Bella's Pov
Flashback
"I'm sorry Bella I can't do this to you anymore were leaving" Edward said to me.
Then he was gone.
I can't belive he just left me!
Someone was coming "Edward?"
It was Victoria "He left me so just kill me now."
"I'm not going to kill you" Victoria said "but I am going to change you into a vampire he dosen't want you to be one so here I am."
I didn't have time to reply she came up to me it look liked she was kissing me, and bite my wrists, my throat, into the crease at the inside of my arms.
End of flasback
The warmth beside my heart got more and more real, warmer and . The heat was so real it was hard to belive that I was imagining it.
Hotter.
Umcomfortable , much to hot. Like grabbing the wrong end of the curling iron-my automatic response was to drop the
scorching thing in my arms. But there was nothing in my arms. My arms were not curled to my chest. My arms were dead things lying some- where at my side. The heat was inside me.
The burning grew-rose and peaked and rose again until it surpassed anything I'd ever felt.
I felt the pulse behind the fire raging now in my chest and realized that I'd found my heart again, just in time to wish I never had. To wish that I'd embraced the blackness while i still had the chance. I wanted to raise my arms and claw my chest open and rip the heart from it-anything to get rid of this torture. But I couldn't feel my arms, couldn't move one vanished finger.
James, snapping my leg under his foot. That was nothing. That was a soft place to rest on a feather bed. I'd take that and be grateful.
The first balzed hotter and I wanted to scream. To beg for someone to kill me now, before I lived one more second in this pain. But I couldn't move my lips. The weight was still there, pressing on me.
I realized it wasn't the darkness holding me down; it was my body. So heav. Burying me in the flames that were chewing thier way out from my heart now, spreading with impossible pain my shoulders and stomach, scalding their way up my throat, licking at my face.
Now it seemed like a hideous joke that I was getting my wish fulilled.
All I wanted to was die. To never have been born. The whole of my existence did not outweight this pain. Wasn't worth it for one more heartbeat.
Let me die, let me die, let me die.
And, for a never- ending space, that was all there was. Just the fiery toture, and my soundless shrieks, pleading for death to come. Nothing else, not even time. so that made it infinite, with no beginning and no end. One infinite moment of pain.
The only change came when suddenly, impossibly, my pain was doubled.
The endless burn raged on.
It could have been seconds or days, weeks or years, but, eventually, time came to mean something again.
Three things happened togther, grew from each other so that I didn't know which came. Time restarted, and I got stronger.
I could feel control of my body come back to me in increments, and those insrements were my first markers of the time passing. I knew it when I was able to twitch my toes and twist my fingers into fists. I knew it, but I did not act on it.
My hearing got clearer and clearer, and I could count the frantic, pounding beats of my heart to mark the time.
I could count the shallow breathes that gasped through my teeth.
I could coount the low, even breaths that came from somewhere close beside me.
I continued to get stronger, my thoughts clearer.
Half a second later, the pain changed.
On the good- news side of things, it started to fade from my fingertips and toes. Fadeing slowly, but at least it was doing something new. This had to be it. The pain was on it's way out....
And then the bad news. The fire in my throat wasn't the same as before. It wasn't only on fire, but I wa now parched too. Dry as bone. So thisty. Burning fire, and burning thirst...
Also bad news: The fire inside my heart got hotter.
How was that possible?
My heartbeat, already too fast, picked up- the fire drove in rhythm to a new frantic pace.
The fire retreated from my palms, leaving them blissfully pain- free and cool. But it rtreated to my heart, which blazed hot as the sun and beat at a furious new speed.
My wrists were free, though, and my fire was totally extinguishe there.
My heart took off, beating like a fire flared up in the center of my chest sucking up the last remnainte of the flames from the rest of my body to fuel the most scorching blaze yet.
My back arched, bowed as if the fire was dragging me upward by my heart.
My heart galloped toward it's last beat.
The fire constricted, concentrating inside that one remaining human organ with a final, unbearable surge was answered by a deep, hollow- sounding heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more.
There was no sound. Not even my breathing. For a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend.
And then I opened my eyes and gazed above me in wonder.