Title: Blotto
Author:TinaMustDie
Because you know somebody's gotta wonder.
"What would you call a Death Eater with an eating disorder?"
This was what awaited the staff at Hogwarts. Not a miniature Draco Malfoy, not a pampered snot. This.
"Death Nibbler perhaps?"
It was a beautiful night, stars twinkling clearly against the dark sky. Candles floated above the hall, casting a yellow glow on the proceedings below. The ghosts were spread across the room, shimmering in the light. The four house tables, polished and gleaming, held the older students dressed in their crisp, black robes. All was set to awe the brand new first years, waiting to be sorted. Unfortunately, the glamor was lost on them as the slight boy on the stool started talking. An eleven year old Scorpius Malfoy sat in front of the Great Hall,carrying on a conversation about the eating patterns of Death Eaters with the Sorting Hat, like it was something that happened everyday.
"Death Regurgitator?"
Headmaster McGonagall looked like the rest of the hall felt. Bewildered. She couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh, or check the boy into a mental facility.
"I mean, it just seems very ironic."
McGonagall abandoned her inner struggle, focusing all her energy on holding back a snigger.
"No, I see your point. I just think that a more appropriate name would be in order."
The Headmaster was near-tears. Scorpius, oblivious to her predicament, continued his debate with the hat.
"I think Death-rexic sounds a bit too much like dyslexic."
"Ravenclaw!" screamed the hat.
The Ravenclaw table groaned. Loudly.