A/N: This is just a little moment I couldn't get out of my head. It needed to wind up written, for me.
"Do you ever count your scars?" Ty Lee whispers as she touches the marks on Azula's skin. They are not naked or pressed against each other in the night. It is the first sweltering midnight of summer and they both are in minimal clothing with sweaty hair stuck to their feverish skin.
"I never thought about it," Azula replies distantly, her voice very far away. Ty Lee watches her with drooping eyelids and thinks about how there are too many scars to count and not enough to kiss.
"I used to be able to count mine," Ty Lee admits, looking at the marks. Some are from training to be a soldier, some are from training to be an acrobat, and others are from her parents. Azula's are awfully similar, save for those self inflicted. "You know, scars are pretty hot."
"Are you hot for Zuko now? Is this how you're trying to tell me?" Azula teases, an amused smile on her rouge lips.
"No, no. I am very hot for you. Scars and all," Ty Lee breathes in her ear. Her breath is warm and intermingles with Azula's in the dark night.
"Tonight is going to be long, isn't it?" Azula mumbles, squinting through the shadows at her ceiling.
She feels slightly weak within herself. Last night she had ceaseless nightmares, and today a hallucination she hid with the usual expertise. Because Zuko would worry and try too hard, and Ty Lee would be frantic and her heart would be crushed. Azula often does not know if she is worried about others, or worried about them perceiving her as weak.
Being treated as a broken teacup is much more painful than the actual affliction. Being viewed as someone sick and not someone is agonizing. But she ignores it, makes scathing and cold comments. Cruelty, malice, mockery, all words that help ease the pain and keep her from looking too hard into the mirror of her soul.
"You had a lot of nightmares last night," Ty Lee says softly, still tracing the outlines of moon white scars. Azula finds the electric touch more than welcome as it burns her skin. "I could feel you."
"They're my business," Azula snaps and Ty Lee's hand falters. The smooth motion stops and Ty Lee does not know if she should proceed. Azula confuses her, confuses her beyond belief. "Stop getting so involved."
Some nights are long, some nights are longer.
"I am involved, you know?" Ty Lee says and Azula's eyes flash. Never once has Ty Lee stood up to her, and Azula does not like it. "I am involved because you chose to make me a part of your life. I want to be with you until the end. I want to grow old with you and if you want that too, you need to open up to me."
Azula is silent. She does not have the words to say in her vocabulary. All she knows is that she does want that too, but she is incredibly afraid to say it. Ty Lee stares at her, waiting for the answer. Her lip trembles and Azula hates how Ty Lee does not hide her tears. It makes it hurt all the more when she cries. Azula locks herself away when she cannot control it. Ty Lee has no want for control over her emotions.
"I..." Azula struggles. Ty Lee moves to get up and walk away. And Azula grabs her wrist and pulls her back. "Sometimes I count my scars."
Ty Lee looks at her and realizes it means more than the words do on the surface. It is her opening. It is her offering her vulnerability, and Ty Lee knows that is more significant than a thousand casual and careless I love yous that mean so little.
Azula waits for a heartbeat, wondering if she made the wrong choice. And Ty Lee presses her lips against Azula's, sinking into the kiss on the creaking red mattress.
They lie there in silence.
Tonight is less long than Azula thought it would be.