Hello all…I wrote this way back a while ago, the scenario with Flack and Emily kept creeping in my head, so I decided to put it down and soon, this became a multi-chapter.

Emily is Flack's best friend from childhood. She came to NY to help him grief his lost and met Mac Taylor where sparks flew!

Hope you'll give this a try and review, let me know what you think of it!

This story wouldn't be possible were it not for my wonderful beta, HGHFan35! Thank you so much!

Disclaimer: I do not own the series Criminal Minds and its characters, CSI:NY and its characters!

Enjoy!

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If Not for You

Part 1

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It had been exactly 3 years since Jessica Angell was killed in a senseless gunfire while protecting a witness.

Today was the third anniversary of her death. Three years since she was gone.

It hadn't seem that long ago when it all happened.

To Don Flack, it was still fresh in his mind. He could still recall the blood from her chest-wound pooling and soaking her shirt.

They had made an arrangement for dinner. Don was going to propose to her that night.

At the bar that night, the crime lab team, his friends and he were tossing a drink to honor Jess when they were shot at; sprayed at with a machine gun that almost took Danny Messer's live; he was paralyzed from the waist down but fortunately, the paralysis was temporarily.

Danny was able to get on with his life.

Not Don Flack.

He could not get over Jess. Not a day went by where he didn't think that by this time, she would've been his wife. They might've even been blessed with a child or two.

Two little kids who would have looked just like their mamma.

Sitting on his couch, he took a long drink of his beer, the TV was on but muted; he was not watching what was on it nor did he care at this point.

His usually meticulously clean apartment now looked as if there was a permanent frat party going on; empty bottles of beer scattered throughout, as well as take-out containers. Some looked as if it had been there for a long while. Dust had accumulated. Sink was full of dirty dishes and glasses.

The department made him take some time off. They wanted him to take it easy as he was burnt out.

He tried to strangle a suspect in the interview room. His friend Mac Taylor escorted him off and brought him to his apartment and gave him a friendly warning that he didn't wish to see him for a week.

Too tired, both mentally and physically, to argue, he nodded and slammed the door to Mac.

That was two days ago.

His issued weapon was on the coffee table top; Flack had eyed at it many times.

An easy but less than honorable way out but he would be reunited with Jess. His Jess. His Angel.

His cell phone went off again. He didn't bother to answer it. He didn't care. He was off, after all. He was off duty and thus, not on call. At this point, he didn't care at all if his apartment building was on fire. In fact, he would consider it a blessing; it would take him to her.

Then, a constant ringing.

His mind was really fogged up; he didn't want to find out what it was.

A banging.

He turned his head slowly to the door as he took another swig of his drink.

Someone was knocking on the door insistently.

Damn it Don! I know you're in there! Let me in, or I'll knock the door down!

Don recognized the voice on the other side of the door; it was someone from a long time ago, his old friend when they were growing up in New York. Of course, she had moved on a long time ago but they had kept in touch throughout the years.

Open the damn door, Donnie! The door is coming down in five seconds.

Flack leaned over and put his beer down on the table and slowly stood up; best get the door or she will do it! He thought to himself as he moved to the door.

As he opened the door, readying to greet her, he found himself meeting a fist on his jaw and fell hard on the floor.

Anger rose up as he stared at her, who was standing over him, "What the fuck is this? A new way you feebs greet your lowly PD buddies?"

The woman standing over him was glaring angrily, "Took you long enough to answer that damn door, Donald! I told you don't ever leave me hanging or you will get it."

"God damn it! Don't you know ladies don't cuss?" he replied as he wiped his lip from blood; she had cut his lip when she smacked him.

"You had told me many times in the past that I'm no lady." She extended her hand to him and helped him up.

"It's a good thing you're my best bud or I'll swing back at you."

"Quit being a baby and give me a hug, will you?" She held out her hands.

Flack glared at her and finally smiling, he enveloped her into a big hug.

He had pulled her away, he looked at her.

"Why are you here, Emily?"

"I've been trying to call you and I told you that if you don't answer me in a week, I'll hunt your sorry ass down. We made a pact to keep in touch every week."

Flack nodded, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about it." He moved to close the door when he spotted a bag.

He turned to her, "You visiting for a while?"

She nodded.

"What about your precious BAU?" He asked as he picked the bag up and brought it in before closing the door.

Emily looked around his apartment, a frown on her face, "Goodnight! This is a pig sty! When's the last time this place had a good cleaning? Why don't you hire a maid service?"

Flack shrugged his shoulders and sat down on his couch.

Emily Prentiss shook her head; this was worst than she had thought. This was not the Don Flack she had known since she was a second grader and he a third grader.

Flack had called her when his girlfriend had died in a gun fire. At that time she was not able to break off from her case; she was in Michigan and Canada looking for an UnSub who had been kidnapping the homeless in Michigan.

She had felt bad that she was not there for him, and subsequently attended her funeral as well.

She also knew about his plan to propose to Det. Angell on the same day she had died.

Since then, they talked a lot on the phone when they had the chance to do so between his work here and her various cases with the BAU team.

Lately, it was less frequent they called each other. She called but it always led to voice mail.

"So, how long are you shacking over here?" Flack watched her moving around as he took another drink and winced at the warm drink. He hastily put it down on the table and stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Oh, about a week or so." Emily wrinkled her nose at the food containers on the dining table.

Popping a top off another bottle of beer he took from the refrigerator, he drank deep.

"How many beer have you consumed?" She walked up to him and opened the 'fridge door and grabbed a beer herself. Her eyebrows rose quickly when she saw the cases of beer in the 'fridge.

"I dunno. Are you talking about just today? Or when they tossed my ass home and told me to stay away from the precinct?" He leaned against a countertop next to a sink.

Emily shook her head; based on the number of bottles scattered about, he was averaging about a dozen per day!

"Donald…" she began.

He held his hand out, "Just don't, Emily. I've been lectured by so many people that I lost count, some more annoying than others. Mac is the worst!"

"Mac? Oh, you mean Mac Taylor from the Crime Lab?"

Nodding annoyingly, "Yeah, that's him. He's always nagging at me; get off the couch, do something outside. Go out, meet some people."

"Well, he sounds like he is a good friend. Don, he's concerned about you." Emily said.

Flack was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "Yeah, you're right. I mean I just crash and burn three years after Je…after she…I still remember her lying on the cold floor, her blood everywhere but her face, she looked so calm…" he finally broke down as hot tears rapidly flowed.

Tearing up herself, Emily grabbed Flack as they hugged tightly, his body wrecked with grief; his sorrow, his lost, and raw grief he had held for so long finally letting go.

Emily rubbed his back as she cried with her. Her grief for her friend, her one only true friend who had been steadfast for her throughout their friendship and for her, a brother she never had.

As she let him cry, she smiled sadly as she recalled the times when he was her supporting shoulder. Her anger with her parents, her anger with other kids in school, her anger with life.

Flack had been there for her, most times through a phone call as they were countries apart, but he listened, she vented.

Now, it was her turn to be the shoulder. She was glad he trusted her, after they had been separated for so long, to let him lose himself in her arms; brother and sister. They always have each other for support.

…End of Part 1…

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Well, what do you think? Let me know!

Lizzie