screw this. I quit." He followed them down the stairs. If he was gonna die, he might as well die in a pub, because he sure as hell wasn't going to die on that rooftop.
Who knows, maybe they will survive all of this.
AN: ABOUT TIME I POSTED ANOTHER ONE SHOT! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this story that I am posting at 1 am with almost no editing because I have work in the morning. Either way I had fun writing it. Also, in regards to 'Korra Doesn't Like Fanfiction", don't worry I haven't given up on the story, I'm just upset because I lost chapter 10 and can't bring my lazy ass to type up what I had before. I will eventually get around to it, but in the meantime, if I get a sudden bout of inspiration, I will release a little KDLF side story. As usual, I hope you guys enjoyed and let me know what you think in a review.