Disclaimer: Don't own MASH

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The 4077th MASH was wild with excitement, especially the doctors. Everyone had heard about one of the most famous doctors in the Korean War--Major Kozlov-- coming to the camp. They all wanted to see his surgical technique and the bravery that made him so famous. When the jeep pulled into the combound, everyone was amazed. Word got around fast. Before Major Kozlov could even enter Colonel Henry Blake's office, three doctors and a nurse came running. "Colonel Blake, why wasn't I informed that a new nurse was coming?" Major Margeret Houlighan demanded. "I'm in charge of the nursing staff."

"Well, Major, it's because I--" Major Kozlov started.

"New nurses," Captain "Hawkeye" Pierce said, grinning. "We love 'em new."

"But I'm not a--"

"We really do," Trapper John McIntyre said, sharing Hawkeye's grin.

"Everyone, just settle down," Henry Blake snapped.

"I'm Hawkeye Pierce. And that's Trapper."

"Hi. I'm, uh, I'm Katarzyna Kozlov," she replied, frowning in confusion. "But, as I've been trying to say, I'm not a nurse. Which is why I didn't report to you, Major. I'm sorry, but it's just that, well, I thought everyone would know me. I'm Major Kozlov, surgeon actually."

Trapper and Hawkeye looked even more impressed by that. As surgeons themselves, they loved to see any woman who knew anything about surgery. Margeret was on their list too. While their pranks suggested otherwise, they were usually impressed with her work. But a woman doctor? A surgeon more than that. Everyone knew the work Major Kozlov had done. She was certified in both general and chest surgery. She was one of the surgeons that helped cut down on amputations by transplanting arteries. She worked exceptionally fast and her work was known for her good quality. Her father was a four star General and a great surgeon, which is how she got her start. Everyone knew the story, just as well as Katarzyna did. Aside from being a great surgeon, she was stunning!

Dark brown hair, long and curly, but it was braided. Her eyes were blue, contrasting her dark hair. She was tall and slim. Her cheekbones were high and her lips were full. She also seemed generally pleasant and a sweet girl.

"Oh..." Margeret exclaimed. "Well, welcome to the 4077th! It's wonderful to have you here. I hope we can all learn something from you."

"Thank you. I'm glad to be here, and I'm glad to have such a warm welcome."

"Attention! Attention. All personal, incoming wounded. Report to OR on the double," Corporal Radar O'Reily said over the speaker loudly.

Katarzyna ran just as fast as any of the others to the post operation ward. She took the first sink and scrubbed much faster than any of the other surgeons. Trapper was glad to be at the table with her working on a chest case, even though he wasn't certified in chest surgery, and Hawkeye was. "Gimme some suction here," she told the nurse quietly. "And a rib cutter."

Trapper found it was hard to keep up with her. She worked uncommonly fast, but she slowed down when it was needed. She never hesitated either. She knew the surgery as well as a simple operation. However, they were removing shrapnel from a nineteen year old boy, who was barely alive.

By the end of the shift, they were all exhausted. They had handled dozens of cases and no one worked harder than the surgeons. But it was Katarzyna who said she was off to go to bed. Unfortunately, that meant both Hawkeye and Trapper struck out in trying to get a date with her that night. "I even lost my other date for tonight for her," Trapper said once they returned to the Swamp, their tent. "Now I don't have anything to do."

"Get another date," Hawkeye suggested. "It won't be too hard after all that hard work you did in surgery today."

"Harder than it will be for Frank to get a date tonight," Trapper muttered furiously.

Major Frank Burns looked at Trapper in anger. "You... you... you... GUYS!" he said and stormed out of the tent.

Trapper and Hawkeye laughed together. It was one thing that was so common among them, even during a horrible war. They always found something to laugh at. And most of the time, it was Frank who suffered.