Chapter One: The Wife Bank

Fewer more heinous and morally reprehensible an organization ever existed in the Dominion of the Cluster than the so called "Compatible Reliability Insurance Broker" also colloquially known as The Wife Bank. Let's talk about the Wife Bank. Formulated originally for the purpose of providing the wealthiest of families and dignitaries loyal to His Shadow a pre-programmed, fully submissive, guaranteed virginal and disease-free wife for their presumably perfect and ever so deserving sons, what it actually amounted to in practical terms was a form of governmentally sanctioned slave trade.

Also, who said the Wife Bank was only on one planet? One day, the Lexx had set a course and shows up at the planet, B3K, Xev's home world.

Xev: (confused) That planet looks oddly familiar.

Stanley: It should be, cause it's B3K.

Xev: Wait, why did you come here?

Stanley: I thought that maybe you wanted to visit your home world, just like we visited Kai's ancestor world.

Xev: Why not Astral-B?

Stanley: It was destroyed by His Shadow, otherwise I show you the exact place I grew up.

Xev: I still don't understand why you brought me here. It's dangerous.

Kai has his own opinion.

Kai: The Divine Order relied on finding obedient wives from the Wife Bank for all the clerics. Since the Divine Order is no more, than B3K should be safe.

Xev: I'm still not risking it.

Stanley: Fine, then I'll go down there.

Xev: That's funny, Stan, cause usually you're the guy who's worried about running into trouble.

Stanley: I have my reasons and just in case there is trouble, I'll take Kai with me.

Xev: Just don't come back with a wife, cause you have no idea what I went through and I'm sure there are others like me.

Stanley: You don't have to worry about that.

And like that, Stan and Kai take a moth down to B3K. They land next to a big building and climb out of the moth.

Stanley: So, Kai. Is this the Wife Bank?

Kai: Yes, it is.

Stanley: And you think it's dangerous?

Kai: It shouldn't be.

Stan knocks on the door and are greeted by two female guards.

Guard 1: Who are you?

Guard 2: And what is your business here?

Stanley: We're here to see who's in charge.

Guard 1: You have an appointment with the Matron?

Stanley: No, but can I come in and check things out?

Guard 2: No, you must see the Matron for permission to see anything.

Stanley: Fine, I would like to see the Matron.

Kai: I didn't think the Wife Bank was still in operation.

Guard 1: Come with us.

Then the guards take Stan and Kai to the Matron. In her office, Stan sits across from her and Kai stands behind him. The Matron is surprised to see them.

Matron: Well, well. It's not everyday that a 4th Class Security Guard is accompanied by a Divine Assassin. How may I help you?

Stanley: I was wondering if I can just check the place out.

Matron: I don't allow such a request for a Security Guard. Maybe if you were a cleric.

Stanley: So, is there anything I have to do before I can check things out? Do I have to sign anything?

Matron: You can marry one of our brides.

Stanley: Marry? I don't know. Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do?

Matron: Look, either marry a bride or get escorted out of this building.

Stanley: Fine, I'll marry. Can I at least pick her out?

Matron: Since the fall of the Divine Order, we have been desperate to find husbands and B3K is the only planet left that has a Wife Bank.

Stanley: So, does that mean I can pick her out?

Matron: Follow me.

Stan and Kai follow behind the Matron down a long hallway. Kai talks to Stan.

Kai: I don't understand. What is your purpose here, Stan?

Stanley: You'll find out.

A few minutes later, the Matron directs Stan to a dozen brides to be, aged between seventeen and twenty-one.

Matron: Please take your pick.

Stan steps closer, checking out the facial features of each girl. Then Stan steps in front of one girl, who has messy brown hair, brown eyes and similar facial features that match his.

Stanley: What about her?

Matron: That is Wynter Tweedle, aged seventeen. Her score happens to be a low variation, from standard scores, and not due to graduate for another three years.

Stanley: I don't care. I'll marry her anyways.

Matron: I'll get the paperwork.

Kai was at a distance to not hear what the Matron told Stan and watches as the Matron walks off with the remaining brides. Stan whispers to her.

Stanley: You know who I am?

Wynter: Should I?

Stanley: Yes, and I'm about to save your life.

Then the Matron comes back with a wedding dress for Wynter. At the altar, Wynter recites her vows.

Wynter: You are my every dream come true. I shall serve you and I shall love you.

Priest: Security Guard 4th Class, do you wish to take Wynter to be your wedded wife?

Stanley: Yes, I do.

Stan kisses her on the cheek and the two walk off together, Kai walking behind them.

Wynter: Should I know who you are?

Stanley: Wait until we get to the Lexx.

Kai: Didn't Xev say she didn't want you to marry anyone?

Stanley: Kai, I'll explain everything once we get back to the Lexx.

Wynter: What is the Lexx?

Stanley: You'll see.

Back to the Lexx and on the bridge, Xev is shocked and upset to see Stan holding hands with a young woman.

Xev: Wait, did you just get married? After what I just told you about what a terrible place it is, you went behind my back and married anyways.

Stanley: Xev, I can explain.

Xev: You better.

Stanley: Seventeen years ago, I had a girlfriend and she had a baby. When I was out on a mission, I came back to find out that my only child was given up to the Wife Bank. I didn't know which one, so I signed onto many space missions to find my daughter with no luck.

Xev: And?

Stanley: My search came to a halt when I was captured by mercenaries and taken to the Cluster. For eight years, all I could think about was my child growing up in such a horrible place. Now, that we've destroyed the Divine Order, I made it my mission again to search every planet for my daughter. Then I remember B3K, the only place I haven't checked and wouldn't you know, I found her.

Xev: Wait, so she's your…

Stanley: My daughter, yes. Xev and Kai, meet Wynter Tweedle.

Wynter: Dad? I heard all about you, even though I never met you.

Stanley: You were a baby, but of course you wouldn't remember that.

Wynter embraces her father and 790 makes a comment.

790: Oh great, another Tweedle. I just hope she's not an idiot like her father.

Stanley: Enough of you, robot head.

The moment the Lexx crew look up at the planet, B3K, they watch the entire planet being destroyed by Mantrid's drone arms. Xev is devastated and Wynter is left confused.

790: I think that's our sign to leave.

Stanley: No argument there. Lexx, please fly away from here.

Lexx: As you command, Stan.