I don't own anything having to do with Gilmore Girls
I don't own anything having to do with Gilmore Girls
I wake up on Saturday morning to sunlight streaming in through the blinds and the sound of birds chirping outside the window. I roll over, reaching for my alarm clock on my bedside table, and notice that its green lights indicate that it is 7:30 AM – two hours earlier than I usually wake up on Saturdays.
When half-an-hour has passed, I realize that my attempts to fall back asleep are useless so I promptly get out of bed and make my way over to the bathroom to begin the morning routine that I have perfected over the years.
I don't know why but today I am feeling kind of weird. A strange feeling that I can't shake off has come over me. I walk into my kitchen and turn on the coffee machine and I am somewhat comforted by the liquid's sweet aroma wafting up my nose. When the machine beeps to signal that it's done, I pour myself a cup and start reading the paper.
The thing I look forward to the most about the Saturday paper is the super-sized crossword puzzle. It challenges me in a way that the other ones don't. I don't waste any time and immediately start working through it. For some reason though, I am having a little bit of trouble with it today. When I am halfway through the puzzle – trying to figure out what a five letter word for fable writer is – my eyes suddenly fall upon the obituary section and notice a name written in bold on top of a picture of a familiar face.
The crossword puzzle forgotten, I reach for the paper and gasp when I realize that my eyes were not playing tricks on me and it was indeed the face of my former boyfriend's best friend Finn written in the paper. I read the details and see that the wake is tonight.
As tears well up in the corners of my eyes, I want to believe that this isn't real. I want to believe that God isn't this cruel. He wouldn't take Finn away from Logan and Colin. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through right now. They've spent their whole lives being The Three Musketeers and now one of them is gone.
There is only one thing going through my mind while I walk around my room absentmindedly trying to figure out what you wear to a funeral. I have to see if Logan's okay.
I start making my way through the streets of Hartford trying to find the address that I had scribbled down on a napkin. I decide that it's time to call my mother and let her know what's going on with me right now.
"Hey mom" I say when she answers the phone after four rings. I was seriously contemplating just hanging up the phone. "What took you so long to pick up?" I could faintly here the sounds of my baby sister Emma's cry for food.
"Jeez, raising a newborn is hard work. Did you know that raising a newborn was hard work?" she asked me and I could only assume that she was picking Emma up because I could here her voice fading while she was adjusting to the baby's weight.
"Considering the fact that I've never had the chance to raise a newborn then I would have to say no, I didn't know that raising a newborn was hard work. How's Luke holding up? I don't think I've ever seen him as nervous as I did the night Emma was born" I say smiling as I remembered the look on my step-father's face when the nurse handed him the bundled-up baby just two weeks ago.
"He's doing just fine. He can't seem to get enough of my little angel. Well, can you blame him; she does have my eyes you know?" I can hear the happiness in her voice and love the fact that she has gotten her life together, finally settled down and gotten married to the man that we all knew she was made for from day one.
"No I can't blame him, she is beautiful" After a long pause I decide to just spit it out. "Listen mom, I kinda have some bad news"
"What's wrong honey?"
"Well I don't know if you remember Logan's friends Colin and Finn?" I ask her trying to stall for some time. I think that if I say the actual words it will all finally seem real.
"Uh, yeah, I think I met them once or twice. What's going on? Why the sudden interest in your ex-boyfriend's friends that you haven't seen in three years?" she asks and I know that she's trying to understand the situation.
"Well they were my friends too!" I say somewhat irritated because they really were my friends. We became so close when Logan and I were dating.
"Okay fine. Why the sudden interest in your friends that you haven't seen in three years?"
"Finn passed away today mom. I'm on my way to the wake now"
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry" I heard her say and I could tell that she truly meant it. She knows that I have never been okay with death. I was a wreck when Bambi's mother died. I cried for a week. "How's Logan holding up? Have you spoken to him?"
"No, I guess I'll just see him when I get there" I say already dreading it. "I mean, what do you say to a person who's just lost their best friend?"
"I don't know honey, I've never been in this situation before. But hey, my care package skills are still great!" she says with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
"Thanks mom" I say with a sad smile. I notice that I have pulled up the house where the wake was to take place. I double check the address and look up at the house sighing "I have to go, I just got here. Kiss Emma goodnight for me"
"I will. And honey? I really am sorry"
"I know mom"
I walk into the foyer when the maid answers the door and I am instantly greeted by a sea of black. I spot a few women and their husbands that I know from the DAR and I make a mental note to try and stay away from them. If they do notice me I will be pulled into a conversation of useless things and that is something that I am really not in the mood for right now. Normally this kind of chatter wouldn't bother me but today it's just too much.
In the corner, I notice a woman of about twenty-five clutching a three-year-old's hand with one hand and a tissue to her eyes in the other. She is being comforted by a man who is also teary-eyed. I can only assume that she is Finn's sister that I have heard so much about. I wouldn't know what to say to her so I decide against going to talk to her and continue to stare at her from my place by the bar.
I suddenly see someone walking up to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. I notice then that it was Logan and my breath suddenly catches in my throat. It felt as if my heart literally skipped a beat. He looks good considering the circumstances. His hair is a little longer than when I had seen him last. I would love to walk up to him and just start a normal conversation with him like I used to do all those years ago but I know that's not possible.
Suddenly, he looks at me. Right at me! And I have nothing better to do but lift my hand and wave like the moron that I am. He looks to the side and shakes his head a little like he doesn't really believe that I'm real. When he's finally convinced himself that I am not a dream he start making his way over to where I'm standing and I find myself freaking out. I have to resist the urge to clutch at my chest when he smiles slightly as he reaches me.
"Hi" I say. God, I really am pathetic!
"Hi" He says and for a minute we're just staring at each other trying to savor this moment. "What are you doing here?" He asks me suddenly
"Did you think I wouldn't come?" I asked and I can hear the sadness in my voice. If he honestly thought that I wouldn't come when I found out than he didn't know me as well as I thought he did. "He was my friend too you know"
"I know that Rory but it's just been awhile since we all saw you last" He says and I see hurt flash in his eyes. I don't really blame him either.
"Logan, I'm sorry about the last time we saw each other. I didn't want to leave things between us like that" I say trying to let him know that I really was sorry.
"That doesn't really matter now does it Rory. It's hardly the place to be discussing it either. As fun and carefree Finn was I really don't think he would have wanted us to spend our time at his funeral talking about our breakup. He wasn't really the type of guy who liked to share the spotlight" When he says this I can't help but laugh a little. I try to remember the good times.
"You're definitely right about that. I'm sorry you lost him Logan. I know how much he meant to both you and Colin" I say.
He's silent for awhile. I almost feel awkward just sitting there waiting for him to say something in return. Anything will do right about now.
"Thanks for coming tonight Rory. You look good by the way" he says and I think I see something flash through his eyes in that moment. Something that resembles, dare I say it, love.
"Uh, thanks. You look good too" I say rather pitifully. I can't believe that a journalist can't come up with something better. Where the hell did my education go?
"You wanna go for a walk?" He asks me catching me completely off guard.
"Um, sure" I say and once again I wonder why I am having so much trouble getting words out tonight. Thy vocab doth lacking.
We head out the patio doors and start walking on a path lined with little white flowers. I can't help but wonder what Logan and I are going to say to each other now that we find ourselves alone.
If anyone was wondering what the answer to the crossword was it was AESOP. Yeah, I didn't get that one either.
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