Gray stared down at the half-asleep Lucy. "Lucy," he whispered. "wake the fuck up. I'm finna have some sex gurl." He used his ice-make magic to make a pair of ice handcuffs and cuff his wrist to Lucy's. "Now we can be together-" he leaned down so his face would touch hers "-forever." He let his cold lips touch Lucy's warm ones. This was the first time he had ever kissed a girl. He didn't know what to do. Gray was confuse.
Her eyes widened slightly. "Gray? You're doing it wrong…" The blonde wrapped her free arm around his neck and pulled him closer to her, thus fully connecting their lips together. Her tongue almost instantly invaded his mouth, and he blushed immediately. His love muscle throbbed *star music begins to play* weakly as a result of this extra attention, and he moved his cuffed hand down to his pants area around his pants.
Lucy's hand closely followed his. She fiddled blindly with his belt buckle before commenting, "Wow, Gray, this is a high-quality belt buckle. From what establishment did you purchase it?"
"Well, actually, Gajeel made it for me," Gray replied while examining the metal dragon slayer's fine craftsmanship. "He's really good at making belts...and shirts."
"Uh, why would you ever even need a shirt?" Lucy asked.
Gray shook his head. "Don't mess with my mind like that, Lucy. You know why your hand is down here." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and moved her hand down his boxers.
Lucy was shocked at what she felt.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Gray was completely fucking flat. No joke. He was like a fucking ironing board.
"Gray what the-mfhmrmph!" was all Lucy could say before half a dozen trains emerged from out of his boxers and started circling the hotel room. "Choo choo," he whispered in her ear as more miniature trains emerged from his pants.
Every little train whistled quietly as Gray rubbed his nothingness up against Lucy. "Do you like trains?" he asked while rubbing himself against her faster and faster.
"I-" She knew what would come if she finished the sentence. Embracing her fate as tears formed in her eyes, Lucy whispered, "I...I like trains."
All of a sudden, a derailed train started speeding towards their hotel room. The blonde stared at the train in fear and Gray speed up his rubs until he finally achieved the ultimate train-gasm. The train crashed into them.