Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi (if I did...oh, who am I kidding? I'd still be writing fanfiction.)
A/N: Hello there! Welcome to As Long as I'm Breathing. This story is AU, and will grow into it's rating in later chapters. Here we find Clare and Eli only a year apart, Eli getting ready for college and Clare for senior year. This story spans the summer and the year after that, as they go from being inseperable to a long distance relationship, testing the true boundaries of a fastly-found love. I hope you'll enjoy it; I have great things planned for this story and your support means the world :) If you have any questions, feel free to leave one.
Note: I originally had this fic posted on a seperate account, so if you've seen it before, know that it is indeed MY fanfic.
As Long as I'm Breathing
-Prologue-
It was just the very beggining of June when I first saw him - Elijah Goldsworthy, to be exact. I remembered clearly that it was the very day Degrassi let out for the summer when my eyes spotted his unusual attire clear across the room. In those very first few moments, he was nothing more to me then a seemingly lonesome stranger, sitting at a deserted table in the farthest corner of The Dot. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that his gaze met mine seconds after looking at him, my eyes would have scanned over him and moved back to my coffee that had long grown cold. If his own hadn't been such a vivid, beautiful mix of hazel and green, I might have been able to look away, and continued about my business. I would have soon walked out of The Dot, and spent my summer before senior year peacefully and uneventfully.
I may not have known his name then, but those first few moments changed my life forever. Because I was not able to tear my gaze from his, not even as my face heated up and his lips tilted in a crooked smirk that would forever be etched in my memory. Those few intense seconds were the beggining of everything, everything I had ever dreamed about or imagined. They were the beggining of the best summer of my life - and a love so fast-paced and intense that sometimes I wondered how one person could feel so much.
Those first few moments turned my world upside-down, and though sometimes I wanted to despise them, I knew I owed them everything.
We experienced a lot together in those three months, before he left for college. A lot of firsts, a lot of feelings that we had never been able to feel before. I had never believed in the fairy-tale type of love, not at all, but somehow I got to live it. For a while, anyway.
The summer wasted away, and we wasted away with it. Our days blurred together, as we spent time wrapped up in each other. I fell so hard, so fast, that it was disorienting at times. Because Eli Goldsworthy was beautiful, and passionate, and loving, and everything else that I had ever wanted. I knew I was in love that day we had out first fight - I had never been so angry at someone in my life, and yet, somehow, when he kissed me, the anger dissapated and I was left nothing short of breathless. Something inside of my head turned, and it suddenly became clear to me just how hard I had fallen in such a short amount of time. It was wonderful and scary and amazing and infuriating, even, all at the same time. It wasn't perfect, nothing is. It came close, though, and I wanted it to last forever.
But nothing lasts forever, I'm convinced. Things change, sometimes in the blink of an eye and sometimes so slowly that you don't even notice until it's pointed out to you. And people change, too. People change and feelings change, and there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to hope that one day you'll be able to accept it and be happy again.
That's what my grandma always told me, and that one day, it wouldn't hurt so much that I lost the love of my life. But sometimes, when you feel that much for a person, it won't ever go away. Even after years and years, and years, even if you're happily married with a beautiful family - you know deep down inside that you'll never love anyone as much as you loved him. You will never feel as raw and passionate as you did with him, will never be able to feel the very same. And that small part of your heart that they claimed long ago will still ache dimly, every time they cross your mind.
Sometimes, it's impossible to let go of someone, even if they're not yours to keep.