This is the reply to the challenge posted on Pinocchio's forum, by onmicat, where the story had to be about something unusual falling in love, like an animal, or portraits, or house elves, or werewolves, or animagus in their transformed state. It's lots of fun to write so far, so here it is, my omni pairings fanfic: Dobby, the ladies man.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Harry awoke to the horrible stench of what seemed to be cologne, only with a bitter quality to it, like someone has left it for a couple of thousand years. It wafted into his sleep and made his eyes water, pulling him rudely back to consciousness much quicker than the incoherent squeaking and the nervous jabbing of his stomach did.
"Harry Potter sir?" Dobby's anxious voice made his eyes snap wide open, once and for all. Harry yawned, and pulled on his glasses, the image of the elf standing before him proving not to be a mere hallucination as it came slowly into focus, and nervous grin on his tiny face.
Harry sat up I bed.
"Dobby? What time is it?" he hissed, looking around the dormitory to see if anyone else was awake yet. They weren't Ron was still lying there, his head hanging off the side of his four poster bed, his mouth hanging slightly open. Neville's snores still filled the room dramatically, annoying anyone who was stupid enough to be awake at this time of the morning.
"One o'clock sir." Dobby said, bowing his head sheepishly and rolling his toe around on the bed, his hands behind his back, looking almost like a four year old that had been caught with one hand in the cookie jar.
It was only now that Harry had time to completely register the change in Dobby's appearance. The smell that had awoken him was only one of the changes in the elf.
He was wearing, as though for some kind of strange celebration, knee-high black sock, dotted strategically with tiny pink love hearts, and his chest was covered, not only by Ron Weasley's old jumper, but by a tie that had hearts on it to rival those ornamenting his toes, only these where coloured red.
The hairs that had once protruded from his ears were gone, and they appeared to be red and raw, and his face was surprisingly clean. Dobby even looked as though he were attempting to grow a moustache, and he was looking at Harry through a pair of tiny glasses, perched on his nose unnecessarily.
"Dobby…you look…er, nice." This was quite a kind statement for Harry to make to a house elf that had woken him up at this ungodly hour of the morning, without any obvious reason. It was also a complete exaggeration of the way that Dobby looked.
At these words, however, Dobby brightened up considerably, and seemed to glow with pride. His elation, however, only lasted for so long. He flopped down onto the bed, like a deflated balloon, and bowed his head.
"Dobby has come to Harry Potter for advice sir." Dobby said quietly. Harry looked exasperated, and groaned inwardly.
"At one in the morning Dobby?" he asked. Dobby looked guilty, and apologetic.
"Dobby is very sorry sir. Dobby will go and let Harry Potter sleep sir. Dobby only thought-"
Harry sighed, and grabbed the elf's arm to stop him from leaving.
"No Dobby, sit down, it's fine, I'm up now." Harry said, and Dobby smiled at him gratefully.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
"Dobby doesn't know where to begin Harry Potter sir." Dobby said, speaking to his hands, which, Harry noticed, sported carefully groomed fingernails.
"House elves don't normally…but I is not like a regular house elf Harry Potter, and neither is Winky…" Dobby's voice seemed to fail him. And he looked up at Harry solemnly, and Harry had to stifle a laugh at what he thought was coming.
It was then, this close, that Harry realised that the glasses Dobby was wearing had no glass in them. They were merely wire, with great holes for the eyes to peer through. Harry was confused.
"Dobby, what's with the glasses?" he asked. Dobby's knobbly cheeks flushed red, and he looked a little guilty.
"Dobby wanted to be a ladies man Harry Potter sir." He explained. "I thoughts to myself; who is a ladies man that Dobby knows sir? And then it came to me; Harry Potter and his Wheezy are ladies men, oh yes! Harry Potter is always being chased after by girls, and Wheezy has miss Granger!"
There was a grunt from the next bed, and Harry knew that Ron must be awake. He laughed. Dobby looked shocked.
"No Dobby, I wasn't laughing at you!" he reassured the elf. "Go on…"
"So I asks myself, what makes Harry Potter and his Wheezy such good ladies men? And I answers myself; I needs to look like Harry Potter sir!" Dobby's eyes were shining in anticipation, awaiting Harry's reaction to his seemingly ingenious plan. Harry surveyed the elf again. The glasses and the fact he still wore the jumper despite the socks and the long pants now made much more sense. The jumper even had an R on it. Harry tried desperately not to laugh, and, from the next bed, Ron transformed a hefty chuckle into a hacking snore.
"And why did you want to be a ladies man in the first place Dobby?" Harry asked, trying to be kind, his insides bursting with the insanity and the hilariousness of the entire situation, from the glassless glasses to the heart lacquered socks.
Dobby blushed even more furiously, and gave Harry a small, smitten looking smile.
"It is no use Harry Potter sir. Dobby has tried everything sir. It is no use at all. Winky would never love Dobby Harry Potter." Dobby hung his head, his bat like ears flopping down solemnly over his face, drooping like a wilted flower as he thought of Winky.
Harry, still fighting back laughs, gave Dobby an encouraging smile.
"And how is Winky?" he asked.
"She is much better Harry Potter sir! Dobby is having to take to her to the Room of Requirement less and less sir!" Dobby squeaked. He then looked guilty. "But in a way, that is a bad thing sir. Dobby shouldn't say, but he will miss not taking care of Winky sir. It is a pleasure sir, and when she is better then he will have to no more."
Harry grinned.
"I'm not really the greatest at these sort of things Dobby, to tell you the truth. Hermione is the one who normally does this sort of stuff."
"But sir, you is always bringing Miss Weasley down for dates in the kitchens sir. I is knowing, I is cooking for you sir! I is talking to you-"
Harry heard another loud snore like sound from the next bed and groaned. The place that he and Ginny would sneak off to was no longer a secret.
"Yes Dobby, but it took me six years to finally go out with Ginny! Trust me, I'm no prince charming." Dobby looked at him, pleading with his massive round eyes.
"Please Harry Potter sir. Will sir even talk to miss Granger about helping Dobby?"
Harry nodded. "Alright." Dobby let out a whoop, and attempted to throw himself off the bed and out the door, no doubt headed straight for the girls dormitories, but Harry held onto the back of his jumper.
'Dobby! In the morning! Right now, we need to sleep, you included." Dobby smiled at Harry, his eyes filling up with gracious tears. "Thankyou Harry Potter sir. Thankyou very much sir."
A/N: hehe, hope that you like it! Read the challenge, it's at pinocchio's challenges forum. Dobby's so cute. This wont be a long fic at all, maybe just a few chapters, it was going to be a oneshot, but I decided to post in bits, so here is the first one!
Luv Ella Evans
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