Dying internally

by LoverofEdward

A poem about the truth of what I feel. I can't tell you how hard I've tried to conceal it. But it hurts to hold it in. So I am letting it out. I wrote it but its not about me It made many people cry so if you dont like emotional poems, dont click.

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I feel lifeless and numb
like someone sucked everything out of me.
but its true
I hate them too
they hurt me far beneath the skin
made eyes pour with tears
and then I died again

internally it hurts
holding back everything Ive got to say
but maybe they will pay someday
somehow
someway

I can't think
my eyes blink
but my mind cant process what I feel
so numb
so will I seal the deal?

will I end this life of mine?
no says my mind but my heart says why are you even tryin?
but what about the dreams and hopes you've had?it fought back
they are all dead including the things I lack
your soul mates and sisters?it tried again
do I even have to begin?

I've died again.
and am counting down the days
until someone strikes to hard
until everything collapses when I'm not on my guard
when I was born everyone cried
and when I die someone will
but I will be happy in heaven
someday

I will be happy.

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