He was trapped, in a bed of his own making. Smothered by the heavy weight on top of him, every breath was a struggle. Pinned in place, he was unable to even squirm away. He fought long and hard to get out of the position he was in, but in the end he hadn't had much of a choice.
It was one of his worst fears come to life, being trapped in a situation with no control to call his own. Living as he had when he was a child, ignored and unwanted by his parents, forced to do whatever they wanted in order to maintain appearances, had forever shaped him. Tony never wanted to be in that condition again. He had left, gone off to make his own destiny, let his choices take him wherever they would.
Becoming a cop had had as much to do with distancing himself from his parents as it did with wanting to help people. Yet he had never stayed in one place for too long, too frightened of what might happen. Tony didn't want to get too accustomed to his surroundings, his community, or his coworkers. To do so would tempt fate, would bring the possibility of becoming too well known, too vulnerable to attack. So after a while, he left, his feet leading him away to another destination, answering an unconscious itch to gain distance.
Other people his age talked about settling down, starting families, putting down roots. None of this appealed to him. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. Getting too used to a situation, enjoying it too much, would make it all the more devastating when it inevitably fell apart. Tony might crave stability and support, but he wasn't going to take the risks that opening himself up would cause. And so he moved on, from one location to another, trading one job for another when people started to get too close.
Then he started working at NCIS, and even more importantly started working for Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tony had entered the job thinking it would be like everything else. Boy that misconception had been quickly shattered. There was just no way of hiding from the man, no way of keeping secrets from him. The more he had tried, the more Gibbs had seen through him. His boss might never discuss it, but he knew Tony better than anyone else ever had. It had worried him, but he had decided that he would try to give this job the same 2 years as all the other ones, and if he decided to leave earlier, well there was nothing wrong with that.
But then those two years came and went, and Tony had never felt more comfortable or at home. He hadn't really wanted to leave, yet he considered it anyways because if there was one thing his teammates were it was a family, and he of all people knew how much power and how likely family would hurt you. He had had two years of happiness, it was time to leave, time to go before his memories of this place and these people were tarnished. Only he had never really had the option of leaving, was trapped in place by a force he couldn't control.
He was trapped, in a bed of his own making. Smothered by the heavy weight on top of him, every breath was a struggle. Pinned in place, he was unable to even squirm away. Covered from head to toe by Gibbs holding him in place, somehow afraid that he would leave while he slept. He fought long and hard to get out of the position he was in, but in the end he hadn't had much of a choice. And there is no other place he would rather be.