August 6, 2018

I just want another chance...

My father's cold, red eyes sunk into my skin like a cattle prod. I sat there, in the dimly lit evening room of our "family" home, waiting for Father to speak. It never was hard to tell what he was thinking. I could see the disapointment and emptiness that filled his eyes. Each of his breaths eating up my own because, after all, he brought me into this world- and what did I bring him?

"What a disrespectful young man," Father tsked. He clicked his tongue and slowly paced around. Time had ceased itself for him. Father's handsewn leather shoes creaked against the floor as he walked- no- paraded. He took too much pride in his disgust with me.

"Yes, he really is," Mother chimed in. Her long, white hair was done up in a graceful bun and her face was misleadingly innocent. Placing a hand under her chin, she watched in amusment as Father circled around me.

Another chance to live... happily...

The hollow hole in my chest felt nothing anymore, as this embarrasment was mearly rountine at this point. Like brushing your teeth. I couldnt even have brought myself to care about what it was I had done this time. I think I convinced myself to believe that living was my punishment for, well, living. Being unable to uphold the family's reputation. Being unable to put myself before others. Being unable to accept that I am required to spit on those below me, those that make me who I am.

"We give you piano lessons, we give you money for school, we give you anything you could want."

Is that really so much to ask for?

Father's eyes narrow even further. He stops pacing and stands directly infront of me. I still don't know what I had done. I've barely spoken to them all month, whichis usually a delight on their end, and I still wind up in the bear's den.

I closed my eyes and listened to my heart beat... it was calm.

Only a few more days... then I'm out of here.

"But, despite the luxuries we award you with constantly, you have the nerve to tell Wes that you plan on running away?"

My eyes widen, and I look up at my father in disgust. Wes would never betray me like that... Never. He wanted to get out of this hell hole just as much as I did! My heartbeat becan to quicken now and I could feel the rage rising in my chest. Father noticed this. He chuckled.

"Strike a nerve?" He smirked, a smug and devious look on his face. I held back the urge to clock him right in his straight, pearly white teath.

That was it. That was the last straw.Mother giggled from her corner of the room, lounging now in Father's great leather chair, "What, no comment?"

"Wes would nev-"

"How eould you have any idea what Wes would do?" Father barked. "You hardly ever spend time with him, or us for that matter! You're a disrespectful and ungrateful little brat! We always knew you would never make us proud, but to threaten running away? Ruining our family name? After all we have done for you, all of the money for college to fund your rediculous dream of becoming a 'musician' instead of a business man like the rest of us?!"

He finally snapped. Not that I didnt expect it...

This is the last straw."Why should I be greatful? No matter what I do, I'll always been seen as aburdon on your prissy-ass, expensive shoes!" I spat. "All you care about it the family image?"

The room was starting to spin now. I coukdnt tell wallpaper from painting, windows from curtains- everything was beggining to be too much. I could feel myself slipping more and more into the pit my family had dug me into. Or... maybe it really was all my fault.

I had spent so much time trying to see straight again that I hadn'tnoticed my father had gone silent. Mother too. It wasn't until I finally opened my eyes again that he scoffed at my state.

"Look at you," he scoweled. "You're a monster, a freak. You dont belong in this household."

"All you could ever be to is a hassle. A disgrace to the family name," she sighed.

I fell silent as angry sweat dripped down my face. If they were going to kick me out, they should really just get it over with. You're doing me a favor, pops. Again, I stared at my father's leather shoes. At this point looking up at hin would be useless, I already know what he's going to say.

"I want you out of my house. You don't belong here."

His words continuted to beat away at my self worth. Every 'disapointment' another blow to my ego- if there was one anymore. I would say I felt relief, but I didn't. I felt... like a failure. I hadn'teven been able to run away the right way. Maybe I was useless.

Father straightened his tie, "We can't have this incident slandering us, however. Our competitors would use this against us, and you know we can't have that."

There he goes again, only woried about the family name...

"What you father is saying is that," Mother chimed in, "we're going to pay you. Keep you quiet. We're all going to act like you've simply grown wings and left the nest-"

Mother began to tear up quite fakely.

"So you're going to send me away?" I tried to sound angry, but this was a long time coming.

Father headed towards the door, but turned for one final statement. "You will go to our headquarters in Nevada and become the face of the branch. But no worries, you wont actually have to do anything. We hired an actual CEO for that. You leave tomorrow."

I will never be what you want...

...

Well, there it is. I recently read through my old fanfics and decided to write a new one! I'm going to try and keep this one going, hopefully. let me know what you think.-Penny