Hi to all!! Okay, so, I've never written anything like this before, and I have no idea how it will turn out. So please, please, please don't be too harsh with the criticism! Thanks!
Kurt's P.O.V
Battle Spec's hood refuses to open. Try as I might, I can't get it to budge. And it's not for lack of strength either. No, it's due to the fact that a certain Metal Maniac had wandered into the Teku garage and spilled a gluey concoction all over my car (accidentally, of course). The least Monkey could have done was give me something to get it off with. But no, he couldn't even do that. With numerous apologies he had retreated back to the sanctuary of the Maniac garage, muttering about how he'd have to start the formula again from scratch. It was a good thing Nolo or Vert weren't there to witness it. Otherwise, Monkey would probably be in the hospital wing right now, with Lani tending to him. Oh, he'd love that.
I am seriously irritated. Not only is it the middle of the night, but also I can't sleep and my car is disabled. Brilliant. Just peachy.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. Who am I kidding? I not awake at one o' clock in the morning to pry open the hood of my car (though believe me, the fact that I can't is REALLY pissing me off). My thoughts drift back to him. We'd had another fight today. Markie…
How could it have gotten so wrong between us? Two brothers who loved each other? Had loved each other. Oh god, how I wish it wasn't like this. I desperately want my baby brother back. It's killing me, the way we are. And the worst part is I know it's me who has made him like that. And it wasn't an accident.
I remember when we were kids. He used to follow me around, like a new puppy wanting to be fed, copying everything I was doing, wanting to be exactly like me. At times it was annoying, but mostly I didn't mind. I even started enjoying his company. Then we grew older. In middle school, I'd stop the bigger kids from picking on him and he'd swell with pride just looking at me. Nothing much changed when we'd gotten to high school. I was the cool, senior, captain of every sports team, whereas he was just my awkward, eager to please sophomore brother. My tag along. My sidekick. He didn't mind though. He relished just being in my presence, as egotistical as it sounds. He thought I was Superman. One hundred per cent indestructible. That's what he believed. And you know what? I let him.
I glare miserably at Battle Spec's gunk filled hood. It's pointless. I'd have to ask Doctor Tezla or Shirako to have a look at it tomorrow. But that would mean going to bed. I groan and open the door to the driver's side and sink into the seat. Its familiar and comforting, to say the least. I bury my face in my hands. I'm exhausted, yet I can't sleep. What is wrong with me?
"Trouble sleeping?"
Every muscle in my body tenses, then relaxes when I lift my head and see that it's only Karma.
"Something like that," I reply and look down at my hands.
She nods, walks over to Chicane, which is parked next to Battle Spec and sits in it.
"Why are you up?" I ask her.
She gives me one of her soul penetrating stares and says, "I heard something."
"Oh." We drift into an awkward silence. This conversation isn't going as well as I had hoped. Out of all the Teku, I think Karma is the only one who doesn't trust me. Nolo, I'm pretty sure trusts me. Vert is too busy trying to be everybody's MVP, but I guess he's forgiven me for the Zed-36 incident. And Shirako? Sure, his head is always full of heart pounding music but we're cool.
So what is up with Karma? She wasn't there for the whole Zed Thirty-Six thing, but she'd heard about it. I don't know why, but ever since we talked about Gelorum, it has become essential for me to prove my loyalty to her.
"We seem to be making a habit out of this," she says, her voice perfectly emotionless, her face as blank as possible.
"Of what?" I ask, intrigued, despite myself.
"Talking to each other alone, away from prying eyes." This time, her voice has a slight edge of amusement to it.
I laugh, it sounds hollow to me. She notices. "Better not let Taro hear you say that."
Her face colours a little. She is blushing. The Karma Eiss is actually blushing. I could use that against her someday.
"He isn't over Lani," she murmurs.
"You and I both know that's not the truth," is my response.
She simply shrugs lightly. " Speaking of me and Taro, what about you and Wylde?"
When I don't say anything she continues, "Vert says you were close."
I snort. "Were, being the emphasized word."
"Ah."
"Hm," I say, not really interested in talking about it. She takes the hint.
"You led the Street Breed before coming to the Teku," she trails on. "I heard they were tough."
"The best," I respond, and wonder what she is hoping to gain from this conversation.
"Was Wylde one of them?"
"No," I scrutinise her. "He was a Wave Ripper." This seems to surprise her.
"With Vert and Lani?" She's been doing her research. It occurs to me that is what she wants. Information. Why though? It can't be purely curiosity.
"Yeah. I didn't let him join the Street Breed."
"Why?" she asks regaining her composure.
I look at her. "It was too dangerous."
She lets out a bark of laughter. "This from the great Kurt Wylde? You do have a soft side after all."
"What, exactly, do you mean by that?" I question, my voice dangerously low.
"Only that you don't seem like the big brother type," she says, her expression unreadable.
"Yes, well, looks can be deceiving." What does she want? This idle chitchat is getting annoying.
"So true," she answers, smiling.
"What do you want Karma?" I finally ask, tired of the games.
She looks bewilderedly at me for a second. Then her cool, calculating gaze returns and all of a sudden I feel nervous. "That's your problem, Kurt. You assume everyone is out to get you. That they're all plotting behind your back. That if a person is good to you, it means they want something in return."
"I beg to differ," I say smoothly, before realizing she's right. It had never occurred to me she was just being friendly.
She rolls her eyes. "Answer this Kurt: Nolo, Shirako and Vert all trust you. Is it mutual? Think about it before you answer."
She stands up to leave.
"Karma. Wait," I abruptly stand. I don't know what I want to say or what I am going to do. Aside from which, I have to swallow my pride to get the words out. Which is a huge effort on my part. But I do want to know what I am doing wrong. I have to know the reason my efforts are never rewarded, because if I don't, I'm lost.
She pauses, her back facing me. "What?" she asks in a soft, low voice.
I hesitate. "How do I earn your trust?"
She turns around. Her piercing gaze never leaves me and I steadily look back, hoping I look stronger than I feel. She sits back down.
"You can start," she says slowly. "By trusting me."
"Easy enough," I say before I can stop myself.
She laughs, but she isn't making fun of me. "Is it really?"
I think about it. No, it isn't. but I don't say anything.
"Exactly," her mouth twists into a mocking smile. "You have trouble with it Kurt. You don't like taking risks with people."
The denial dies on the tip of my tongue. I don't know what to say.
"Not that easy, huh?" she asks, amusedly.
I scowl.
She drops the mocking tone and instead sounds exasperated. "Kurt if you don't trust your brother then how will he ever trust you?"
Any confusion I have is replaced by anger. How dare she? She doesn't know what it's like between Markie and me. She only really knows Markie by name. How can she think she can tell me how to handle this situation? I loathe her for it, but I loathe her even more for being right. It's been right in front of me all along. I can't believe I haven't seen it. It's so simple…but so challenging.
I nod slowly at first, but catch up speed. "Okay."
Karma has an odd look on her face. Then she gives me a slight smile and says "Get some sleep, Kurt." And she leaves.
I sit alone in my cars driver's seat for a while longer and think about what Karma has said, then I finally get up and go to bed. And this time as soon as I hit the pillow, sleep takes over.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It is the morning after my conversation with Karma. I am at the breakfast table with Nolo, Vert and Shirako, whose music is thundering out from his earphones. I can't remember the last time I felt so wide-awake, and aware of my surroundings. I hear everything clearly, and even manage to appreciate the bacon and eggs. Even Nolo and Vert, arguing about whether or not Taro is actually a 'secret samurai warrior' doesn't irritate me like it normally would.
"Dude, he can't be a samurai! They don't exist!" Nolo is saying.
"Then how do you explain how bloody athletic he is?" Vert retorts. "He freakin skied down Mt Everest.As in the tallest mountain in the world. Twice!"
"That doesn't mean he's a samurai!"
"Good Morning," Karma says smiling slightly, suddenly arriving at the table carrying a breakfast tray.
"Hey," Shirako nods.
"Morning, Karma," Vert says.
"Yeah, how's it going?" Nolo says without taking his eyes of Vert. "Man, you are so naïve. There's no way he's a samurai."
Karma's eyes lock onto mine and in that moment I know we understand each other. She nods and that is the only sign she gives. After she looks away she sits down next to Shirako. We barely acknowledge each other for the rest of the meal, though I know not to think anything of it. I roll my eyes at Vert and Nolo's debate. She smirks and adds the occasional sarcastic comment. It is a normal morning for the Teku, business as usual. Except now, I am finally starting to trust them.