I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry Potter was having the worst summer of his life. He had risked life and limb in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and had been used in a ritual to bring his enemy back into a body. Cedric Diggory had been killed and no one seemed to believe that Voldemort could have returned. And ever since the school year had ended, the Daily Prophet had been subtly implying that he had lost hold of his mental facilities.

His scar had been sending him horrendous visions. Voldemort was tormenting him with visions of Cedric, of killing his parents, and of torturing random muggles. He had also seen Snape present his master with a potion to restore his looks to those he had before his out of body experience.

His relatives had been verbally lashing out at him over his nightmares. Scathing remarks and spreading rumors over him being even more imbalanced. He was reaching the end of his rope and knew that he'd never make it through the summer. Fudge wouldn't be waving off any accidental magic like he had in third year. He sighed as he remembered that Vernon was out picking up his sister Marge.

--0--

The four Dursley's were seated at the table while Harry served them. Marge had been here for three days and had done nothing but snipe at him, insulting and finding fault with every move he made. As he turned his back towards the kitchen, Marge made one final comment about his parents and Harry's frayed patience snapped, just like it had the year previously. A stray thought about joining Sirius on the run passed his mind before he slowly turned around.

"What would you know about my parents? They were decent hardworking people before they were murdered!"

Marge ignored him and turned to Vernon. "I thought you said St. Brutus's would put him straight."

Harry saw red. "I don't go to St. Brutus!"

Turning a condescending eye towards the scrawny teen, "Oh, and just where do you go to school then? What self-respecting institution would allow you to attend?"

"Hogwarts, that's where!"

"Hmmph, their standards must have fallen then. I would have never allowed your atrocious behavior when I was head girl."

All noise came to a full stop. Even Dudley had stopped chewing. As Harry's brain rebooted, he asked in a shaking whisper. "Y-you went to Hogwarts?"

"Of course I did. What, did you think I joined those sissy stuck up nits over at Beaubatons? And at the time, Durmstrang wasn't admitting those of us of the fairer sex. Gryffindor Head Girl of '45."

"You're a, you're one of them Marge?" Vernon looked pale.

"Of course, Mum and Dad were so disappointed when you turned out to be a squib. They were ever so thoughtful and moved into the muggle world so you wouldn't have to see everything you were missing. I moved back in to help them out because, bless their hearts, they were getting on in years and you were a bit of a surprise."

Vernon's mouth opened and closed. He reached for his glass and took a long pull of the brandy within.

"Wait a minute, Tom Riddle was Head Boy in '45! You went to school with Vo-"

Marge cut him off. "Oh, Tommy, I'd almost forgotten about him. He was such a dreamy young man. Breaking hearts right and left. Doesn't mean we didn't test out more than a few broom closets during patrols."

Harry lunged for the bottle of brandy still sitting on the table as he attempted to get the mental image out of his head. Finishing off the bottle in short order (Marge and Vernon had been hitting it hard already) he began to wonder where he could find some bleach when a gong like sound rang through the house.

Before any of them could figure out the sound, a skeletal thin man appeared in their midst and pointed a bone white wand straight at Harry. "Dumbledore's protections are useless Potter, now DIE!"

His lips opened to incant the curse when he was distracted by a flush faced woman fanning herself with her napkin. That she wasn't screaming or even cowering confused him. As he turned his newly restored visage towards her, she shouted out "Tommy! You're looking wonderful! Do you remember me?"

Voldemort wracked his dark magic addled mind to figure out who this woman who dared call him by that pathetic nick-name. Slowly, it dawned on him. "Maggie? Is that you?"

"Oh, you remember me Tommy. I was just reminiscing over our time as Head Boy and Girl. You know, I've got my own room here, much nicer than those old broom cupboards."

Riddle thought for a moment. He had yet to test out his restored body, and he was loath to do so with a filthy muggle. He remembered their trysts in school with a small smile.

Harry was frozen, his eyes focused on Voldemort and the wand pointed at his heart. He watched as his mortal enemy gave a smile that was eerily similar to Seamus' when he was on the prowl. 'Definitely need to find some bleach'.

The wand vanished back into the black robes as the hand gestured towards the stairway. "Lead the way my dear Maggie May"

Marge stood from the table, a small smile upon her face. "Oh, Tommy, you remembered." The two made their way upstairs and they heard the guest room door slam shut.

A moment later, they heard Riddles voice drift down the stairs. "Oh Merlin, now I remember whey they called you the Head Girl all the way back in your 4th year!"

Harry crawled his way back into the cupboard under the stairs and started rocking back and forth slowly. 'Maybe the Prophet is right and I am going insane?'

Peace Out

Lord Retro