I'm not too keen
on the smell of Vasoline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't want to be a queen –
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks.
-Bloodhound Gang "I Wish I Was Queer"
Oh, the wicked web we weave...here is silly summer fluff just for fun...enjoy!
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"Kaskashi! Kaskashi! Kaskashi!" Iruka landed on the bench next to the lackadaisical jounin after hurdling the back of it. He danced from butt-cheek to butt-cheek in an excited wiggle. "Look! LOOK!"
He waved a blue flyer in front of the copy-nin's face.
"Whoa, hold still there, I can't see it."
"See? See?" Iruka grinned, letting the lazy hand hold the flyer unassisted.
"Wha…hey, all right! This is in June?"
"Yeah, look here - contortionists! The twins are contortionists!"
"That's cool. You're pretty worked up - did you get tickets?"
"Better than that. I hope you don't mind, but I signed us up on the list as potential escorts."
"Oh, Iruka, you're dreaming. They'll pick women to be the escorts. Why even try?"
"I have to try. You mean to tell me you wouldn't give your left nut to be backstage with the Icha Girls?"
He's so cute when he's excited, Kakashi mused. If only he could get that excited about getting 'backstage' with me.
Kakashi's face held a brief look of pain. It was a labor pain, as his genius mind gushed forth and gave birth to a half-baked plan.
"I think I know how we can position ourselves to be picked for escort." The jounin gave a superior look to his hippity-hopping friend.
"How? What?" Iruka leaned in close, bursting with curiosity and hope.
"We'll put those silly rumors about us to good use. We'll pretend we're gay. Then they'll have no qualms about letting us babysit those babes."
"Oh, no. No way. Well, wait. Maybe. It might…it could work. Yeah…yes…hell yes! You're so smart it's scary! I take back everything I ever said about you being the thickest genius ever! You're always bullshitting everybody about being bi - this could work! I love you, man!"
"I love you too, man," Kakashi snickered, delighted to his very core.
Life, in all its fullness, had finally supplied Hatake Kakashi with the perfect situation.
"So when do we start? What…" Iruka was beside himself, ready for action.
"Step Number One: making out at the bath house naked!" The jounin gestured skyward with a decisive pointer finger. (Making out naked at the bath house was also Kakashi's Iruka Icha Fantasy Number Twenty-three. What a coincidence! Go figure. )
"We'll be front page gossip in an hour or less!" the crescent eye smiled.
"Whoa. Are you sure about this?" The brown eyes reflected a bit of shock.
"You want twin contortionists or not?"
"Hell yeah! Eyes on the prize! Let's get our stuff !"
For a dog man, Kakashi's smile certainly resembled that of a cat anticipating his cream.
O.o