Kill Phil: Volume One

by Positronic Hazardous Infiltration Lifeform

A riproaring tale of blood, death and fanfiction. For one of the most trivial reasons ever, a disgruntled fanfic writer hires an assassin to kill his friend. The battle's on to... Kill Phil! Complete

1. Prologue

'You have no chance to survive
make your time'

- Old Japanese Proverb -

All is black…
All is quiet…
It is like the calm before the storm…
Above the noiseless din we can hear a faint noise…
A buzzing, a breathing, a squealing…

And a voice…

"Do you find me sadistic?"

"I'm not being sadistic. Not to you."

"Maybe to all these other jokers."

The fly struggled under the thumb of it's tormenter Marc.

"But not to you."

Politics class officially started. Marc released his grip on the unfortunate fly and turned to face the front. But the insect barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief before he grabbed it again and finished pulling the second wing off.

Moments later Phil, fanfic writer extraordinaire, walked in.

"You're late," said Marc. Phil shrugged casually.

"What're you gonna do… kill me?"

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And so begins
the rip-roaring tale of
blood, death and fanfiction…

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"The 22nd Fanfic by

Philip Williams"

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Featuring:

Marc
Helen
Nancy
Tom-Tom
Adam…

…and Phil

As members of:
The Fatal Cobra Fanfic Squad

And a crazed Uma Thurman look-alike as:
The Crazed Uma Thurman Look-Alike

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Starring:

Marc Potts as… 'Nineteenth Angel'

Helen Anthony as… 'Beloved Fool'

Nancy Vang as… 'Deadly Sirens'

Tom Williams as… various

Adam Lait as… 'Soviet Man'

Phil as…himself

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And so the Top Secret Forbidden Fic of Mystery is revealed to you at last.
It is the 22nd fan-story by Philip Williams.
It is a tale of violence and struggle.
It is a rip-roaring tale of BLOOD,DEATH andFANFICTION.

And when The Crazed Uma Thurman Look Alike gets to where she's going,
she is going to:

KILL
PHIL