A/N: This idea came out of a random series of interactions with my friends. MLP has crossed over with so many franchises, but not this one. I declared that I would make the first one. I take full credit for this horrific abomination of a story. I don't own the respective franchises. Also, don't worry, I actually did some research on this in order to make sure I didn't offend any fans of MLP:FIM. Even so, this is a satirical story, so expect at least two breaches of canon. Have an excellent day!

"My Little Series Of Unfortunate Events"

by MiscellaneousSoup

On yet another dreary day, Violet, Klaus, and little Sunny were huddled together in Mr. Poe's office, bags packed, waiting to hear about their newest foster parent. Mr. Poe sat behind his desk, coughing wetly into a murky tissue and shuffling various papers around. Every so often, he would look up at the siblings and say that it would only be 'a few more moments', a phrase adults use when they really have no idea when the situation will be resolved.

Mr. Poe's mediocre banking office had only one extra chair, forcing the Baudelaire siblings to share the chair and desperately try not to fall off. Klaus sat on the left side, peering at some banking manuals on the other side of the room and wondering if he could read them. On the right side, Violet absentmindedly put her hair up in a ribbon, perhaps pondering some way of creating an expandable chair for use on vacations. Meanwhile, poor Sunny perched between them, partially sitting on both of their laps, looking like a small and glum bridge.

After what seemed like an infinity, Mr. Poe hastily shoved the putrid hanky into his breast pocket. "Now, now, Baudelaires. I can see that you are all very excited to learn about your new guardians." None of them looked very excited, with the exception of Sunny, but that may have been intestinal issues from attempting to gnaw on a rubber toy.

Seeing this, Mr. Poe awkwardly tried to gloss over the awkward moment. "Ahem, in any case, I have finally found a hometown willing to accept three young troublemakers, actually it's not really a town. You will be working in some kind of kibbutz. I hope you have warm clothing, Russia is a very cold state." Kibbutz is a word which here means a spot, typically in Israel, where local people and visitors both work to improve the hometown and perform physical labor, usually on a farm.

Klaus timidly raised his hand. "Excuse me, Mr. Poe, but kibbutzim are not normally in Russia."

Mr. Poe pulled out his handkerchief and started hacking. "Um, yes, quite so. In any case, I assumed that it's a kibbutz because I heard that you would be doing a lot of work with animals. I'm not sure what they meant, but you leave at once. Come, come, take your things. You have a train to catch."

As they left followed Poe out of the office, Sunny mumbled, "Cheergleefunga!", a phrase that meant, "Oh, I hope that we will finally have a delightful place to live!"

Violet nodded. "Our former foster houses haven't been the best. At least most of our foster parents tried their best."

Klaus shuddered, remembering the horrid days involving lumber. "Most of them, but not all. I just hope that Olaf won't follow us here. I wonder where we're going."

One train ride later...

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny exited the train, groaning and rubbing the various kinks out of their necks. They gasped in astonishment at the sun. It was glorious! So many of the towns were dull and cloudy, but the sun was astonishingly clear here! The grass was sweet-smelling, the air was fresh, and animals were prancing about! Wait, the animals were prancing toward them. What was going on?

One animal, a cream-colored horse walked up. "Hello, I'm Mayor Mare. We, the people of Equiestria, are going to take care of you. You know what they say, it takes a village to raise a child!"

Sunny, being a toddler, did not question the talking animals. Klaus and Violet, on the other hand, most definitely did.

"Excuse me, but what is going on?" Violet asked cautiously, trying not to spook the creatures. More horses were walking up, seemingly inspecting them.

Another pony chirped. "Hello! We're raising you. This is a magical land where ponies can talk and we are the dominant species!"

Klaus pushed his glasses up. "Assuming that we're not hallucinating all of this, what are you going to do about Count Olaf? He is an evil man who follows us in various disguises, trying to steal our fortune. He is greedy and cruel!"

Violet nodded. "And he has various associates! One of them has hooks for hands, two of them always have powdered faces, and one of them might be a man or a woman. We can't tell!"

Sonny said, "Amnesiac!", a phrase which here means "And many others, but we can't recall them at this time."

A pink pony raised one hoof. "Actually, you might not just remember, Narrator." In all my years of traveling across the country and researching the sad fate of the Baudelaire siblings, nothing as strange as that has ever happened to me. I feel very confused. I don't even know how that's possible, considering that that happened in the past. The pony shrugged. "Just go with it. My name is Pinkie Pie, by the way."

In any case, they slowly learned to accept their life among talking animals. They helped out the citizens and were rewarded with genuine human compassion. For the first time, the Baudelaires felt content. Of course, Count Olaf came along in two weeks, thoroughly muddling things up.

Mayor Mare was currently housing them. One day, she gathered them into the living room. "Good news, children! We have a new resident in town. You will no longer have to deal with the awkwardness of being the only new residents in town. Derrick Donkey has just arrived."

She pointed to a figure outside. A raggedy figure. A raggedy figure with shiny, shiny eyes. A raggedy figure with shiny, shiny eyes and a scraggly beard. A raggedy figure with shiny, shiny eyes, a scraggly beard, and a tattered donkey costume.

Pinkie Pie teleported out of nowhere. "You're getting repetitive, Snicket. Or, 'writer trying to imitate his style of writing.'"

Violet turned back to the mayor. "Excuse me, but that isn't a donkey. Count Olaf has arrived, in a rather pathetic disguise."

The mayor nodded. "In that case, I know what to do." She whistled. "HEY, SPIKE!"

Spike the dragon instantly flew over and ate Count Olaf, leaving a messy stain on the ground. Everyone cheered.

Sunny said, "Deus ex machina!", a phrase that here meant "Very anti-climactic, but hopefully funny."

THE END