"Go on Arthur!"a soft punch to the shoulder nudged the cold beer in his hand, "She said I was a knight, 'Sir Leon' has a nice ring to it" the bearded man shouted through the blearing noise of rap which Leon loved to call 'music'.
"Aye, that's what she told me as well, a 'Sir Lancelot Du Laac', the most noble of them all" Lance raised his glass and nodded towards Leon who scowled sourly back. The blink of the strobes caught them all in flashes as the club music dissolved into a dub step solo. Arthur cursed himself for attending and envisioned himself back at his flat with a double.
"Me as well, so that'll be Sir Gwaine to you lot" standing from his stool, bouncing off his heel he bowed low, spilling his beer on the already sweat-slick floor. Arthur shook his head incredulously; his skin crawling as Gwaine carelessly tossed a wink to him, "What about you, Gwen?"
"Me? I was just a serving girl" she shrugged indifferently, casually sipping the pint in her hand. Lance took the chance to shuffle a little closer to her.
"Ah, well, you look like a princess to me" he smiled, placing a soft kiss to her cheek, causing Arthurs eyes to roll. Those two had been dating since high school, childhood sweethearts. It had been something out of Nicolas Spark's wet dream, she was the English lit superstar and he was the jock who had never been to a library before meeting her, and they were still in honey-moon mode.
"Actually I was a serving girl-turned-queen by marriage; ruling for many years after my husband's sudden passing" taking another sip, her gaze never left his.
"I sense a theme going on here" Arthur yelled bitterly, "Sounds like your party entertainment is just trying to make a fast buck Leon" The man had just turned 25 but he still had less sense enough to have a party. Half the people outside the group, who had taken refuge at the bar, had no idea who he was but the man didn't seem to care.
"She was a gift from your sister" Leon called back, head bopping away to the beat of the new song, his drink sloshing back and forth in its cup.
"I hear she asked that 'Dynamo' magician to come but he was busy" seemingly a little disappointed Gwen shrugged.
"Who can call themselves a 'fortune teller' if they can only tell you their past lives?" Arthur called, slamming his drink back on the table, signalling the barkeep for another.
"Well she read the cards for me and Lance," pulling her cheeks back to reveal a soft smile, Gwen took the moment to place her hand on the shoulder where Lance had been keeping his all night, their fingers slowly intertwining, "Many happy years, to replace past grievances apparently"
"Its bullshit, I'm telling you" Arthur called, a fake smile painted his face.
"Well, go on then Mr Sceptic, you're the only one who hasn't been read" Lance called over his girlfriends shoulder, taking his hand away long enough to clap him on the shoulder.
"And I'd like to keep it that way thank you" Arthur took the time to look over at the tent that had been set up at the club. Peach hues of sheets which flashed along with the lights hooked up with the latest song. The club itself was huge; Arthur wondered how Leon could have landed such a spot in the middle of London. The 'entertainment' had been pushed off to the side far from the speakers of deafening, god-awful music.
Morgana, you send a man a girl for his birthday, not a fortune teller!
"Aren't you curious?" Gwen smiled down at him, drawing his attention away.
"About what? Some sob story woven between crap and lies?" He muttered to the rim of his cup.
"Then you have nothing to lose!" Gwen shoved him, almost knocking him off his stool, "Off you go!" Her cocked smile left Arthur standing still, the sly squint in her eyes wasn't the sweet look he was used to. This is the one solely reserved for work, when he had spoken out of turn or had been rude to a co-worker, even though he was her boss. It was cold and collected, and one Arthur knew he couldn't ignore.
"Fine, but if she spews that 'you were a knight' crap at me as well, you will buy the next round" he called, slapping a few bills onto the table for his drinks.
"Fine, and if not, you buy" Arthur smirked as her lips broke out her dazzling grin. A challenge is it? I'll show you this is utter bullshit.
"Deal"
"Um, Hello?" pulling back the drapery of the small tent he found a sea of pillows of all sizes and patterns matching the décor of peaches and purples. Huddled amongst the pillows stood a small table, no more than knee-high, carrying a misted glass orb. Typical, can't they be at least a little creative?
Caught hanging on the end of the table, a pair of hands peeling out of the shadows, doused in rings.
"Welcome young man, please take a seat" the bangles on her wrists jingled as she offered the pillows in front of herself. Arthur calmed sat down shuffling forward trying to get a look at whom he was addressing. Squinting in the darkness his eyes tried to focus. Her face was soft with tiny wrinkles, nothing like Arthur had read about, if anything she was rather young. "I sense you have something to ask of me?"
Not really, "My friends told me I could have my past life-"
"You wish for you past life to be divulged to you? May I ask, what is your reason?" Folding her arms across the table, she sat forward, her face now bathed in dim light. For but a moment Arthur saw her eyes as gold, like that of a cat poised and ready to pounce. Taking a closer look he convinced them to be brown but something about it put him on edge.
To win a bet, "Just curious" Slowly she sat back, seeming to think that answer over.
"I see" Arthur let go of the breath he had been holding, "Well then, place your hands on the table, palms towards the ceiling, head back and eyes closed" she ordered, Arthur quickly complied. The position made his neck tense, feeling the front of his throat tighten, "Relax, as your muscles feel heavy over your spirit," releasing the slow pull in his fingertips, he did ask she asked, the low hum of the music outside pounded along with his heart, "the music slows further with each beat as you drift" she hissed almost in a whisper, his breathing grew loud in his ears as the world surrounding him grew silent, "What do you see?"
A snarling noise he assumed to be the woman filled his ears as flurries of colours blurred his vision in the darkness behind his eyes. The images settling like that on canvas, men in red and gold, clad in glinting armour. The images swirled together like a child's fingers having their way across the image as it stirred again, into two women, their faces shrouded and unclear, their hair hazel and ebony. Trumpets howled in his ears, as the visions bled out, red. Screams filled his ears. Women, children, men.
"And, wake!" a snap called the screams to cease but not the sweat that soaked his brow.
"What was that?" his anger laid waste in his breathlessness
"My my, how rare to have such a presence as yours young Pendragon" The woman sat back in her study of Arthur, a peppered sun spotted hand coming to rest on her cheek.
"Who?" Arthur hissed as he pulled his aching neck forward.
"Pendragon," nonplussed she squinted, "The name is unfamiliar to you?" Arthur looked to her, her stare non-withholding, "Interesting" her cracking grin turned stern, "You were born from the blood of kings long past, and ruled like no other, you built a kingdom from the ashes it was into a prideful unified empire. Alas you reign was strong but short, suffering at the hands of your beloved friends, and family, repeatedly betrayed by those you held close. You were Arthur Pendragon, once and future king of Camelot."
"King of Camelot?" a dry laugh flew from Arthur's mouth as he slowly found the strength to stand, suddenly his body felt like stone, his head suffering a dull ache "Is that the best you can do?"
"Hey how did it go?" Leon hailed him with an arm round the shoulder, guiding him back to the group.
"Well, I wasn't a knight" he muttered, shrugging the arm off
"What? The almighty Arthur, not good enough to be a knight? I bet you were a servant boy, fetching chamber pots and mucking out the stables" Gwaine laughed, slapping his friend on the back.
"Ha-ha! Actually I was the king!" he said flatly, the back of his skull had taken to screaming a high pitch whine,"King Arthur, so she claimed, seems she stuck with her theme"
"Of course you were" a distasteful moan roared from Gwaine, "She probably just made that up after you told her your name" Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose as the pain pulsated at the back of his head
"You alright mate?" Lance called.
"Ah, no, it seems I have a bit of a headache, I'm going to head home"
"Only because you're buying" Leon cried. Arthur quickly pulled his wallet out and threw a 50 on the table.
"Here, on me. I'll catch you guys later" waving his mates off, thoughts swirling in his pounding head he squeezed his way out of the club.
Tell her my name? I don't think I did
"Arthur?" the sweet voice called to him like a gentle breeze, carrying the sweet scents of lavender. Lavender like the dress she was wearing, her warm hand cupped his face like a ghost. I know this, why do I know this?
Hurriedly he rubbed his eyes.
"You disappoint me" the silhouette spoke again, its shape had morphed. A crimson cape left a long dark trail behind the tall, sturdy stranger. Arthur tried to back away as it stepped forward.
Tripping on his heel he fell flat on his back. Looking up the shape it bent over him. Arthur could feel his heart jump to his mouth as a large hand reached out for him. He screwed his eyes shut.
"You can trust me" Arthur breathed as he peeked an eye open. The mop of brown curls spoke, offering a gloved hand to him. Accepted the hand he took to his feet, relieved. Releasing the hand he smiled. But the figure did not do the same, squeezing Arthurs hand into a tight grip. With its free hand he went for his belt, pulling a long silver blade from it. Poising it to Arthur's stomach and thrusting forward.
"DIE!"
Jumping from his sheets, his heart beating in his ears he searched for the beings that had meant to cause his harm. His room was still clothed in darkness but thankfully he was still alone.
"A dream, a dream it was just a dream" he gulped, holding his head. The aspirin he had taken earlier had no effect on the migraine that sat behind his eyes. Taking his face in his hands he rubbed the cold sweat from his forehead. He looked down, recalling the spot where the sword had plunged his body. I can still feel it.
"Leon? Yeah it's me, can I ask a favour? That Fortune teller, do you have her number?" Arthur checked the hour on his alarm, it had just hit quarter past three in the morning and it wasn't surprising Leon was still awake.
"Why? Did you want a private reading?" he could hear the smug grin dripping on the other end of the phone.
"No, nothing like that"
"Why not? She wasn't bad looking, just a little older" Leon mused
"That's your drinks talking, now do you have the number or not?" Arthur hissed; ignoring the sick throbs in his head.
"No, I'm sorry, like I said; your sister got her in for me"
"Brilliant" Arthur mumbled, rubbing his temple "Could you ask her for me then?
"Still not on speaking terms?"
"If we were she would have attending the party herself instead of sending the entertainment" Arthur muttered, "Anyway I need that number, it's kind of urgent"
The paper scrunched in his hand as he held the now sweat slicked phone to his ear "Madame Gaiusine?"
"Young Pendragon, I was expecting you"
Bull, "I have a few questions to ask you" his migraine pushed through his words, clouding his thoughts, "I'm having these dreams-" Arthur sighed, every time he had closed his eyes flashes of images flooded his vision. He dared not to even blink.
"The gates of your memory have been opened; your past life is dripping into your conscience brain"
"My past is what?" His head thumped in his ears, "I was fine until today! You must have planted these images into my head!" urgh I feel sick "Did you drug me? Before I saw you I had no problem sleeping; now I can barely get a wink! I see battles and blood-shed and people dying every time a shut my damn eyes!" I need to sit down. He had made it into the kitchen and the cool floor felt nice on his feet. Cautiously he sat on the floor, leaning back on the white-washed cupboards.
"It cannot be helped, your spirit is longing for something in your past life, some unfinished business perhaps" curling up on his kitchen floor, the coolness tempered his hot skin, "With some help, another couple of readings should find out what that something is-"
"Alright? When can we meet?" he huffed trying to push the bile back down his throat.
"Unfortunately I am unavailable"
"But then how-?!" Arthur allowed the cool linoleum to soak into his pulsating temple,
"But I have an associate that can assist you"
"Fine, what's the name?"
Knock, Knock
"Coming!" Arthur called as he dashed to the front of his flat, and opened the door. A young man, slender and tall stood waiting on the other side; "Emrys?" the man seemed to be in stuck in awe before remembering how to speak.
"Yeah" the man nodded as Arthur stepped aside,
"Right this way" Locking the door behind him he took a good look at the stranger who seemed to be in wonder of the small flat. In truth it was nothing special, in fact, beside the big furniture there was nothing, no pictures or flowers. It was simple and easy to manage, just how he preferred.
"I didn't know magicians made house calls" Arthur called as the man turned around, "Especially magicians with their own TV series" the man only smiled half heartedly, seemingly embarrassed.
"Yeah, well, had to start somewhere, children's birthdays were my thing once"
"Emrys will help you find what you are looking for" His headache started to dull as trickles of beaded sweat poured onto the floor.
Emrys? Why have I heard that name? Emrys, Emrys, Emrys I know that name! Late nights, crap pizza, crap TV… "Wait! You don't mean 'Dynamo' Emrys? The magician from the TV?" Arthur growled, "I don't need some hack magician, I need a fortune teller! Or a past-teller or whatever the hell you are!" his hand clutching his phone vibrated with anger, "I'm not asking to be locked in a box and be sawn in half! I just want to understand what's going on!"
"Do not be fooled by his appearance, he is even more skilled than I" Arthur sighed, relieved that his pain seemed to be subsiding.
"How do I know this isn't a trick?" his words only caught on a breathy whisper, "Or some sort of scheme, for all I know I could be drugged!"
"If you wish to find the answers you seek, you will have to trust the guide"
'Trust the guide', she said. Well it bloody wouldn't take much to seem more powerful than a sixty something woman. The man was dressed in a casual dress shirt and a pair of plain jeans, with black dishevelled hair. Nothing remotely special. Though looking at him now, I bet the old lady could take him.
"Before we start I want to you promise me," For the first time the man met him in the eye, a striking bright blue, "No tricks or gags" he held his gaze well, "Strictly professional"
"Of course" he nodded once. Clapping his hands together, wringing them in his grip, Arthur shrugged.
"So how do we do this?"
"Uh, just take a seat" Emrys offered the lazy-boy opposite him as he took a seat.
"What? No crystal balls?" Arthur smirked as he relaxed back in his chair.
"No" Emrys grinned back impishly taking the chair opposite, his long legs bumping into the coffee table between them.
"So it is all just mumbo-jumbo?" Arthur sat forward in his chair, realising the man hadn't brought anything with him. He had only seen an episode or two of his shows and it seemed to be much the same. He had no possessions, and preformed tricks on the road to unsuspecting people.
"Not all of it, there is a bit of showmanship to it" Emrys sat forward, rolling up his sleeves dramatically.
"But that bit of it is crap?" The man stopped, a slightly tense smile crooked his face.
"Yeah that part of it is crap" he replied flatly, much to Arthur's satisfaction, "Alright, I need you to close your eyes and focus"
"Don't try anything funny" Arthur replied smugly as he relaxed in his chair, allowing his eyes to come to a steady close. After a few sly peaks to see if the man had moved.
"I have already said I wouldn't" Emrys spat back, seemingly annoyed, "I need you to focus on those dreams," Arthur could hear snarls coming from the end of the room, a harsh chant much like the fortune teller in the tent, "What do you see?"
Scrunching his eyes for focus he watched his world through misted glass,
"Camelot" with each flicker his mind shuffled, "The king; my father," the scent of lavender filled his senses, "Gwenivere" a black figure swam into view, two gold orbs taking their places for eyes "Morgana" he followed to gold stare as the silhouette shifted to carry a long blade, "…Mordred!"
"And wake!" The snap was much louder; shooting forward Arthur realised Emrys had moved to sit on the coffee in front of him.
"He killed me, that bastard killed me! I trusted him!" his hands gripped the arms of the chair, turning his knuckles white, "Gwen, oh Gwen, I left her, after I promised" he felt as if he had run a mile, his shirt was soaked and his breath had left him, "Oh gods! Gods!"
"Arthur! Arthur! Listen to me! Focus! Is that all you remember?" The man gripped his arms steady and looked him square in the eye.
"The knights, and Camelot" he hissed, this man and his eyes, "I was their King" With that Emrys quickly let go of his tight hold, and sat back on the table, tossing a hand through his hair.
"Well isn't that just typical" he muttered under his breath.
"Excuse me?" Arthur spat
"Oh nothing, nothing" he shrugged, "I should expect nothing less from a right royal prat anyway".
"Oh SHUT UP MERLIN!" Arthur growled throwing his face into his hands Wait. Wait I know this, I know him. I do. Those damn eyes, those damn blue eyes. Arthur looked up at the man who was now smiling, relieved "Merlin, you-"
"Still here? Yeah"
Arthur's body moved before he realized it, the time slowed in his hands. Thrusting forward to pull the man to him, he had to see, he had to be real. Gripping him his shirt, he yanked the man into a tight embrace. "Whoa, are you feeling alright?" Merlin sheepishly patted his friend on the back.
"Just, shut up" Arthur muttered into his shoulder. Quickly coming to his senses he thrust Merlin away but refused to relent the grip he had on his shoulders, "And you remember? You remember everything, right?"
"Probably more than you do"
"What happened to Camelot? To Gwen? To the Knights? Merlin! Tell me!" he shook the thin man, he really hadn't grown or changed, he was just as nimble as he was all those years ago.
"Hey! Hey! Calm down! Geez I'm going to bruise!" Merlin pried his way out of Arthur's fingertips, "I'll tell you everything, just calm down!"
"I died" Slowly dropping his hands, Arthur looked up at Merlin.
"You did" Merlin nodded, his jaw going tight, "The knights, swore loyalty to Gwen and she ruled over Camelot as fair and justly as you did, you would have been proud" Arthur nodded slowly, his mouth suddenly feeling dry, "But eventually, Camelot was attacked, and the queen was elderly, and Camelot fell"
"Why didn't you stop it?" Arthur asked breathlessly, his brain heard the words but his mouth almost refused to respond.
"Because even after you death, magic was forbidden and…" Merlin sighed, closing his eyes, "after Gaius's death, I left Camelot" Arthur frowned at him, anger rising in his throat
"Your duty was to protect her!" he cried.
"My duty was to protect you!" Merlin shouted back, "And I failed" he hissed, "How was I supposed to face Gwen after that?" his face softened slightly. Merlin sighed, allowing a moment to calm himself before going on, "So I went and studied, saw the world a few times"
"A few times?" Arthurs brows furrowed, "What about when you died? How is it you can remember now?"
"Ah, it's not important" Merlin smiled, wringing his own hands in his lap, hyperaware of the stare Arthur was trying to catch him with.
"You promised no more lies, no more secrets" The air caught in Merlin's throat as he looked around the room, at the couch, at the ceiling, anywhere but Arthur, "Merlin!" There, he had him, his stare was intense and told him that no lie would suffice the truth.
"I haven't, you know, died" he hoped the small smile would set Arthur at ease.
"What?" Arthur shuffled in his chair, not sure whether he should stand or stay sitting, "You're telling me, you've been alive this entire time?" Merlin nodded slowly, careful of Arthur's reactions, he looked like he was either going to be sick or start screaming, "How come you look so…" his words failed him. Merlin hadn't changed, except for the clothes. He hadn't grown or aged hell he hadn't even tanned.
"Magic" Merlin shrugged. Arthur snarled in frustration. Magic, it's always that bloody magic! He pursed his lips, pushing his anger to the pits of his stomach.
"What have you been doing?" Calmly he had stood up suddenly and had started paced the floor behind the chair.
"Studying, exploring, learning"
"That's it?" Arthur stopped, gripping the back of the chair, "Did you ever get married? Have children?"
"I went sailing with Captain Cook once?"Merlin shrugged, "Fought some Oni on Mt Fuji, those Tengu are nasty" he mumbled, "Uh, I dated a mermaid, but you know, tail, fish" Arthur laughed a brief mouth of air before he started pacing again, I can't tell whether he's being serious or taking the piss
"And after all that you become a cheap magician"
"I'm not a cheap magician!" Merlin scowled, offended.
"Well I suppose it's a step up from a man-servant" Arthur muttered, "Well no, you weren't really a man-servant either" he tossed a glance at Merlin who watched back intently, a tinge of sadness seeping his eyes.
"Arthur"
"Well this explains why I was never fond of magic tricks, even as a child, it's always a con, deception at its finest-" he chuckled, his gaze slipping back to the coffee table, the sight stopped him short, Merlin's face was distorted in pain and shame. I went too far, "I didn't mean it like that"
"Yes you did" Merlin's deadpan voice fell like lead, "And for some magic you are right, it is just a trick, but it means no harm." Arthur sat down again, needing to face his friend in the face.
"But Merlin, your magic is real, and powerful, you wipe out cities in the blink of an eye if you wanted to!"
"What good would that do me? Me, my job is to bring magic back to this world" Arthur sat back, slumping in his chair.
"The old religion"
"Yes, and well, no" Merlin frowned, "Just magic, in its pure and simplest form" He smiled meekly, "To teach the people not to fear it, that it's something to admire… You see, it was one of my disciples was the one that found you"
"A druid?" Arthur asked, he should have known, she looked just like one.
"Well her ancestors were, yes" Merlin smiled to the floor, his eyes beyond them, "I knew them well, they even named her after Gaius"
"You watched them die?" Merlin stopped cold.
"I watched a lot of people die" he said finally meeting Arthur in the eye, "And yet, it doesn't get any easier" he smiled, one that seemed to be almost painted on. After a moments silence he stood up, brushing his knees off, "Anyway I should get going, I have a shoot in the morning"
"What? No you can't go!" Arthur stood up immediately, his knees almost cracking at the speed. Merlin stared at him a little lost, "I mean, uh, I haven't dismissed you" he said, pulling the distress in his voice back into check.
"Aha, very funny Arthur" Merlin sighed, heading for the door. Arthur raced for it, only just grabbing the handle first.
"You do not laugh at your king Merlin!"
"Sire," Merlin said slowly as if he were talking to a child, "I do believe I'm not your manservant anymore"
"Did I fire you?" Arthur replied calmly.
"A couple of times, even had me arrested" Merlin folded his arms across his chest, "Is your memory really that awful?"
"My death does not mean you neglect your duties upon my return, Merlin" Arthur leant back on the door, staring down his opponent.
"You're serious" Merlin said incredulously, taken aback.
"Go fetch my night clothes, and run a bath while you're there" Merlin stood there scowling back at him, "I said move!" he shouted, making Merlin jump.
"Here" Merlin threw the clothes at Arthurs head as he strode into his bedroom, "Now I really must go" yanking the clothes off his face Arthur watched as Merlin went for the door again.
"You can't leave!" A hand clamped down on his menservants shoulder, he really hadn't grown any. He was still so fragile. Merlin yanked away, taking Arthur by surprise.
"Why not?" he mumbled, "You've taken care of yourself so far without me"
"That's because-" Arthur stopped, Why do I want him here? 'Because' what? Arthur pursed his lips, "No, you are right, I have no reason to keep you" he nodded, "You are dismissed"
"Thank you" Merlin sighed, heading for the door.
"But I shall expect breakfast in the morning" Arthur called after him, receiving a loud moan in return.
"Of course, sire"
After the click of the door Arthur stood in silence. A part of him convinced himself that last hour was nothing but another bad dream. The other part couldn't relax, wouldn't settle down, a hive had taken refuge in his chest. Bath, a bath and it'll be fine
Pulling on his night clothes felt strange now, he had done the task a thousand times before today but now something was missing. An annoying natter in the corner of his mind, it was too silent in his room. He pulled the covers back and hopped into bed and rolled over closing his eyes. It was far too bright, his eyelids were red.
"Merlin! Candles!"
He flung the sheets back, What did I just-? He turned to the lamp on his bedside; Morgana had given it to him as a housewarming gift. History had been repeated, they had fought because of their father, Lance and Gwen had fallen in love again but Lance hadn't died because there were no battles, no magic to fight. It had come a full circle, and they were all here again. There must be a reason.
"Merlin" it had to be his magic that brought him back, now he had to deal with this 'unfinished business.' He is right, I am no longer king. Am I supposed to de-throne someone? I doubt it, she has been ruling far before I was born…again. Besides she is the rightful heir and Queen. So why am I here?
His thoughts ran in circles before he gave up. All this time has passed and it only feels like I was in Camelot this morning. And Merlin has been alive this entire time? How long must that feel?
It was clear to Arthur that he wasn't going to be sleeping tonight he pulled on a jacket and locked the door.
Strolling down London's streets it was only 11 but most of the street shops were still open. He decided he could use a coffee, the one thing he couldn't make himself. It was always too bitter when he made it but the gas station down the road was always fresh. He walked past the automatic doors and ordered his usual. He watched the back of the man who scurried off to make his drink. Out of the corner of his eye he caught something, staring back at him were a pair of blue eyes, sitting on the magazine rack sat Merlin, his face plastered on the cover of some women's magazine. Slowly he yanked it out, the title reading 'Whizz kid, Dynamo wows out Piccadilly' Not exactly a catchy title.
His coffee slapped the counter as Arthur looked the tired man in the eye,
"That'll be $4.50"
"Ah, yes and this too please"
Sighing as he slammed the front door shut he sank down the door, collapsing in a heap at the bottom. He hadn't meant to go on a shopping spree in the middle of the night. He had combed the streets of the magazine racks for any other news on Merlin's escapades. As it turned out he seemed to be quite popular with the tabloids. On his way home he had also stopped by his local video store and picked up Merlin's latest few DVDs to watch.
Pulling himself from the floor he went to put one in, tossing his shopping on the coffee table. He sat back on his lazy boy pressing play on the TV remote. He was there, happy running the narration on the DVD right from the start, explaining that he was going to show people the wonders of the world right before their own eyes.
"Do you see those butterflies" he asked a young woman, pointing out a rug hung up in some street market, she had nodded politely. "Watch" Arthur shifted in his chair as Merlin went to the rug and placed his hands on one of the embroidered butterflies. Steadily his flat hand bowed against the fabric, coming to for a light fist. Turning back to the woman the camera zoomed in on his hand which opened to reveal the butterfly in his hand, its wings gently beating in his hand. The camera panned back to the rug where the butterfly had come, it had vanished in its place. Squeals of delight came from off side the camera as the butterfly soared from the thin bony hand.
They have no idea, they have no idea what he is capable of. He killed armies in his time, knocked down castles if he wished for it. Still, he's still is hiding, in plain sight just like he always has. That kind of life, all alone. It's no wonder he's not smiling.
It was then Arthur noticed, he wasn't smiling, his lips were turned up but that was just it. There was nothing behind it and that disturbed Arthur more than anything.
He watched the DVDs again and again, reading the interviews after watching for the third or fourth time. Most of it was just fluff, 'Favourite food?' Ha, rabbit stew Arthur thought smugly. 'Apples'
"Aye?" Arthur scowled, 'Favourite thing to do?' Go to the tavern, obviously. 'Reading'
"Liar!" Arthur cried. 'Currently in a relationship?' Not without my permission. Arthur stopped, Merlin's narration finishing off the DVD.
My permission? He's not my manservant anymore; he can date whoever he desires. He had relationships when I was the king, when I had Gwen. He even said he had relationships when I was dead. These thoughts sank in this stomach. I can't stop him. I have no right to. So why do I-?
Arthur threw the magazine on the table in frustration.
"You're late!" Arthur growled as he heard the soft knock on his door. Pulling it open Arthur relaxed a little. He hadn't slept a wink since last night and he was starving.
"We didn't specify a time" Merlin yawned.
"Dawn, like usual" Arthur walked back into his lounge, "Where is my breakfast?" Merlin tossed him the bag of bagels he was holding and closed the door behind him. Arthur was wound up, like he had had too many cups of coffee. He was still dressed in the clothes he had thrown at him last night but he was wearing the jacket and boots he was wearing yesterday.
"Arthur, did you sleep at all?"
"Of course I did" Arthur snapped, scoffing one of the bagels in his mouth, "I was exhausted" Merlin frowned before spying the messed that had accumulated on the coffee table.
"Oh I bet," Merlin smiled, "After watching all that TV, makes your eyes go square I've heard" pulling the DVD from under the pile of magazines that had found its way onto the coffee table, one had even had Merlin's face on the cover. Waving it at Arthur.
"Give me that!" Arthur muttered yanking it from his hand and placing it beside the TV.
"Were you researching me?" Merlin smirked. Arthur scowled at the grin, it was completely different from the ones he had seen all night; this one was genuine.
"What? No!" he huffed "No, I was just, um, holding this for a friend, from my sister, to a friend"
"Oh well I can sign it for you'd like" Arthur fought his instinct to clock Merlin across the head. Partially because his smug grin was getting bigger and bigger.
"Uh, no, no that's ok, I'd rather not like to get it dirty" Arthur smirked back. Merlin shrugged.
"Anyway I have to head to work" he checked the tiny watch on his slender arm, "Don't you?" Arthur tossed a glance to the wall clock, ticking in at half 9.
"Oh shit!" Arthur cried throwing off the jacket and dashing to his room.
"You go get dressed, I'll go find a cab" Merlin muttered as his friend quickly raced out of the room.
"Any luck?" Arthur said breathlessly as he jogged up beside Merlin who hand waved about beside the road "Finding a cab in London? It's like pulling teeth"
"Oh I've got my tricks" with that he pulled his arm down and whistled between two fingers. Not two moments later a cab drove up "After you" Merlin beamed as he open the cab door, "It's all about the showmanship" Arthur glared at him as he shuffled in first. Him and his bloody magic.
Slamming the door Merlin yelled the address to the cabbie. Arthur sighed, finally able to relax for a moment, he felt as if he'd been on the go for about a week now and the lack of sleep wasn't doing anything for his nerves. "Your tie is crooked" he heard Merlin mumble. Arthur shuffled to fix it, just bumping Merlin's hands who had apparently tried to do the same. Retracting his hands quickly he thrust them in his lap and turned to stare out the window "Sorry, old habits"
"No, it's alright" Arthur muttered. That was weird
The pair sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes before Merlin spoke again.
"This is my stop" he hushed at the window. He hadn't bothered to even look at Arthur, who had taken to staring at his pale slender neck. It looked bare without his neckerchief. Evenly stranger, Arthur even seemed to miss the annoying piece of clothing. Merlin opened the door once the cab came to a stop.
"Wait!" Arthur gripped Merlin's wrist catching him before he could leave. His mouth gaped as Merlin looked at him in confusion and… sadness? "Come by my place when you're done, I still want to talk" Merlin bit his lip as he looked at the floor.
"I probably shouldn't" Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's wrist. There was no way he was letting go without a promise.
"Merlin, I could put you in the stocks for defying your king" he hissed pulling his key out of his pocket and placing it in Merlin's hand.
"As it so happens you can't or so you keep forgetting" Merlin snapped back
"Merlin, just for once, do as I ask" Arthur slowly released the hold he had, sure that Merlin wanted to bolt as soon as he had let go. Instead Merlin took the key and exited the car.
"Fine"
"Gwen" barely making it through the revolving door his assistant was already by his side, high heels clicking on the cool marble floor.
"Morning, you have a meeting in 802 in ten minutes, here's your coffee" thrusting the hot macchiato in his hand she lead on to the elevator. Arthur stared at her from behind, a cranberry red phantom of a dress dragged behind her, embellished in jewels and fine embroidery only fit for a queen.
"Thank you" he said breathless as she turned to smile at him, the gown disappearing in a blink.
"Oh my, we are being polite today, even a 'thank you'" he beautiful smile infected Arthurs face as she pressed the button on the lift.
She deserved to be happy, just as she was. All they had been through together, heartbreak, separation and yet they had still found each other. Did she suffer when I was gone? Merlin said she ruled after me, was she lonely?
"I'm sorry" his thought rang aloud as she the ding of the lift called to them.
"I'm only teasing, come on" her giggle was light and carefree like sunlight, blinding Arthur. At least she is happy. That's all I ever wished for her.
"Hey if it isn't our king!" stepping off at their floor his friends and co workers hailed their leader.
"Sir Leon, Sir Gwaine" Arthur smiled, seeing his men back in their regalia. Shining chainmail and flowing red capes and… Coffees? Arthur shook his head, the sight faded into tight grey suits, far from the gleaming chainmail.
"At your service, my liege" Leon bowed at the waist.
"I don't know about a king, he's more of a princess to me" Gwaine smirked.
"Haha, I'll remember that once we begin today's training session" Arthur huffed, his hands going for the clasps around his neck. Feeling only the top of his chest he reminded himself he wasn't wearing his cape.
"Training session?" Leon frowned as Arthurs stomach sank, "Oh you mean the board meeting? Nah, it's pretty standard stuff" Leon nodded, looking to Gwaine.
"Afterward, shall we go down to the pub? Princess still owes us a drink" Arthur smiled, a little warmth growing at the bottom of his chest.
"You two haven't changed at all" he muttered.
"Sir!"
"I think you mean sire" Arthur said exasperated turning to his second in command.
"What?" Lance frowned confused. Clasped in his fist were the handouts for the next meeting Arthur had made yesterday, "I've just checked the handouts for the meeting and found page four to be missing"
"You're joking! This is exactly the type of screw up we don't need!" his voice edged on shouting.
"Not to worry sir, I had them re-printed and they are still hot but waiting on the desks as we speak" running a hand through his hair Arthur sighed,
"Good, good. Well done, I knew I could trust you" Arthur clapped his friend on the shoulder as Lance beamed.
"Well done" Gwen giggled quietly, giving her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek.
"It is but my job" Arthurs face dropped as he watched his best friend smile back at her placing a soft arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. Arthurs smile died on his lips.
"Why? Why am I the only one who remembers?" Arthur growled. He had taken to pacing again, Merlin had come back to his place as he had promised, exhausted from filmed the latest episode. He had taken to slump on his couch, watching Arthur like a pendulum.
I keep seeing them over and over. She is meant to be with me! Not Lance! She is my queen, the queen of Camelot! Frustrated and tired he had barely eaten anything all day, he had taken to watching the pair during the meeting which he would have to read up on later. Before his memories had returned he had no feelings for Gwen, he had just never seen her as more as a friend. Hell, he had even introduced her to Lance! He had blindly given his beloved queen to his best friend! Now he had to face this, every single day from now on.
"Your fault" he muttered, finding he had suddenly come to a halt
"What?" Merlin slurred, tiredly
"You! it's your fault! If you hadn't opened up my past life, I could forget! I could have passed this off as a bad dream!" Arthur screamed, "You brought me back!" he gripped his lazy-boy and pushed it over, "You and your sorcery!" he stood towering over Merlin who only sat still in his sight. His eyes wide like a deer in headlights. "Now I have to sit back and watch Gwen, with Lancelot! My most trusted knight, ride off into the sunset!" a pointed finger hovered between Merlin's eyes, "Just answer me why, why am I back? What is this 'unfinished business' that that woman spouted about?"
"I don't know" he mouthed, Arthur only just catching the whisper
"Don't lie to me Merlin!"
"I DON'T KNOW" he shouted, standing to meet him in the face, "You don't think I don't see them too?" Arthur could hear the shake in his voice, "No matter where I go, I see their faces over and over again, Gwen, Gaius, my mother? It's never them but still you know, it's them" pursing his lip together Arthur watched Merlin, his outburst had caught him off guard and it was getting them nowhere.
"Could we bring them back?" his tongue clicked, imagining his knights together, brothers in arms, just like it should be.
"They are a little more difficult; they have had many lives, relived thousands and thousands of times over. So to bring back one life in particular would be near impossible" Arthurs jaw tightened at that answer, annoyed that again magic couldn't bring him what he wanted.
"Then what about me? How can I remember so clearly?" Now it was Merlin turn to pace as Arthur pulled the lazy boy back up and sat down.
"You are a little more complicated" the sigh rolled off Merlin's shoulders as he became pensive, like he was trying to explain the universe, "Like me, you've only lived once" he stated simply, "Camelot and now" If anything Merlin's explanation caused Arthur to frown more.
"Why?" Was it some unwritten rule? Royalty can only live once?
"I don't know why you're back" Merlin had finally stopped pacing, his arms folded comfortably across his chest. Arthur squinted glare looked for the lie in those words, he had said that too easily, brushed it aside almost too fast. "I don't! I really don't" For some reason Arthur trusted those words, usually he would have pulled him in and ruffled his hair until he got his answer but Merlin's constant movement put Arthur on edge.
The conversation dropped off into silence as Arthur pondered what this could mean. It could mean nothing, I could just be here now. Why should my past stop my life now, last week I was normal. I have my job, my colleagues, and my friends. Nothing has changed, so why should I? Why should I remember? Then-
"Could you… Make me forget?" his thought cut the silence like a knife, a dagger that stopped Merlin from pacing, cold. Glancing up he noticed Merlin had stopped mid-stride and had just frozen in place.
"Do you want to?" he was talking to the door but the question was directed to Arthur. He couldn't see his face, but the question had been laid bare, open and inviting. If Arthur was to be honest, it was all too tempting.
"Could you do it?" Arthur pressed, Merlin had taken to doing a statue impersonation and it was starting to concern him.
"….If you asked it of me" Arthur released his bated breath when Merlin finally turned back to face him, his arms dropping to his sides, heavily "My magic is to serve you, as it always has" his face was stone, collected and on-guard but Arthur swallowed hard as he took the pain and sadness in Merlin's eyes, like a dart to his chest, tasting the regrets of this conversation like copper.
"I believe you" He said, trying to pour all of his honesty into the phrase. Something shifted in his face, some sort of relief Arthur hoped. "No I don't want to forget" he mumbled sitting back in his chair, a fist nuzzling his scratchy cheek, he would have to remember to have a shave again before going to work tomorrow… With Gwenivere and Lance and Leon and that damned Gwaine as well… "But living like this makes things complicated"
"I am sorry" the hiss had only just caught Arthurs ear, "I am so sorry Arthur, I shouldn't have-" Merlin face had sunk to his chest and he had taken to mumbling. Arthur looked at Merlin, his entire frame was shaking. Searching for his face, he finally lifted it to find the water in his eyes starting to tip the balance over his cheeks.
"Hey, hey! What's going on?" Without thought Arthur jumped from his seat, going to him, to hold him in place. Before even coming close Merlin had his hands up to push him away.
"No, I'm sorry, just give me 5 minutes ok?" in a half-dash Merlin went for the door, tears pouring down his face. No, no more secrets. Chasing after him, he pushed the door closed as it was attempted to open.
"You're not going anywhere" Merlin turned around his back collapsing on the wood, his eyes agape and his mouth swimming for something to explain himself.
"I can't, I just-" he had never seen Merlin panic, he had whined, smiled, even cried in rare occasions but never panic like this. He knew, Arthur knew something was wrong. What if someone is trying to hurt him? Whoever it is I'll rip their throats out and cut their noses off! They have no right to touch my-… My what? My manservant? Of course, they have no right to touch him! Only I can-
Merlin pushed half heartedly at Arthur's chest, his frail forearms barely shifting him from foot to foot. So much power he wielded in each hand but now, here, he was just Merlin. Weak, pale, soft and warm, Merlin. Snatching the tiny wrists in each hand he followed Merlin as he seemingly lost his will to fight and slid down the door. Following him to the floor, he knelt to match him at eye level.
"Stop, stop calm down" Arthur whispered, as Merlin looked anywhere but him, tears effortlessly tracing tracks down his reddened cheeks, Arthur wished he could spare a thumb to stop them but his fear that Merlin would bolt made him cautious, "Tell me what's going on" A dry laugh escaped Merlin's lips as he took to looking at the hanging clock on his right wall.
"You know I've dreamt about this" he hissed, throwing his head back on the door. Screwing his eyes shut he swallowed, "Seeing you again…. What I would say," Arthur watched the struggle Merlin was having, every now and again he would tug at the wrists that were pinned to the door behind them, "At first I would have nightmares about hangings, burnings, being drawn and quartered" watching carefully Arthur tried to mentally digest the scenes that flashed across his eyes. Merlin crying for help atop of a mass of flames, scarring his skin or giving the command to four horses as Merlin is literally being torn into pieces, the roaring command to cease burned in his throat.
"You think I would actually have that done to you?" looking to him Merlin finally came to meet him in the eyes, this was important. Arthur needed to know if Merlin thought so lowly of him. That he thought that Arthur wouldn't risk his everything to save him.
"No" Merlin gasped, seeming to calm just a little. Willing his tears to dissipate, placing one of his well-practised smiles across his face, "It never crossed my mind that you would want to forget" it was no use, the tears wouldn't stop, "It's only because I wanted you to remember"
There he goes again, taking all the blame on himself! Arthur growled internally.
"That's a lie, I called you!" his anger radiated through his hands, gripping Merlin's arms a little too hard.
"It was magic that brought you back, the magic that you hate so much" Merlin said coldly, his mouth folding. "It's my fault" his whispered, straining his throat. "I stayed by Avalon lake, after I left Camelot, for years just watching the surface in case you ever returned" Merlin's eyes had turned distant, "Every day, for decades" Merlin's body went limp but Arthurs hold was relentless, "I grew up and grew old, over and over again, hating my existence" words tumbling out were proving hard to stop, "Just sitting by that lake knowing you were somewhere on the other side" Arthur imagined Merlin, waiting for him, staring into that empty waters, some days he would talk, other days he would sit in silence the entire time, there in hope. In pain. In loneliness. "But, it dried up eventually, and I faced the reality that there was no way you were coming back, so I left" Merlin had long stopped fighting, now he sat in silence, eyes fixed to a time long past.
"But I'm here, I'm right here" Arthur shouted, calling Merlin back to now, his eyes wide in shock.
"I know, and that's the problem" finding the fight that had escaped him, "Do you know how many times I saw your face over the centuries? Zero. Sometimes I believed my Camelot days were just a dream, that you were just some fantasy but then I'd see Gwaine or Elyian's face in the crowds and it would all come back" his jaw snapped shut, "Punishment, for not doing my duty, for failing our destiny" he spat through gritted teeth.
"Merlin, you did everything you could, everything in your power to protect me, and Camelot, I know that-"
"And yet you still died, because of my mistakes" he snapped, he had started thrashing again.
"Mordred killed me, not you" his shouts did nothing to calm him. He needed to be snapped out of this, thoughts that had been eating him alive.
"Mordred stayed alive because of me! It was all my fault" his voice was hoarse in his cries, "And this, this is just another method of torture" eyes spilling over, his gaze taken by the ground, "I can't believe you're real, that you're here, I can't" yanking his wrists away from Arthurs subdued grip he crossed them across his face in an attempt to hide, "This is just another drunken dream and I will wake up" his muffled whisper sobbed, "Dear god, why won't I wake up?!" he screamed, frustrated into his sleeves as Arthur watched wide eyed, his hands slowly dropping to his sides."I can't say goodbye again, not again, not to you" harsh words dropping down to a mere whisper, "When will it stop hurting?"
"Merlin!" Arthur said finally, the name rolling off his tongue like it had so many centuries before. Calm, even and dropping like lead between his sobs. It elicited no response as he watched his best friend curl up his knees to his chest and bury himself in his soaked sleeves. Each small cry tore at his chest, "Stop, just stop this" he found himself shouting, prying the arms away "I am here, I'm right here!" Merlin fought back but Arthur still proved stronger. Desperately he went for the tears, they needed to stop first. He needed to know that Arthur was here, he wasn't going anywhere, not without him, "You don't have to be alone anymore" he put his forehead against his, but Merlin was still in hysterics, godammit, just stop pushing me away "Merlin just-"
His brain stopped as he pushed forward, pushing his lips against Merlin's in a soft, chaste kiss. Frozen against him Arthur moved his lips, using the fat of his thumb to gently brush the tears still streaming down his face. Pulling away Merlin chased him, hungrily kissing him back, sucking his lower lip possessively. A hand had found the back of his head pulling him closer. A warm longing filled Arthurs veins as he pulled at Merlin's shirt, supple skin caressing his fingertips, he appreciated the small moan that escaped Merlin's blushing mouth as Arthur ravished it. Pushing his way into Merlin's mouth, their shared breaths became hot. Arthur moved his hands higher up Merlin's body and Merlin stopped. Slowly pulling away from Arthur kisses.
"Stop, we need to-"he whispered, his voice betraying him, "This isn't you Arthur; it's just your memories resonating with something familiar" He had finally stopped crying, but now he looked ashamed. Arthur hardened, Is it? Is it the magic messing with my head? If he wanted, this man could have me wrapped around his little finger. And yet he's here curled up on my floor crying like a little girl. The greatest sorcerer of all time, is an idiot.
"When I died, I was afraid. No, I was absolutely terrified. I had nothing left." Unsure of what was coming out of his mouth he continued, "My friends, my family and even one of my own knights had betrayed me. Even Gwenivere." He continued, "Even you" Merlin snapped up, "Your lies cut the deepest"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-" Merlin started sobbing again and Arthur internally chastised himself for speaking before thinking. "But beyond all of them, you were the easiest to forgive, if I were to be completely honest, I had forgiven you before you had even finished speaking" Arthur smiled, "Which I will deny if you ever mention that again" a small chuckle made its way out of Merlin and Arthur fought the urge to pat him on the head, "When that seer, fortune teller or whatever came to me, she claimed I had some unfinished business" piqued by Arthurs monologue , Merlin settled his chin on his knees, finally quiet but a few stray tears still rolled "I thought maybe it was to unite Albion but that has already been achieved without me, my knights and my people, well their descendants; are happy. That's all because of you." Arthur took the moment to place a strong hand on his shoulder and squeezed, "They have no need for me" set to capture his gaze, Arthur shifted his hand to cup Merlin's, guiding up to look at him. Eyes swimming, searching, "My unfinished business, is you"
Eyes widened slightly Merlin's breath stuck in his throat, "From the beginning to the end, you were always by my side and I made the gravest of mistakes by not being by yours" Keeping his gaze he placed their foreheads together, "One I shan't be making again" his fuelling desire pulled his words to a whisper as he placed another small kiss on Merlin's trembling mouth, "I will stand by you, if you will have me"
"No" Merlin's answer was immediate and felt like a cold bucket over Arthurs head, the Adams apple in Merlin's throat bobbed, "I have no right to-"
"Merlin" Arthur groaned, exacerbated "You are the only person, who has every right" his thumb had taken to swaying softly over Merlin's cheeks "Or are you willing to deny your king?"
"Idiot" Merlin whispered.
"Dollophead" Arthur muttered, stealing his mouth before he could protest any further. Hands wandered behind Arthur's neck, fingering his hair carefully before grabbing. Soft gasps for air were the only things between them as his hand started to dip between his shoulder blades.
"Not here" Arthur whispered prying himself from Merlin's grasp, standing up. Offering a hand to Merlin, for a second he wondered if he would take it. As soon as the trembling fingers filled his palm they were off, Arthur tugging Merlin along until they reached the bedroom where he twisted his heel. That was enough distance, enough waiting, clambering for his lips Merlin gave as good as he got. Sucking his lips Arthur licked at them waiting for the permission to go further, permission playfully given by a happy moan,"-off" he hissed tugging at Merlin's shirt, leaving him only just enough for him to remove the intrusive piece of clothing.
Short pushes lead Merlin to the bed. As soon as he was seated Arthur pulled off his own shirt, he could feel the gaze on him, licking at his body. Arthur slowly leaned down and kissed him, pouring all his passion into the feeling of Merlin. Creeping on top of him he could feel through Merlin jeans, which were pitching a tent all on their own.
"Wait-" Merlin sat up against the red sheets, pushing Arthur off of him "Wait a second" gasping for air, his mouth wrecked, "We can still stop" Glazed over by the sight, Arthur slowly registered what was being asked, "You don't have to do this" he frowned before balancing the thin line of his mouth.
"You're right" he nodded, wringing the shirt in his hand. Blinking slowly he watched Merlin whose intense stare turned wounded. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to" Arthur murmured quietly, "But if I am alone in that need then you have the opportunity to leave," Merlin's his expression became hard to read as he got up, causing Arthurs heart to sink. Had he changed his mind, was it all in Arthurs head? Oh god had he just misread everything and taken advantage of Merlin while he was vulnerable? Arthur searched Merlin eyes as he strode towards Arthur "There will be no hard feelings I promise yo-" with one swift move Merlin grabbed the back of Arthurs neck and pulled him in, nibbling slyly at his bottom lip. Damn when did he get so good? "So I take that there will be no more protests?"
"Shut up" Merlin smiled as Arthur rubbed his hands around Merlin's waist, tossing his shirt aside. He kneaded any flesh he could get his hands on, "more" stumbling forward Arthur guiding them back to the bed. Smacking him behind the knees Merlin fell back.
"How long has it been?" Arthur found himself whispering between kisses, his hips slowly rolling over Merlin's stomach.
"A while" Merlin groaned, his head tipping back.
"Define 'a while'" Arthur smirked, repeating the action causing Merlin's breath to hitch, "You mean never" Arthur had known enough virgins to know when he was dealing with one. Given this was the first time he had ever 'serviced' a man, the signs were all the same.
"No! Not 'never', just a while!" Bullshit, Arthur smiled. His reactions were too tender and fast. Hyperaware of Arthurs touches, like his fingertips were made of fire.
"A powerful sorcerer like you, never seducing anyone with magic" palming Merlin's hips he teased the sorcerer beneath him. Decorating the pale chest of skin with a kisses he could feel Merlin's blood pulsate hard and fast under his hands.
"No! That would be dishonest" he breathed, clearly trying not to come from just the feather-light contact.
"HA! That's so like you" undoing the zipper on his jeans, he yanked them off, "So I am your first" for a moment Arthur drank in the sight, a sight that no one, besides himself, had ever seen before "I like that" His fingers lingered around the elastic of Merlin's black boxers, this was the real test. No going back, he spared a look at Merlin who started down at him openly, his admiration shone through the crooked smile. This was the Merlin he remembered, the one who spoke only of adoration and love. This was his Merlin, all of him, only for Arthur.
Poking out his tongue he licked a strong stripe up the shaft of the thin cloth. The lewd moans Merlin made, fired a shiver up Arthur's spine. Pulling away the last bit of distance between them Arthur breathed a warm sigh. Taking in just the tip, his smile piqued as Merlin took in a sharp breath "Gods" Merlin shushed as Arthur hummed at the twitches Merlin made as he swirled the slit with his tongue. Brushing a warm gaze through his bangs Arthur watched as Merlin gazed at him, his iris blown. Opening wider he took down the entire length, feeling Merlin's entire body shudder. Bobbing his head up and down, he really was a virgin; his cries were getting louder, driving Arthur further. God he loved these sounds
"Turn around" his voice hoarse from lust Arthur guided Merlin onto his stomach, propping him on his knees, face down into the pillows. "Merlin" he breathed, trying to get his brain to focus on something other than the plump white flesh before him, his instincts told him to mark it, and a bite would befit such an area. "Can, um, can you get the lube? Top drawer"
"Oh" Merlin said flatly, his brain racing ahead to what was about to happen, gingerly he opened the drawer and found the small bottle. Weighing it up in his hand, the clear gel dribbled from top to bottom. A warm hand captured his, pulling his attention to the heavy body now draped on top of him.
"Don't look so terrified" Arthur whispered, placing a small kiss on his soft lips, prying the bottle out of his hand. "Trust me" Going against his previous judgement, he felt if Merlin could watch him he would relax a little more, otherwise this would be bad for them both. Gripping his thigh he flipped Merlin on his back, grabbing a pillow to balance his hips on. Squeezing the liquid over his fingers, Merlin was mesmerised, "Breathe Merlin" Arthur whispered leaving a deep kiss on him, distracting him away from the first finger pushing its way inside. Squeezing his eyes shut Merlin's face contorted in pain. "Merlin, listen to me, you need to relax" nodding slowly Merlin let go of the breath he was holding, adjusting to the uncomfortable sensation now spreading throughout his body. In and out, a rhythm that Merlin could follow, soon it became less about the pain but more about the timing, then a second finger and then a third. It became harder to remember how to breathe.
"Ah, there!" he stutter as Arthur pushed further, smacking a point where his body lit up like lightening. Merlin could feel his powers thrum under his skin and willed them to dissipate.
"Here huh?" a breathless smirk peered down at Merlin.
Retracting his fingers quickly Merlin cringed at the loss of the fill that he had become used to. Screwing his eyes tight he could once again hear the squish of the liquid being squeezed from its bottle. Holding his breath he prepared, gripping the sheets for anchor. Held by the back of his knees, he bit his bottom lip, tasting blood as pain surged up his spine.
"Mer..lin" all other words died on his lips. He was perfect, warm and tight. But he needed the nod, a word just anything before they could go further. Merlin's face was wrought with pain; stopping had been his only option. Maybe it was too soon after all-
"Ar…thur?" it was a question and an answer as a slender hand came to rest on his cheek, his eyes finally flittered open enough to give a cocked smile. Taking it in hand he kissed the wrist and repositioned it on his heart. With that he started slow, shallow thrusts. Slowly reaching further and further inside, pushing moans from Merlin throat. Slowly he abandoned his control for the fire burning in the pit of his stomach, "Arthur! Arthur!" punctuated whispers filled his head, each time growing stronger like a mantra. He gazed at the man coming undone beneath him, and there was nothing more beautiful "I love you" gold flashed his iris and for a moment they looked just as striking as the azure he had would come to call 'home' "Always, just you" this was him, all of him.
Arthur shifted, Merlin's arms were pinned to his sides but something was touching his shoulder. Twisting to look he felt the tinge flutter away, following the ice blue blur to Merlin's hair. The butterfly dusted its gold trails in the ebony locks before taking off again, a pair danced together before joining a few more. Together the flurry danced about the room, some taking refuge on the curtains, some on his desk, even some on his back. This was magic, Merlin's magic; he smiled placing his forehead against the flecks of bullion still in Merlin's hair.
Right for the start I knew, deep and buried beneath my pride and duty as a prince and king, that I cared for him much deeper than I ever would allow to be showed. The only one, who dug deep enough, who understood me even more than I did myself was the man I now held in my arms. His body- warm, fragile, and housed the greatest wealth of power the world had ever known.
"I know" Arthur hushed, "I know you do Merlin" his breath hitched as he leant in for a kiss, "And I, you. Always, it's always been you" When I lay dying, I wished of many things. Small things like the comfort of the next sunrise, the small pies after a good feast, an ale with the knights. But when this man, holding so tightly, asked me to stay with him, it was then I prayed to the gods, if they let me live again, that would be my sole purpose of my life. "And I vow, I will stay by your side, spend my life repaying the debt and the love you've given me"
"I love you, Merlin"