Chapter 1:
Finn the King woke up to the strange admixture of familiar scents and the strange feeling of standing next to a fire in the cool out-of-doors on a winter day. Opening his eyes, he found Simone's big flesh-pillows pressed into his chin. Behind him, he felt rather than saw Phoebe's plump knockers pressed into the back of his head. It had been kind of a crazy night. The two best-friends had jumped him, just like the night after he'd been chosen Warlord of Ooo. Phoebe had jumped him in his office that night, and Simone had happened on the scene while they were going at it and watched the whole thing from outside the room. Simone had gotten hot enough that she'd proceeded to fuck his eyeballs out after Phoebe went back downstairs to the furnace.
The pair of them had ridden him like a horse for more than an hour last night, taking turns like he was a favorite toy. They'd actually kibitzed while they were doing it. It had been raunchy and nasty. Finn had zonked out on them, awakening hours later to the weird feeling of being cold on one side and hot on the other. "Mmm, morning, honey," Simone burbled. The feel of her knobs rising and falling as she breathed gave him an instant boner. "Oooh," Phoebe cooed, as she teased his meat with the tip of her finger. "Somebody woke up refreshed!" Simone tittered at that.
"I'm afraid he's not going to have the time," announced Bonnie. Both women glanced up to find the busy-body standing in the doorway, dressed in full Princess-Regalia. With a groan, Finn extricated himself from the potential pile-on. There was work to be done. Bonnie was right. Much as it might have been tempting to have the two of them fuck him half-to-death again, he just didn't have the time. He'd missed a lot of work while he was tracking the Bandit Princess. Shit was piled up now, and he had to get back to it.
Not merely satisfied with interrupting the looming tryst, Bonnie followed Finn into the bathroom, spouting off a litany of negative news regarding the state of things in the Peanut Kingdom, out on the border with the wild lands, and in the former Wildberry Kingdom. Standing outside the shower, she shared out a ration of negative news about the conditions in the ruins of the Elbow Kingdom. And, of course, she was still irritated with his castle-building exercise out on the coast. It was a boner-killing onslaught that had Finn wanting to crawl under the bed rather than back into it. By the time she got done and left him alone to wash, he felt like a failure more than a King. He just hoped Orzsebet was having more success tracking down the author of a lot of his drama.
Hundreds of miles away, a cabal of humanoids sat in darkness pondering a question of critical importance. The FIRM was teetering on the brink of civil war just now, with several factions arguing over the spy-organization's future. The FIRM had survived the dark times of the apocalypse by banding together in the ruins. The importance of espionage had only increased in a world dominated by nasty little warlords and ugly tyrants. With the great nations of the world gone–blown away by mushroom clouds–the spies had gone to work for themselves, selling information to anyone who paid the fee.
Until the rise of the King of Ooo.
Finn the Human had never been a friend of the Hidden Kingdom. He'd thwarted the FIRM on numerous occasions by unmasking their agents and killing their patsies. He'd been a force of chaos far more potent than the FIRM had been. He was, after all, the man with nothing to lose. He was the archetypal grey-man, with no past, no family to ransom, and no wealth to hold hostage.
There had been hope that would change when he was elected King. He had skin in the game now. He had lands to protect and people who could be used as levers against him. Orzsebet had gone to negotiate with him in person. Far from playing the game with them, as their leader had suggested, he'd gone for the jugular. Instead of making hay selling critical information to the highest bidder, the FIRM had been shut out of one side and wholly dependent on the side that was violently unstable. It was every variety of not good.
Many in the FIRM placed the blame firmly on Orzsebet's slim shoulders. Of course, that was, more or less, the point. The Lord or Lady of Spies was a figurehead–empowered to make critical decisions in the absence of the Committee. Of course, the Committee could easily disavow those decisions and hold their 'leader' responsible for them. More than one Princess of spies had been outed and handed over. A few Princes had been brutally murdered by their own people. The Committee replaced them and moved on. The Lord of Spies was the ultimate patsy–somebody who could be disavowed when the going got really rough.
The trick now was, 'what to do?' They'd thrown in with Wildberry's faction and seen that faction fall completely apart. They'd found themselves thrust into the hands of Finn's faction, but Finn was hardly interested in paying them for their information–certainly not at a price they were happy with. And pretty much no-one was excited about the idea of being shackled to one man's pride.
Just now, even Zeus seemed to be feeling the strain, as he sat there at his table, staring into his glass as if staring at an abyss. As his colleague continued to bleat on about breaking ties with Finn the Human, the nominal leadership figure of the Committee lost his patience. "Get to the point, Damien," growled the irate mutant. The Muscle-Kingdom's top spy glared at his colleague, and he grated, "it's gross disrespect to address me by my name instead of my code-name..." But it said something about the tension in the room. Damien had pushed this. He'd egged them on to arrest Orzsebet. He'd been tireless in promoting the idea.
The man known as Apollo had preached that they could get things back to normal when their Archangel was gone. They could open negotiations for their information with both sides, favoring neither and gaining from both. Damien Vega had promised that everything would be alright. Now, with Orzsebet sitting in a cell, her body wracked with injury from beatings and torture, the members of the Committee were waking up to an unpleasant reality. They still had no leverage on Finn the Human. His edicts regarding his people had made it crystal clear that he was a man willing to commit wholesale murder on those who wronged him. And an unpleasant question had gotten asked by one of Orzsebet's few remaining allies. What if the Agent Princess held the King of Ooo's favor?
Damien had no answer for that. He'd shouted the question down whenever anyone raised it. But the question couldn't get un-asked. Once placed in the minds of the Committee's membership, it had begun to fester like a particularly nasty disease. Doubt had begun to erode their confidence. What if that nasty video wasn't an insult to the Lady of Spies? What if it was a warning? What if Orzsebet truly was the King of Ooo's plaything? What then? If they disposed of her, how would he react? And what other fiendish little toys might he have at his disposal beyond his machine-army?
The gathered spymasters were having trouble deciding on what to do, just now. Damien had been pushing for a vote for days. He'd presented the gathering with salacious stories–backed up by more than the usual flimsy evidence. Orzsebet had been a naughty little bitch. She had money squirreled away in secret bank accounts–money that belonged to the FIRM. She had revealed secrets of the organization's inner workings to their enemies. Many of those things should have cost the bitch her head. But there were those dangerous feelings again.
There were rumors that Finn the Human had rounded up the mercenaries who'd assaulted one of his wives and put them to death in a most ugly fashion. Rumors suggested that maybe he'd feted the woman with fine food and drink, while they listened to those men being tortured to death. As with so much that was going on with the so-called Hero of Ooo, those rumors were likely inflated, but that meant there was truth there. And that led right back to the question. Did the King of Ooo find value in Orzsebet? How much? And what did that mean for the Committee?
Rolling a drinking glass back and forth in her hands, Hera declared, "let's lay this thing flat. Let's lay out everything in favor of Orzsebet's death. Lay it out against the risks we face in provoking Finn the Human. That's the only way we're going to settle it. We'll lay out the risks against the reward, and we'll vote. All in favor, say 'aye'."
Meanwhile, the subject of much of the Committee's endless maundering, had launched himself into the business of the day. The leaders of the Turtle Kingdom and Elbow-Kingdom-in-Exile had dropped in on him. The turtles were looking for a similar concession as the one the wood-nymphs had gotten. They wanted a franchise on the antiquities trade, with right of first-refusal over any newly-discovered artifact. The Elbownians wanted the same concessions the Fire-Elementals had gotten. They wanted to resettle their population until their lands recovered. Both requests were world-shaking, leaving Finn feeling like he was on the spot.
He'd been horse-trading with his wife, doing what he could to help her when he offered her a concession on the sex-trade. He'd offered the nymphs something valuable to them that harmed nobody except the criminal underworld. There were no legit whore-houses in Ooo outside the Grey Forest, after all. He thought he'd been on pretty solid ground there, and Cherry had been happy to give up the sex-trade to clear red-ink from her karmic ledger. Telling the treasure-hunters of the world–telling the sleuths and relic-mongers–that they couldn't deal in artifacts was a big deal, especially for a man who'd raided his share of forgotten tombs and palaces.
And that didn't even get into resettling all the Elbownians. That was another dangerous risk. Knowing what Flint had tried to pull on the civilized kingdoms, Finn expected that there would be little appetite for accepting another migrant population. He risked damaging the fragile peace, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do to fix things. They'd kept the pressure on him, and Bonnie had gleefully piled on because she'd never really liked the relic-hunters and dungeon-crawlers. They were agents of chaos who often wrecked ancient sites that she could have exploited to expand her knowledge of science.
Finn had put them off. He'd put them off in favor of digging into the other problems he was facing, promising to return with an answer in the afternoon. Then he'd retired to his office to do anything but think about the problems they'd brought him. He had some ideas and things he had been pondering during the endless chase in the east, and he wanted to get them down on paper while they were fresh in his mind. Summoning his secretary the King of Ooo did his best to push his worries aside and focus on what he felt had to get done.
Unfortunately, quiet was a thing Finn would find to be in short supply today. Breakfast was seated on Finn's lap, taking notes, when a breathless Lollipop rushed into the room an hour past lunch. The King of Ooo had been in the middle of dictating a letter to Tequilla Princess, touting the advantages of formally joining his coalition. He was committed to peace through formation of a world-spanning government to mediate problems. It was an astonishing development for a man who'd been dismissed as a buffoon most of his life. Bonnie had been far too busy pursuing her experiments and hobbies to bother once she had her immediate surroundings secure. Breakfast was at once shocked, proud, and a little embarrassed. In the face of all that, she felt inadequate as wife of a king. Simone made a far better wife for a king than she did.
"Hey, babe," Finn greeted the sexy treat as she caught her breath. "Delegation," she huffed. "Muscle Kingdom... *puff* want to talk... *puff* Billy..." Finn felt a chill. His son had lost his temper with Nieve. He'd sanctioned her for what she'd been doing. Finn had feared a negative reaction. Apparently the reaction had finally arrived. Nudging Beeps off his lap, the King told his wife, "get the cabinet together. Everybody who's here." Rising, he told his secretary, "need you to sit in on the meeting. Take notes. I'm gonna' need them later." "Yes, darling," she murmured.
An hour later, the King of Ooo sat himself in Bonnie's audience chamber. The whole of the cabinet was gathered around him. Also in attendance were the Turtle Prince and the Leader-in-Exile of the Elbownians. With a nod, he directed Peppermint Butler to lead his visitors in. The candy person turned and tugged the doors open, ushering a half-dozen members of Muscle-Kingdom royalty, including a rather somber Princess Nieve. Wearing a demur blue dress and a veil, the young woman looked the picture of an aggrieved girl. Finn sat up straighter. This was going to get interesting fast.
Far from stepping forward to harangue him, Nieve actually stood to one side. Instead, an older woman stepped forward in her place. Though clearly older, she was thin and shockingly fit. Finn could see the family resemblance, as the older woman dropped a curtsy. This was Nieve's grammy, and Finn felt embarrassed again–like his kid had beat up her kid at school. His eyes flicked to Nieve to find her staring at the floor. The older woman quickly drew his attention back to her, declaring, "I am Odessa, Princess Dowager of Muscle Kingdom. I am come before the Crown of Ooo to offer a proposal..."
It was hardly what the King expected. In the breach where Finn struggled with a response, Bonnie, who'd been irritated with Billy for essentially beating Nieve's ass like a naughty child, responded, "the King will hear your proposal..." Nodding graciously, Odessa responded, "there has been much recent unpleasantness between our Royal Clans. These disagreements have been as much about Royal Pride as real reason. In hope of future peace, I hereby propose alliance by marriage between my granddaughter and the King of Ooo's firstborn heir."
Finn was stunned.
For the first time in more than a decade, Bonnie found her Champion flabbergasted. He sat there staring as if he couldn't have heard that. He was in shock, but she could tell that the uncomfortable silence was starting to irritate the Princess Dowager of the Muscle Kingdom. Nieve's grandmother was reaching out a hand in peace, but that could quickly get converted to something else. Rising, Bonnie said, "we're flattered by Your Highness's offer. Rest assured we will consider this most gracious suggestion with gravity and sincerity. Expect His Majesty's answer in one week."
Recovering from the uncomfortable silence, Odessa bowed to Finn. Graciously, she said, "I believe you will find our offer most satisfying, Your Majesty. I look forward to receiving your envoy." Bowing again, she turned and motioned for her entourage to go. Now, as he watched the young Princess leave, Finn was struck by the sudden realization. Nieve wasn't angry. She was scared. She was being sold to buy peace. That brought a whole new level of discomfort. He didn't want this to be how his family did business. He didn't like this at all.
At the same time, he couldn't afford to insult Nieve's family either. This had been a shocking twist to an ugly sequence of events. He'd backed Billy, when Bonnie had been on a tear about improper behavior. He still backed Billy. Hadn't he done the exact same thing to Aysun? Twice. At the same time, that could have blown back on him, and this could have easily blown up in Billy's face. They needed to get ahead of this. He needed to find a pleasant way of weaseling out of this mess. "Family conference...," Finn announced. Beeps, Bonnie, and Betty were all good at coming up with clever ways to politely tell people to fuck off. He'd need all their skill this time.
"With all due respect, Your Majesty," Prince Gaotbert announced, "this is no longer just a family matter." Finn's head snapped around to the Turtle Prince. Smoothly Colbert the Elbownian agreed, "this is a matter for the entirety of the kingdoms of Ooo." Uneasily, Finn stopped right where he was. He wasn't sure where they were going with this. He'd really hoped to just get his family into their private space and talk through how they were going to respond to this. That looked like it was about to be taken off the table. Taking his hand, Simone pulled him down into his seat. Her cool fingers against his seemed to say that this was not the time. Reluctantly, Finn agreed to hear what their visitors had to say.
Prince Gaotbert began it, declaring, "this is an opportunity to strengthen the Peace of Ooo. Ordinarily, I would count it unseemly for a man to be married to more than one woman. However, the King of Ooo has managed this circumstance ably, managing to secure peaceful and harmonious cooperation among many of these several kingdoms. I have no doubt that Prince William would do as well..." Finn flushed to his hair at that backhanded compliment. He'd been struggling to get himself comfortable with the crazy situation he was in. Getting reminded of it did little for his sanity at the moment. While he seethed with shame and humiliation, Simone's fingers stroked his gently, urging calm without a word being spoken.
Bonnie rose again then, offering, "it is as you say. Our kingdoms have come to a new harmony through this network of marriage alliances. I have no doubt that William might yet bring about more tranquil relations with the Muscle Kingdom..." There was a 'but' in there, and Finn himself could feel it coming. Softly, Bonnie said, "each man has to look to his own conscience. While the Inner Council could certainly make it a decree that William marry, it stands against common morality..." Finn flinched at that. Simone's fingers squeezed his, and he could almost hear her urging him to wait. They were just letting the Turtles and Elbownians have their say.
Colbert stepped forward then. Gesturing with both his hands and his hair, the Elbownian opined, "there has been too much feuding amongst royal clans. We've seen whole kingdoms, including my homeland, decimated and even denuded of life. Our fragile world is at risk of starvation. This has to be stopped, Your Highness. The King of Ooo has, right this moment, the power and the opportunity both to stop it with nothing more than a simply worded decree. You have a moral obligation to do just that."
How do you make an almost all-powerful monarch squirm?
Finn was starting to see what he'd taken a long time to understand. No matter how infinite power seemed, it was always and easily checked by the clay-feet of the man or woman wielding it. He was in a trick-bag, and he knew it. They were right. He knew they were right. More to the point, he suspected that Odessa knew it too. She'd proposed this. Instead of coming to her granddaughter's aid, she'd offered her up to be married against her will to buy off a peace after her homeland got stomped in a war.
Motioning for Bonnie to sit, Finn stood up and thanked his guests for their words. "You're right," he said. "I can't consider this in a vacuum. At the same time, family's sacred to me. Before I commit to this, my family needs to discuss this. Privately. Thank-you for your time and your words." Without a second glance, he turned and headed for the door to the private wing of the palace. As Bonnie thanked Prince Gaotbert and Colbert, Simone gathered up the members of the Royal Family, leading them out through the door Finn had just taken.
Minutes later, Bonnie strode into the private dining room to find her fellows gathered either virtually or in person. Striding towards the table, she lay Odessa's offer on the table. "One of her aides gave that to me after you left," she said. Finn nodded, but he let the document with its elegant wax seal and calligraphy lay where she'd put it. He didn't need to read it. This wasn't about money or trade concessions. This was his son.
"Ok," Finn said. "How are we going to weasel out of this...?" Bonnie replied, "on the contrary, Finn, we should agree to this arrangement." In her usual stentorian tone, the candy monarch laid out all the benefits they would gain from such an agreement. Finn looked at her as if she was crazy. Before he could snap, Ingrid put her oar in the water, reminding him that the Muscle Kingdom had reserves of manpower to build up the army. Indeed, Finn found himself nearly alone with only Lollipop on his side of the table.
Rising from his place, the big man began to pace. The room held its breath, as he walked off manic energy. Up and back, he went. "I don't understand," Finn murmured. "Why would you do this to Rags...?" Ragnhild flushed. That was how he saw it. They were hurting her. She was getting the shaft. And wasn't she? It was hard not to feel that way. At the same time, she was a Princess, born to rule a kingdom. This came with the territory.
Taking a breath, Betty said, "centuries before the Mushroom War there was a family called the Habsburgs... They had a lot of sons and daughters..." With a smirk, she added, "kind of like you..." The big man flushed to his hair, but he said nothing. He was listening. Moving on, Betty explained, "they married those kids off–sons and daughters–to every other Royal Clan in their world. Pretty soon every Royal was a cousin, brother, or sister of every other. It wasn't always good for the kids, but it brought peace. People were hesitant to move on their own relatives..." Clearly disturbed, Finn turned and walked to the sliding glass door that let out on the garden. He knew exactly what she was saying, but somehow those ideas just made all of this harder to swallow.
"Finn," sighed Bonnie, "the world's messed up. Ooo's... Ooo's wrecked. The world that we knew is gone. Between the Lich, the Dipped, and Wildberry, it's been shattered beyond repair. We need to consider radical measures if we want to rebuild something from the ashes..." Finn flushed. Radical measures. They were asking Bill–and Ragnhild–to accept a shotgun-marriage to Nieve. "She's a treacherous witch," Noemi opined, "but I'm used to dealing with treachery." She had been gaming other women since before Nieve was a gleam in her daddy's eye. Abeiuwa snorted in derision. It was clear that she would gleefully have beaten the younger woman for getting out of pocket. All eyes turned to Ragnhild. She looked to Finn, who flinched. Calmly, she said, "I'll be a good steward of William's home as Simone was steward of his father's home."
Glancing away, Finn said, "I'm not going to ask Bill to do this. I won't stand in the way, but I can't ask that." "I can," Ragnhild murmured. Finn's face whipped around. With a dazzling smile, the Froyo Princess said, "I came into this as a child. I was a middle-aged woman-baby playing around when the world was on the brink. Bill helped me grow up. I need to accept this, Finn. I can watch the world tear itself apart, or I can throw down like my husband. I'm in it to win it." The decision got made just like that. One by one, the ladies came up and hugged him. He wasn't sure if it was meant to comfort him or reassure him somehow. Then they left him there in the dining room–all but Betty.
"You're angry," she said. She could see the tension. He didn't like this. He didn't like asking this of his kids. She could see where his mind was going. How far did they take this? Where did it end? If they asked this of Bill, what about Bon and Star and Shoko and Fionna? What about Marshall? And what about all the rest of his kids? Was he to marry them off against their wills? Striding up to him, the plump woman put a hand on his shoulder. Softly, she reminded him, "you're King, Finn." Which he well knew. That certain and unpleasant knowledge guided his every action.
Shaking her head, she said, "honey, it's more even than you're thinking. You're thinking that you're the man that keeps the peace. You're the man that keeps all these idiots from being at each other's throats. It's more than that, baby. You're not just the man who keeps the peace, you're also the glue that holds this whole thing together."
The big man stared at her. Nodding, she said, "the Royal Family is the family that all the lords and their ladies owe their loyalty to. They've seen you in the worst of things, up to your armpits in the blood and ruin. They have trust in you. They follow where you lead because you're the man who continues to work to keep the peace. Now that means we have to play our part too. What we do matters just as much as what you do." His face flushed as he took in the enormity of what she was saying. Nodding, she said, "I kind of made my peace with it... I... don't know how all the others sit. Simone understands it. Cherry accepts it. This is how our world is going to be." He wasn't sure he was ready to accept it himself.
This was heavy, heavy stuff, and the big man sat himself down at the table in a rush. He looked lost. He was losing a piece of his world too. It had always been one man and his woman for Finn. Emeraude was a bittersweet accident. Sliding her arms around his broad shoulders, Betty murmured, "and this is why we love you, honey. This isn't you being a shit. It's the consequences of carrying the world on our collective backs. We'll work through this, however it turns out." Straightening, the plump woman strode out. At the door, she stood there a moment, reveling in the way his eyes had been following her ass, showing that he still thought her beautiful. With a smirk, she winked at him, and just before she shut the door, the told him, "I guess it's good that you have the hormones of a teenager again..." The big man flushed. If this went to the conclusion she'd just drawn, he'd need them.
He sat there a while, staring into space as his mind went in slow circles. He didn't want to do this. He felt like he was being overwhelmed and outvoted, and he didn't want anything to do with this. He wanted to tell Odessa to shove her offer up her ass. He wanted to tell the turtles and the Elbownians to go fuck themselves. And he knew they were all right. He was counting on the fields in Muscle Kingdom to come back and put food on the tables of all the local kingdoms. He was holding his own with Sarah's food formulas and the kelp Crab Princess was scaring up. Holding his own wasn't going to be good enough much longer.
Rising, he decided to clear his head. He found himself wandering the halls of the palace barely seeing and certainly not acknowledging anybody he encountered. Honestly, he would have been hard pressed to tell you who he met that afternoon. He'd gone from working on a simple letter to a friend to a plunge deep, deep down the rabbit-hole. And where was it going to end? The girls saw this as just patching a hole, but he already saw this going off the rails and fast. What if somebody asked to marry Fionna? Fionna was the last human girl–at least she had been. There were dudes who found her uniqueness exciting. He couldn't do that to her or Patrick! What if somebody wanted to marry their daughters! He could find himself promising his grandkids before one of them was even born!
Before he knew it, his steps had carried him clean across the castle and straight to his other worry. He was in the dungeon. He was in the VIP dungeon high in a corner of the palace. That brought back unpleasant memories. They'd retrieved Maja's body. They'd brought her back here to die in this place. She still hadn't awakened, and Finn had more or less resigned himself to the idea she never would. She wasn't on the machines. He'd refused to put her back on the machines. He was expecting that, absent some miracle, she'd simply fade away.
Impulsively, he put his hand on the new lock, letting himself into the dungeon. Passing the cages of his very-important prisoners, Finn the Human came at last to the place where his lost lady spent her days. He'd been dreading coming back here. He'd feared what he would find. Drew had kept him apprised of Maja's condition over the last few weeks, but Finn had found himself struck with one thing. Karma. Karma was eating him alive. He'd been thankful that Chiang had been born with all his fingers and toes. He'd been happy that the little guy seemed to be alright. At the same time, it seemed very much like Glob was taking Maja in exchange, and that made him sad.
Striding up to the door, Finn carefully unlocked the door and stepped inside, prepared to find Maja gone. He hoped to find her still here asleep, but he feared he'd find her dead, leaving him to raise Chiang alone. He was completely unprepared to find Maja standing there in one of her old dresses, back to the door. At first, he thought he was dreaming, and he actually pinched himself to be sure. Then, as he shut the door, she turned to face him, and her eyes were wary, seeming to look through him. It was a very different Maja than the one he'd become used to. She didn't rush to get a hug. She didn't greet him. But her eyes burned into his the way they had the night he'd first met her in Engagement Ring Kingdom.
"I'm glad you're awake," he offered. "We were beginning to worry." Maja frowned at him–at those words. She hadn't frowned really since she'd tried to poison herself. Something was definitely different here. Finn stepped forward, testing the waters. Maja stepped back a pace, putting space between them. "I see," he said. Then, "do you talk?" Her face went hot, and she curtly replied, "yes. What do you want me to say?" "'Hello', for a start," Finn replied. "Maybe 'I'm fine.' Depending on how you're feeling." Her blush deepened.
Reaching out, he took her face in his hands. "Keep your hands," she snapped, as she pushed him away. Finn didn't mind that at all. Indeed, he dragged her into his arms and tried to crush her. Shoving him away, she demanded, "why did you save me?!" Stepping forward, he said, "I feared I didn't. I thought you were gone. That... we only had a ghost of you left..." The facade cracked, and she glanced away, face gone bleak. "You shouldn't have saved me," she said. "The world was back in balance. I only bring trouble... I'm only good at hurting things." "You brought a child into the world," he said. "There's that..."
Her face went red hot. She'd thought that was a dream. "We named him Chiang," said Finn. Maja flushed. That was her boyfriend from lifetimes ago. He'd been dead centuries. Surprising her, the big man jerked her into his arms, pressed his rough lips to hers and gave her a scorcher of a kiss. Maja came close to melting. Her hand came up as if to push him away but only ended up pawing at his chest. When he finally let her come up for air, she immediately pushed off from him. "You remember," he murmured. "You're still not worth the world, Finn," she retorted. "If that mattered, you wouldn't still be here," he said, as he stepped back into her space.
Her face went hot, and she backed away again, but Finn had anticipated that. The big man grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around, sliding his arms about her. "W-why," she whined? "I promised that I would keep you in a safe place... that you'd not suffer," he whispered. "I promised that if you helped me save the world, you'd not be harmed in your turn. No-one can make me break that promise. You kept your word. I'll keep mine until I'm no longer around to keep it." "I know," Maja sobbed. "Don't you understand, you damned fool. That's why I did it. They'll take you from me. They'll take you like they took him." Letting her go, Finn chuckled, "I'm kinda' hard to kill, M. Remember?"
Turning around, she slapped him. Rubbing at his face, he said, "that's kind of a harsh reply." "It's a reminder that you're mortal, Finn the Human," she rumbled. The big man laughed. Brushing away the tears from her face, he said, "I'm'a send Drew up to look at you." When she glared at him, he tugged on her chin, saying, "it's not every day you come back from the dead, M. Let's get you looked at." His tone suggested that this was not a negotiation. Smiling, softly, he said, "even the King has to obey when the doctor demands it. Go along to get along, M." "Right," she muttered. "Didn't you swear not to give me orders?" "You're part of this family now, M," he replied. Her mouth came open.
Sitting down on the edge of her rough bed, he asked, "wanna' play?" He meant the Card Wars mat on the table. Flushing–she vaguely remembered playing the game rather a lot these last months–she said, "later. I've played it enough I think..." "Chess," he asked? "Why did you come," she demanded? "I come a lot," he replied. "To talk to you." The witch flushed once more. As he explained how he used her as a sounding board–because she was the most deadly-devious person he knew–her blush only deepened.
"Alright," she muttered. "What do you want to know?" "If I'm an idiot," he replied. Which was foolish on its face. He was a genius. As far as she could tell, he always had been. If not for his handicap, he could have conquered Ooo decades ago. "Yeah," he said. "Nadia kinda' fixed that..." Rolling her eyes, the witch retorted, "not that handicap, do-gooder. It's your overweening sense of morality that I'm talking about." That made him laugh. Grabbing her by the wrist, he pulled the witch onto his lap.
"Your morality is in the way of something," she murmured as his breath stirred her hair. "I can sense it." "I received an offer today," he replied. "The Muscle Kingdom wants Billy to marry their princess?" She laughed as she imagined that handsome young man marrying that fat oaf. "Not Yolanda," Finn replied. "She's in a cell down the hall. Her niece is on the throne. They want Billy to marry her..." Haltingly at first, then a little more smoothly as he got over the emotions of the moment, he told his strange wife about the Dowager Princess and her offer. "They want an alliance," Maja retorted, as she turned to study him. Her brown eyes burned into his. Reaching out to stroke his battered face, she said, "have you come to enjoy wars, Finn?" He glanced away–or tried to. Maja tugged on his ear as if he was a recalcitrant boy. "You came for advice, Finn," she growled, "or did you come to waste my time?" "Let me have it," he sighed.
"Your son is no longer your son," she said. "He's a soldier and an asset of your throne. Your daughters and sons are key members of your regime and assets in their own right. You have one son holding down your flank in the Engagement Ring Kingdom under a veneer of neutrality. That's good strategy. Your second son is holding your most important territory and keeping it running, freeing your vizier to do her job. Your daughters were squandered in marriages based on emotion, but you still have William. William can still marry for advantage. Let William go, Finn. He needs to put in work. This can't be about love anymore for you." He flinched. Hadn't she said it before? Business. This was business.
The big man took a deep breath, and she could sense the change in him. "I need something from you," he murmured. "I'm guessing you don't want to smash me," she retorted. The King flushed to his hair. Brushing her cheek, he said, "yeah, I do. It was kinda' creepy when you were a kid in a woman's body, because I wanted to bang you like a drum." That left her blushing and sputtering. Pulling her close to him, he said, "I need something... I need your expertise in magic, M..." He wanted her to do something for him. With a sigh, she said, "I'm part of the family. I need to put in work to earn my keep." "Thanks, M," he said. No more than that.
Kissing his cheek, she said, "alright. Where am I working?" "I had plans for a laboratory," he sighed, "but I was afraid you wouldn't be around to use it..." His plans had gotten shelved for other problems. "I just need a space to work," she said. "Doesn't need to be fancy." "I'll have something put together tomorrow," he promised. The tone of his voice told her he had to go. A part of her felt a sudden pang of longing. She'd been here with him all this time and yet living in a dreamworld, and she'd missed this. Without a word, she stood up and stepped back from him. This was what they had now–the King and his favorite prisoner. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "I'll bring Chiang." "No," she said. "You'll go and work a deal with this Dowager. Business first, Finn. I would have accepted no less in my empire." And she had an appointment with the doctor before she could get to work on his project anyway. "Right," he muttered. With one last kiss, he left her, bound for supper with the others.
Annnnd Maja's back. And Finn is still up to something. And, of course, Damien is finding out just how hard it is to eliminate a member of the Finn Crew.