Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

The Reason Behind It All

By: TF

(one-shot)

She knew by the pitying looks being cast her way that Inuyasha had once again run off to have an evening rendezvous with his ever-affectionate clay pot. Kagome wasn't stupid. She knew that every time the wind blew in that particular way and the surrounding landscape grew silent that the dead priestess was near. Shippo would wrinkle his nose at the smell of death, Sango would look angry, and Miroku would sigh with irritation as Inuyasha made some stupid excuse to leave while Kagome was either sleeping, bathing, or returning from the walk she had taken in order to cool the anger directed at the unfortunate hanyou.

Every time he left something within her constricted, balling up within her chest as she fought to smile normally and do more than just pick at her meal. She had given up on sleeping long ago on nights such as these, but she hadn't given up pretending for the sake of the others. If she at least stretched out in her sleeping bag, settled Shippo in, and closed her eyes the others would relax and settle in themselves. Only after the fire started to burn low and she could hear everyone else's even breathing would she open her eyes and stare into the surrounding darkness, contemplating her stupidity.

She knew it was stupid to stick with him when he left her, when he would never love her the way she loved him, not with his divided loyalties. Logic had long ago lost its part of the battle in her mind and now only rested on the sidelines, occasionally reminding her not to do something stupid.

A clay pot. A freaking clay pot. How could he just run off to a dead person when he had someone alive and warm and caring and who didn't try to kill him every chance she got! Seriously, was the boy stupid? But she knew that, in a way, it only made him a better person. He was loyal and brave and strong and determined to make things right even if it (eventually/probably/most likely) killed him.

She couldn't explain why she chose to stay with him, always at his side, when he kept running off like a puppy to its master. She couldn't explain in words why compliments hidden in insults made her smile more than any of Kouga's bold flatter. She couldn't explain why she felt worse away from him than she did just standing near.

She really had two options: call him on it and possibly lose his friendship and protection and ruin their relationship by making him chose her over the pot, or let things go along as they had been, keeping their relationship alive and flourishing and happy as best she could. Neither was simple, but sticking around was better than not having him at all.

There was a low rustle in the tree leaves overhead, then a muted thump as his bare feet hit the ground. Kagome didn't even bother to close her eyes, he would hear the irregular rhythms of her heartbeat caused by the mild surprise of his arrival. For a moment he was still (looking over the camp, she assumed) then he sighed softly in her direction and took up his usual look out position in a nearby tree about a dozen or so feet off of the ground.

She smiled softly at his arrival and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall into the arms of sleep that had been held at bay by her worry. Of course he would come back, he always did. But she still worried. And she still stuck around. And she always would (or at least she would come back after all of their fights).