Today is Prim's first year death anniversary.
Mother had already visited her tombstone yesterday but she's too
caught up with her work to stay for today.
Me. I brought her flowers early morning, and I sang to her.
I miss Prim so much. Her voice. Her smile. Her laugh. Her occasional
words of wisdom.
Buttercup misses her too. As much as possible I'm trying not to be so
hard on him, but I just can't. Everyday he reminds me of Prim so much
that it hurts.
I know he's also having a hard time moving on. Everyday he still waits
at the door for her. I feel sorry for him. The only person in the
world who ever loved him his whole life is gone.
Last month we went to District Eleven to visit Rue and Tresh's
tombstone. Rue, just like my sister, died a horrible death because of
the Capitol.
Today, Peeta and I also decided to go to the Capitol.
It's time to face it again after all the terrible things that happened.
For our friends who sacrificed their lives for us to keep going.
No matter how scared I am. No matter how terrified I am of stepping
back in the Capitol. I should go. The fear and the nightmares won't go
away if we don't face the source, Peeta once said.
At the Capitol's entrance, a lot of District Thirteen soldiers died
because of the booby trap the Capitol set up. Including Boggs, the
only person from Thirteen who really trusted me.
Under these streets was Finnick Odair. He sacrificed so much for this
rebellion. He left his wife, Annie, and his unborn child. He gave
himself for freedom, and it cost him his life.
Inside the torture chamber, the redheaded avox, Lavinia that I never
had the chance to save for the second time. She became an avox because
of me. And she died because of me.
The Peacekeeper who turned avox, Darius. I'll never forget the day he
saved Gale from the whipping back in Twelve. We never even get the
chance to thank him.
And Cinna.
Oh, Cinna.
The one who was always betting on me. The one who was responsible for
me being the Mockingjay. He's the only person on earth that I could fully trust my life with.
The one that gave me the spark to be the mockingjay.
As we walk toward's Snow's mansion, I grab Peeta's hand for support.
There is it.
The place of the explosion. They may try and repair all the damage of
where the silver parachute landed, but it's still here. In my head. In
my heart. I know exactly where my little sister died. It's here right
in front of me.
"Primrose Everdeen!" announced Effie Trinket on the day of the reaping.
"I volunteer!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
I volunteered for her.
I volunteered not to let my little sister die helplessly in the games.
I volunteered to keep my little sister safe from the Capitol.
But it didn't happen. She died right in front of me while helping others.
Prim ...
The only reason why I wake up every morning to hunt in the woods. The
only reason why I sold baby clothes and scavenged somebody else's
trash bin. The only reason why I wanted to win the games because I
promised her that I'd come home.
The only reason why I am now a living dead died right where I'm standing.
a/n: I always thought that Katniss never got a chance to really mourn
Prim's death because of everything that had happen after.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, English is just my second
language but I'm doing everything to make it better :)
R&R would be appreciated.