Welcome to the new Wednesday night story!
Legal: I own nothing but the idea. This fic chapter contains trigger warnings.
Important to know before reading:
*Takes place a week or so after Ray of Light
*Drew never proposed to Bianca but they are still dating and therefore Vegas never happened so Jatie is still together
*A good portion of Clare's pov is a flashback to earlier that night, everything in the flashback is written in past tense and in italic
Okay that should do it but I will warn you this first chapter is pretty intense!
Ch.1 Promise Me Heaven then Put Me Through Hell
(CLARE)
I lie on the ground, curled up in the dirt and grass, I'm shaking, my whole body shivers and it has nothing to do with the late night winds howling through the trees. There's no light down here, there's no moon tonight, the land I'm lying on is all in shadow. I'm still crying I haven't stopped crying, my tears come out in a never ending stream soaking the ground beneath my broken body and staining the ground with my pain. I take a deep painful breath and slowly force myself up, I try to stop crying, to choke in the rest of my tears but I can't they keep coming, I do however manage to stand. It hurts to walk, to move at all, I don't see my panties or my shoes, my dress is ripped, torn almost in half and I hold it closed as I start making my way home. My purse and coat are still in Bryce's car, I'm several kilometers from home and not even entirely sure where I am. As I walk home barefoot, bleeding and beaten I think of how my night ended up here a night that started out with romance and promises of good things to come became a night from hell. How my date who seemed like a prince turned out to be cruel, selfish, conniving and the worst kind of demon.
It all started this morning when I went to my favorite bookstore on Queen Street. I was looking in the antique books, I can't afford them but I like to look at them and that's where I met Bryce, Bryce DeWitt. We were looking at the same book and started talking, he was handsome and tall, his build was slight and muscular like Fitz. He had dark blonde hair, dark blue eyes and sharp features. He was mature, polite and talked intellectually, he made me feel pretty and good about myself in a way I hadn't in a long time, he was sweet and well-spoken and even drove me home in his very expensive car. Mom was thrilled to meet him; he's seventeen like me and attends the prestigious Royal St. George's College, a school for boys whose tuition is very steep. Bryce's family is one of the wealthiest in Canada; his great great grandfather started Canadian National Railway in the 1800s and now they own half of Ontario. Mom was practically drooling over him herself. Even Glen, who rarely shows an interest in me or anything I do, was excited about Bryce, although Bryce did say he would talk to his dad about having Glen be the contractor for their new building. Jake wasn't home to meet him but when Bryce asked me on a date that night my mom was already booking the wedding chapel in her mind, she was thrilled and all too willing to let me go out with him.
Bryce DeWitt happened to be everything I'd pictured in a perfect man, intellectual, mature, worldly, well-spoken, well educated, and even rich. Yeah I know it's pretty shallow and I did plan to have a successful career of my own but I always wanted to be able to travel the world without a care, give to charities and go on exotic adventures. Bryce was sweet, a gentleman and for all the world appeared to be Prince Charming. Bryce told me he'd pick me up at six and left, my mother squealed like a teenager and we immediately went out and bought me a new dress. It was much sexier than the dresses I usually wear, even sexier than what Mom let me wear at her wedding. The dress, which was a deep purple color, had thick spaghetti straps, a plunging sweetheart neckline and black belt around the waist. It came to my knees but the right side had a slit up to my hip. She bought me new black heels, 4 inch ones so that I'd only be a couple inches shorter than Bryce. After all that we got my hair done, by the time we got home I had just enough time to put on makeup and grab my coat before Bryce rang the doorbell. Jake was out with Katie so he didn't meet Bryce but my parents fawned over him again.
"Have fun, her curfew is 2am," Mom told Bryce.
"What? Since when?" I asked as Bryce put my coat over my shoulders.
"I want you to have lots of time to get to know Bryce," Mom replied.
We said goodnight to my parents and Bryce escorted me to his car, a different car than he'd been driving earlier. As we drive to restaurant he tells me he personally owns seven cars, seven! I don't even own one! Of course after he said that I felt like he was bragging and as if he could read my mind he started talking about all the charities they donate too and how his mom went to Africa last year to work with children. So I told him about Darcy being in Africa but leave out why, in retrospect if I'd told him why maybe he would have thought twice before doing what he did that night.
We ate at Stock, a restaurant on the 31st floor of the Trump Tower; you could feed a family in Africa for a month for the price of my meal alone. Over dinner we talked about literature, he told me I should come see their private library sometime. We also talked about world travels, music that we like, our favorite foods and other such things, it turned out we have a lot in common. He wouldn't let me see the bill but I did the math in my head, with appetizers, dinner, dessert and drinks our meal came close to $300, probably over $300 depending on the tip he left.
We were at the restaurant for over two hours and then we got back in his car and went for a drive. He took me to a park, a park I wasn't familiar with but it had a long winding pathway, a fountain and a lot of benches under streetlights where lovers were kissing. He told me to leave my purse in the car and it was a warm night so I didn't need my jacket either. We walked through the park, his arm lightly around my shoulders; he talked about astronomy, pointing out constellations and talking about the solar system. When we reached the far end of the park we sat on a bench, we were alone at this end of the park but I wasn't afraid at all, I was quite relaxed, felt safe even.
Bryce started to kiss me, I kissed him back and we made out a few minutes. Then he tried to fondle me and I told him to stop, for a second he looked angry but he relaxed instantly and suggested we walk some more. I pointed to my chastity ring and told him that I'd made a promise to God not to have sex until marriage. He didn't say anything but we continued walking farther into the park. Then he went off the path and I became nervous, he told me there was a tree with a swing down there and he thought he'd push me on it to make up for being grabby. He sounded so sweet and sincere, I had no reason not to trust him but I wish I'd gone with my instinct. We went down a small hill and into the trees, it was really dark and my heart started to pound. He stopped us as soon as we were under the trees and kissed me, it was soft at first and I kissed him back despite my pounding heart. Then his kiss became hard and he tried to grope me again, I pushed him away and turned to walk back up to the lit path.
"Take me home," I demanded.
He didn't respond but he grabbed my arm and whirled me around, then he shoved me and I tumbled to the ground before I could react, my shoes coming off as I tumbled down the hill. I tried to get up and he kicked me really hard in the side, a sharp pain shot through me and the wind was knocked out of me. While I was curled up and recovering from the blow he ripped my dress and sat on my hips forcing me to my back. After ripping my dress open to expose my bra he moved to my legs and ripped off my panties, I sat up and tried to push him away but he punched me in the face! His fist felt like iron as it connected with the flesh on my right cheek. My entire face went numb and I fall back to the ground stunned by his punch while Bryce forces my legs open.
I don't remember hearing his pants come down but I remember the searing pain that shot through my body when he penetrated me. Like someone stabbing me through my vagina with a hot poker, I remember screaming and that's when I began sobbing. Hot salty tears began flowing from my eyes and they haven't stopped. I closed my eyes at first, trying to let go of my body and escape but the pain was so bad I couldn't. So I opened them, looking into the darkest shadows of the trees, crying and choking on my breaths, hoping that Bryce is done soon. It felt like it was forever, I thought he'd never be done, that I'd be left in this painful, debasing, humiliating hell forever but he finally stopped. He stood up and I heard him fixing his clothes.
"You keep your mouth shut, if you do say anything I'll deny it and say it was consensual. Don't forget my family name, we own every lawyer and every judge. If you even try to say anything I will make sure you're scorned and humiliated and made a fool of," Bryce told me and then he walked away leaving me discarded like a piece of trash in the dirt.
And now here I was barefoot, bleeding, beaten, brutalized and broken. I felt broken, inside and out I was broken, I could feel myself falling apart molecule by molecule. If this is how Darcy felt I'm surprised she didn't unravel faster. I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't think straight all I knew is I had to get home and I was finally able to see a street sign I recognized so I followed the street back to Riverdale and at last reached my house. I must have walked over 8 kilometers, I still can't stop crying and I haven't stopped shaking either but I'm finally home. The house is dark, the porch light is still on but the house is dark. I expect Mom to turn on the light and demand to know where I was but no one is awake when I get home. The clock on the microwave says 4:43, I'm over two hours late and Mom isn't even worried! Maybe it's better that she's not up, I wouldn't know what to tell her if she was.
I tiptoe up to the washroom I share with Jake and turn on the shower, I lock the door, make the water as hot as I can stand it and get in, I don't care that I'm still dressed I just want to be clean. I sit on the floor of the tub my knees bent up, my ankles crossed, my arms around my legs, my head down on my knees and tears that won't stop flowing go with the shower water down the drain. My head is pounding from all the crying but still I can't stop. I let the water flow over me, washing away the dirt and leaves, washing over the bruises and scrapes. When the blood has been washed away and the water is turning cold I turn it off and get out, I don't even grab a towel I just walk to my room, locking the door behind me, even putting a chair against the door. Taking off my wet, soiled and ripped clothes I shove them under my bed. I grab my loosest sleep shirt, crawl into bed and curl up, as my skin begins to dry and now that I'm safely locked in my room my tears finally stop and I fall asleep.
I don't wake up until after two in the afternoon on Sunday, I slept all morning, Mom didn't wake me up for church, she let me sleep. She never does that without trying to wake me up first. I get up slowly, everything hurts, my lower body feels like it's been ripped to shreds, my entire pelvic area burns, my bruises are throbbing and I feel sick, so very sick. I get dressed in a pair of sweats and a loose long sleeve shirt even though it's a warm afternoon. I'm not at all hungry but I'm parched, my throat is scratchy and terribly dry and my head still hurts. I walk downstairs and find my mother in the kitchen; I realize I didn't cover the bruise and begin rapidly thinking of some excuse to give her for the bruise on my face. I haven't seen it yet but I can feel it there.
"Oh honey, oh my you do have a nasty bruise, we'll get some ice on that," Mom says going to the freezer and getting out an ice pack that she wraps in a kitchen towel. "Bryce explained everything," Mom says handing me the ice.
"He did?" I ask but of course he would have built himself a cover story already.
"Yes he came by this morning; he brought us fresh baked pastries from some fancy French café. Anyway Bryce told us how you were walking in the dark park and you tumbled down the hill and hit the rock. Wasn't it so wonderful of him to carry you all the way back to his car?" Mom gushes.
I can't take it; I feel like throwing up, my nails have dug so deeply into my palm that I've drawn blood. I don't want to talk about the rape, I don't want anyone to know and I doubt Mom would believe me if I told her. I don't want to think about it anymore, I just want it to be gone and done with, I never want to think about Bryce again but Mom is talking about him like he's some hero.
"I told Adam I'd come over," I tell Mom setting the ice pack down.
"Alright, oh Bryce brought you flowers along with your purse and jacket, and he wants you to call him, he'd like to take you out again," Mom says.
Now I really want to throw up, the thought of ever being anywhere near Bryce ever again has me sick and shivering again.
"Tell Jake I'm taking the truck," I reply grabbing the truck keys, my purse and cell, slipping on a pair of old flats I keep by the door to go out and get the mail or take out the trash.
"Don't forget to call Bryce," Mom reminds me as I disappear through the door.
I slam the door and jump in Jake's truck, Jake is out back with Glen, they're building a deck extension and BBQ area. I start driving with no real destination in mind; I end up at the abandoned church where we threw the party, where Eli and I used to hang out. I start walking, just wandering through the woods very slowly and walking aimlessly until I start to cry, I sink down on a rock and cry again, I can't believe I can cry more but I can. There's so much pain, fear and disgust inside me I feel like it's going to boil over and explode out. When my phone rings I stop crying, sniffling in my tears and wiping my face even though the person on the phone can't see me, one last deep shuddering breath to steady my voice and I answer the phone.
"Hello?"
"Jake seems to think you're at my house with his truck," Adam says.
"I'll take the truck back," I reply trying not to sound somber but it doesn't work.
"Clare where are you?" Adam asks.
"Don't worry about it, I'll take Jake his truck," I tell him.
"You want to come hang out, everyone's here, well except Eli," Adam comments.
"No thanks, I'll see you at school tomorrow," I respond and hang up.
I walk back to the truck, since moving hurts I didn't wander very far. I drive home and park the truck out front, Jake comes out with a slightly annoyed look on his face that I was out with the truck.
"Geez you really fell hard," Jake remarks looking at the bruise on my face, I'm about to reply but I hear a car and look over to see Adam pulling up. I turn away so he can't see my face; Jake doesn't even ask why Adam is here if I just came from his house.
"C'mon you're coming over," Adam insists taking my hand. I turn to tell him no but he sees the bruise first, "Shit Clare what happened?"
"She fell while on her date last night," Jake informs Adam, guess he met Bryce this morning.
"You got a bruise like that from falling? Wait what date?" Adam questions.
"I fell down a small hill in a dark park," I enlighten Adam but don't tell him about the date; Jake gets in truck and drives off while Adam pulls me to his car.
"You're coming over, everyone's at my place," Adam tells me opening the passenger door.
I get in the car and Adam gets in the driver's side, it's a few short blocks to Adam's house and I see Owen and Bianca's car when we pull up.
(OWEN)
It is Sunday and I am hanging out at Drew's place, Dallas is here because he lives here and Bianca's here because she's dating Drew. Adam's here too but he's Drew's brother and he also lives here. Adam's pretty cool though, I've apologized since throwing him into the door and he forgave me, I've never given him a problem since and we've been cool, maybe not friends but we've been cool. We'd been hanging out most of the afternoon but Adam got a call from Jake who seemed to think Clare was here and then Adam went outside and called Clare. He came back in after calling Clare and sat for a few minute before he left; taking the car he shares with Drew.
"Where's he going?" Dallas asks and we all shrug. Adam wasn't gone that long and he returned with Clare, I knew it was her because of her hair but she looked like she was wearing pajamas, a loose shirt and sweats. They walk in and she sits on the far side of the sofa. "Hey Clare," Dallas nods to her but barely looks from the movie we're watching.
"Fuck what happened to you?!" Bianca exclaims and now we all look over to see Clare's got a deep bruise on her cheek. That part of her face is swollen and purple; it looks like she got punched.
"I fell," she replies quietly but I see her face contort in pain when she moves.
Clare hangs out for a couple of hours, she doesn't say anything or even eat or move, she just sits there watching the movies with us and slowly sipping a bottle of water. At one point I hear her quietly arguing with Adam that she just didn't sleep well but nothing is wrong. Even I don't believe that and I don't know her like Adam does. She says she needs to get home just before six and I figure I should get home for Sunday night family dinner.
"I'll take you Clare," I offer standing up.
"Okay thanks, see you guys tomorrow," Clare says standing up and I hear her suck in a breath as she stands and her face twists in pain again. She follows me out to my car and I open the door for her, an action that earns me a smile.
"You okay?" I ask her when I start driving.
"Fine," she replies looking out the window.
"You look like you've been in pain all night and you're moving really slow," I comment.
"It's from the fall," she tells me.
I'm not sure that I believe her but I don't know her well enough to prod and force her to talk like I do with my brother. Actually I don't know Clare at all, I know of her, I know a little about her through other people and school gossip but I don't actually know her. I know she's Adam's best friend, I know she's Eli's best friend…sometimes, and she goes out with Eli a lot which I never understood. I know she dated Jake and they were still dating after their parents got married, I said hey to her once in the caf when Drew and I were giving Jake grief about sleeping in the same house with his girlfriend. I know several Ice Hounds, under Dallas' command, wrecked her birthday and I refused to. They did it all because of that article she wrote but they also wrecked the garden. I know she's on the newspaper at school, I know she's a good writer, she dated K.C. and she wears an abstinence ring like Luke. I know Fitz had a huge crush on her and she drove up to the cabin with Bianca only to find Jake and Alli kissing. I know she's got an older sister who was a bitch and her sister got raped on a ski trip, or so the rumor goes. All of that is stuff I know about her, from other people or what little I've seen but I don't know Clare.
She tells me where her house is and I park out front, I actually live close to Drew but I didn't mind bringing her home. Jake's truck is gone but I see Glen's truck and another car so I guess her parents are home. Clare thanks me for the ride, I tell her no problem and she gets out. I watch her struggling to walk normally to her front door. When she's inside I turn around and drive home, I get home just in time for dinner, Tris is here with Maya and Mom tells me to make a plate when I come in. Tris and Maya spend all of dinner talking about Eli's movie. Maya's sleeping over, she does that a lot so they go to Tris' room after dinner. I help Mom and Dad clean up and then go to my room, I switch on the TV but I keep thinking about Clare.
I fall asleep to the TV and wake up when my alarm goes off the next morning. I'm still dressed, the TV is still on and now it's a morning talk show. I get up and take a quick shower before getting dressed and ready for school. Maya eats cereal for breakfast, Tris has grapefruit because he's still dieting and I eat bacon, eggs and a bagel. When we're done with breakfast I drive the three of us to school. I see Jake's truck as well as Drew's car so I know they're all here, Tris and Maya go off as soon as I'm parked and I go inside. I see Clare in the hallway; she covered her bruise with makeup and she's leaning on the wall and just sort of staring into nothing. She did that after Eli broke up with her too but not like she is now. She looks sad and scared, when Alli and Jenna call out her name she jumps.
"Hey Owen," Drew says slapping me on the back and I turn to him.
"Adam say anything to you about the way Clare was last night?" I ask him as Alli and Jenna converge on Clare.
"Just that he knew something was wrong," Drew replies looking over at Clare too.
"You didn't tell us you had a date," Alli says and Clare suddenly turns green.
"Jake said he was a handsome rich guy!" Jenna squeals and now Clare looks pale.
"So how was it? What was he like?" Alli questions excitedly and is practically jumping up and down over this guy Clare went out with.
"He was…a prince," Clare says but looks like she's about to throw up. "Excuse me," she excuses herself pushing past Alli and running down the hall.
Drew and I follow her; she runs out the back door to the soccer field and sinks down on her knees as she bursts into tears.
"Clare what's wrong?" Drew questions putting his hand on her shoulder and she flinches away, shrinking at his touch.
"Did something happen on your date?" I ask her and she just shakes her head vigorously.
"Clare…"
"Leave me alone," she snaps at us cutting Drew off.
"Clare something is obviously wrong," I comment.
"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screams.
I look at Drew, we're not really sure what to do, something happened but she's not about to talk to us. Drew hits my arm and we stand up walking back toward the school, I feel like I shouldn't be leaving her there but she doesn't want us there.
"Let's go find Adam," Drew says and I nod. We walk into school and find Adam in foyer talking with Connor, Drew calls to his brother and he comes over to us. "Clare's crying outside, we tried to find out what was wrong but she screamed at us to go away," Drew informs him.
"Where is she?" Adam asks.
"Out back by the soccer field," I tell him and he takes off to find Clare.
Drew and I wait where we are, it's several minutes but Clare comes around the corner with Adam. She isn't crying any longer, she's wiped away her tears and splashed water on her face. Adam is walking close to her with his arm loosely around her, she's biting her lip, I realize it's something else I know about her, she bites her lip a lot.
"I'm really sorry for screaming at you guys, I had a fight with my mom last night and didn't sleep very much. I'm just tired and on edge, I didn't mean to scare you guys," she apologizes and she sounds like she means it. If I wasn't sure in the deepest part of my soul that there was something truly and terribly wrong, that she went through something awful, I would believe her.
"That's alright Clare, are you sure you're okay?" Drew asks.
"Yeah I'm fine," she nods just as the bell rings for class.
"Uh we have parenting class, I can walk on the other side of the hall if you want," I comment to Clare since we have the class together and she cracks a very tiny smile.
"You can walk with me," she says softly.
"I'll see you in math Clare," Adam waves and I walk with Clare to homeroom.
I watch her carefully, she moves cautiously and deliberately, thinking about her movements and sucking in a lot of breaths. She looks like she's in pain all through class, keeps shifting in her seat and looks like she might cry several times during class.
"Can I walk you to math?" I offer when the bell rings at the end of class, Clare was standing up from her desk and looks over at me like I've lost my mind. Her eyebrow is raised and her eyes are wide. "It's on my way to business leadership," I tell her.
"Uh okay," she says slowly. She bends over to pick up her backpack then suddenly hisses in pain, stops and clutches her side. I grab her backpack and hold it out to her, earning me another small smile.
"That happen when you fell too?" I inquire and she nods. I walk Clare to math class and Adam is already there, I wave to them and walk to business leadership. "Something's wrong, I don't think she had a fight with her mom, I don't think that bruise on her face came from a fall or the ones on her ribs," I comment to Drew as I sit at my desk next to his in class.
"She has bruises on her ribs?" Drew asks.
"She couldn't even pick up her backpack; I think she got beat up or something," I tell him.
"Who would beat up Clare?" Drew questions just as Eli walks in and we both look over at him but shake our heads. "Nah, he's gone crazy before but he wouldn't ever hurt Clare, he tries to hurt himself," Drew says in a low voice.
Drew and I spend most of class conjecturing on who hurt Clare and what happened; when the bell rings we walk out to go to lunch with Bianca and Dallas.
"Okay Hardy Boys what's going on?" Bianca questions when we're down the hall a bit.
"Hardy Boys?!" Drew and I say together while Dallas is laughing.
"I heard you two talking about the Clare mystery so what the hell is going on?" Bianca asks.
"We don't know that's why it's a mystery," I reply in a snarky tone.
While we eat we tell them what happened that morning. Bianca says it could have been Clare's mom that hit her, Dallas thinks it was Jake and Drew brings up the possibility she was mugged. Drew does say he'll ask Adam if Clare said anything when he gets home. After lunch I have a spare, I usually spend it doing homework so I don't have that much to do after practice. I'm about to sit in the resource center when I see Clare walk past, she has a spare this period too. I grab my books and leave the resource center just in time to see her run into the woods leading to the ravine and I follow her. She lets out a scream, a vicious primal scream of deep running pain and then bursts into tears, pounding her fist against a tree and kicking the trunk with her foot.
"Clare what happened and don't tell me you got in a fight with your mom," I assert.
She looks at me wiping tears from her face, she looks angry but the anger is not directed at me.
"I WAS RAPED THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!" She screams and then sinks down to her knees in the dirt, "My date Saturday night raped me and left me on the ground like trash when he was done."
I know intense first chapter, it won't always be so intense some good will come out of it. Despite the intensity I hope you all enjoyed it. It will pick up from here next Wednesday and still in Owen's pov.