A/N: This is my attempt at the crack-ish humorous story. Don't know if I will succeed.
Geum Jan Di was a lot of things. Short. Brunette. Athletic. Snarky. Protective. Impulsive. Adaptable. Smarter than she usually let on. And occasionally violent. And mostly inappropriate. But that was the opinion of others. Jan Di herself liked to think that she was irreverent and spoke the truth.
At any rate, she was not and (if she had her way) never would be anyone's fool.
Which was why she eyed the elegant woman sitting across a large desk in a equally large office with a sense of unease and distrust.
"You want me to do what now, Madam Chairman?" was her wary question. Then she thought a little more, "Chairwoman, I think. But then 'Madam Chairwoman' would seem redundant... Should I just say Madam Kang? But this seems like an official visit, so I should mention your title..."
Pushing a substantial folder across the table toward her, Kang Hee Soo replied matter-of-factly, "Shinhwa High School would like to offer you an opportunity to study among a group of talented and dedicated individuals. We have excellent teaching staff, superb facilities and a prestige that would open many door to you. Our swimming pool is top of the line and, I suspect, you would find that you have improved tremendously by training at Shinhwa campus."
Jan Di carefully leafed through the first stack of papers, "No, really. Why are you trying to recruit me? Don't you need to be obscenely rich or well-connected to attend the school? Not to disparage myself, but my family is hardly upper middle class."
"Shinhwa has other scholarship students, Miss Geum," Madam Kang began, patiently, only to be interrupted.
"Really? How many? And before you say how many receive your scholarship, tell me, how many actually graduate?"
Madam Kang frowned minutely and then her expression smoothed, "You will find that Shinhwa, and the rest of the society, appreciates at least some degree of formality. It is generally considered appropriate."
Jan Di smiled widely, "Amazing deflection, Madam Kang. Now, you'd expect me to feel bad about my poor manners and apologize for the lack of them. But I'd rather ask you this: where were those vaunted manners when a young man jumped to his almost-death?" She waited for the response and saw with satisfaction how Madam Kang's face tightened at the unpleasant reminder. "If you want to convince me that I should become a Shinhwa student I need something more than 'appropriate.' I want answers. REAL answers. Not whatever PR-approved cliché salad you spoon feed the public when you talk of your great school."
Madam Kang gave Jan Di an impassively quelling look, "It's pitiful how the mob mentally takes over. Public demands reforms at school even though they can't even articulate what exactly they want. Not that it stops them from badmouthing Shinhwa."
Jan Di was almost surprised at some honesty offered by the omnipotent Madam Kang, "And you mean to appease the angry mob by bringing me into the Shinhwa fold?"
"You showed resourcefulness and willingness to act when it came to stopping that child from falling. In the face of so much public and media attention you have not wilted."
Jan Di would have preened at this praise, but because this was Kang Hee Soo of Shinhwa Group she decided to look the gift horse in the mouth.
"Now you are just buttering me up. Honestly, what I hear is that I was an idiot with unnecessary principles of humanity, who saved you from the far worse situation of having an actual death on the Shinhwa campus. You think I could be a useful idiot for you."
Madam Kang's mouth quirked in an almost smile. So, Jan Di was right: the great lady thought Jan Di would be useful and could be bought. "But young lady, aside from all of this, don't you want a diploma that would put you head and shoulders above majority of the aspiring college applicants?"
"That depends on whether I actually graduate, which, considering the atmosphere in your school, is not guaranteed. Do you promise that I would graduate, no matter what?"
"Yes."
"And any disciplinary infractions?" Jan Di had to ask.
"Will not stop you from graduating."
"Okay," Jan Di said and smiled, thinking that Shinhwa school would be a very interesting experience.
Time moved fast after Jan Di agreed to the deal.
Almost immediately, the Shinhwa authorized an article about helping exceptional students through its generous scholarship program and, lo and behold, the new recipient of the scholarship was none other than the Wonder Girl herself. Jan Di was photographed with the principal of the Shinhwa School and took her chance when asked a direct question.
"Miss Geum, how do you feel about attending the school where bullying is so relentless that it drove students to attempt suicide?"
She smiled at the reporters and looked at the principal, "I am sure the severity of the incident was a wake up call to all students and adults. I am sure all eyes would be on the school. Including those of the Shinhwa school's founding family. I personally met Madam Kang and she impressed me with how caring she is towards all students enrolled at school. It was her considerate nature that convinced me to accept the scholarship."
There was a lot of clamor at her words.
"Are you saying that you were scouted directly by Madam Kang?"
"Yes. She assured me that my success is her success. I feel better knowing I have such a benefactor."
The principal of the school looked so shocked at her words, Jan Di had to bite her cheek to stop from laughing. Secretary Jung, who was present at the presser, looked generally impassive, but she didn't miss a quirk of the brow. Right after this conference, he'd be advising Madam Kang of Jan Di's words and she wished she could be a fly on the wall for that conversation. No doubt Madam Kang didn't expect that her promise would be interpreted like that. The best part was: Madam Kang couldn't say anything to the contrary.
Of course, Jan Di, being her irreverent self and prone to humor in any situation, had to comment...
...like when Jan Di was filling a large stack of forms for the school application and the scholarship award.
"You guys know that your personality questions have a depressing similarity to the marriage sites, right?" she said aloud in the large room, which housed many desks of the school administration. No one answered her, but Jan Di was making verbal asides nonetheless.
...and while being evaluated by the stern coaches of the Shinhwa athletic department, including one actual doctor, as opposed to an overworked school nurse like Jan Di was used to...
"You know, if you needed to make sure my form is right," she said breathlessly to the surprisingly young looking doctor, forearms supporting floating body by the edge of the pool, "I can think of no better way than to join me here."
...or when she had interviews - actual exams - with all main teachers of the school...
"I would say that I am sorry that I don't have the depth of knowledge you're used from other students here, but then I think you know that most of them have tutors... and money... and I am the product of the public school education... If you don't like it, join me in the picket protest by the Ministry of Education..." Surprisingly, she got a snort form the deputy principal - a tall and serious looking woman in her forties. Unsurprisingly, she was the only one.
The custodian of the school, who was dressed better than the most well-off people in her neighborhood, showed her the premises, cafeteria and other ancillary facilities.
"Won't I be getting the locker of my own?"
"We want to be sure you survived your first week here before we issue you a locker," the man didn't look like he was joking but Jan Di had survived her own neighborhood school for years now so screw him.
"Watch me," she promised.
The custodian frowned at her Hello Kitty sweatshirt and worn jeans as though he disapproved and Jan Di was fine with that, she disapproved too, but this was quite acceptable in her neck of the woods and though she got the scholarship, it didn't come with a clothing allowance.
"Right," he added just before the disapproving pause stretched into bite me territory. "So, you'll get the locker after the first week. School starts at 8:00 sharp, so don't be late or you'll get a tardy slip."
She nodded at the humorless man and went on her merry way. She had to go back and help her parents at the dry-cleaner and then go to the porridge diner for the evening shift. It was busy and customers were often drunk, rude, handsy or all of the above, but tips were great and she needed all the money she could get.
After long day of working she settled for a late dinner at the diner with Ga Eul.
"So, you start school tomorrow."
"Yep, I am all atwitter," Jan Di deadpanned.
"Listen, I know you and I want to make sure you don't do or say something Jan-Di-like," Ga Eul cut to the chase.
"Ga Eul, I don't ever attack - only defend," Jan Di said and her friend rolled her eyes.
"Your definition of 'attack' is very broad," she said and smirked. "Remember that idiot Hwa Shin?"
"He had grabbed you by both hands. And, for the record, I warned him," Jan Di said.
Ga Eul laughed and nodded along, "God, it was amazing to see him go down clutching his family jewels." After the laughter died, she added, "Jan Di, you can't do that with all those richie-rich kids. You'd be in jail before you know it."
Jan Di sighed, "I know... I intend to lie low. If they ignore me because I'm scholarship kid, then it'd be the best."
"Fighting!" Ga Eul offered and Jan Di returned the favor.
Her arrival at school was inauspicious. She came on her bicycle and was obviously an odd one out. The cars, one more luxurious than the other, dropped off the privileged kids dressed to impress. The thing was, Jan Di knew a little about luxury and sports cars. Her brother was obsessed with them and dreamed of inventing some awesome computer game that would make him rich. Then, he promised, he'd buy fancy cars just because he could. So Jan Di watched in fascination as Maybachs and Alfa-Romeos drove past and wondered if the kids treated these cars like she treated her bicycle - s mode of transportation and nothing else. She doubted: obviously, status and conspicuous display of wealth were necessary.
She found her classroom and the teacher was welcoming her in front of the unimpressed students.
"... and now, why don't you introduce yourself," she caught the end of teacher's speech.
"My name is Geum Jan Di. Let's be friends and take care of each other," Jan Di said with smile turned to a maximum.
Teacher was clearly amused, but also put off by the modified traditional greeting, because she smiled and frowned at the same time. Jan Di liked that response: she often confounded people.
"Yah! That's the Wonder Girl. She's a scholarship kid. So, we all, in a way paid for her..." said a redhead girl with a haughty sneer, emphasizing the word scholarship. Clearly, Jan Di committed the grave sin of being born low middle class. But her last words really drive the point of how little they thought of Jan Di. 'Paid for her,' was the clincher. The redhead might as well have called Jan Di a prostitute.
Jan Di breathed and said slowly, "My reputation precedes me. Well, let me return the favor. I don't know you at all. Other than I had to stop a guy from jumping and thus making you all accomplices in the involuntary manslaughter." Jan Di held the redhead's startled gaze and then shrugged. "For that act of moral duty I have been asked by Madam Kang personally to attend the school for young sociopa- Sorry, the exclusive school of known academic excellence for the future leaders of the country. It would be interesting, I'm sure."
She heard a muffled snort-cough from beside her that was probably made by a teacher. Again, she must have confounded him.
Faces of people around her visibly shuttered and they all looked at her with displeasure. Well, then, the feeling was mutual.
She smiled wide and nodded in the growing silence.
"So, I'll take the spot over there," she told the teacher and pointed at the empty table in the back. She walked thinking that her attempt to lie low was abysmal. Now, Ga Eul would scold her for being mouthy again...
She was almost half way down the aisle when the same redhead stuck her foot out to trip Jan Di. But she saw it the last moment and easily jumped over the obstacle. As she did it, she swung her back pack as if trying to balance herself and the bag thwacked the girl on her red head.
"Ow!" the girl cried. "Watch what you are doing!"
"Sorry," Jan Di said exaggeratedly. "But I was watching where I was going. Didn't want to stomp over your pretty shoes. Take care not to stick them out. Otherwise, I might not see them in time."
Everyone who was sitting in the vicinity looked out to see the redhead's dainty stiletto Mary-janes all delicate and expensive next to Jan Di's combat boots on thick soles. The contrast couldn't be more jarring and Jan Di smirked at the girl, who huffed but pulled her feet out of the way.
Jan Di took the empty seat in the back and when she lifted her eyes, she saw an amused almost smile hiding in the corner of the teacher's mouth. So, he must have known what sort of entitled and spoiled kids he got to teach. And was amused by her approach to them. The thing was, he probably couldn't do much to the students here. He could be fired without much fanfare if one of these kids complained about him, so he couldn't discipline them as much as he wanted to. Good thing that Jan Di had no such compunctions.
The redhead girl turned to Jan Di and glared at her in what supposed to be a condescending and threatening way. Jan Di only winked at her, making the redhead sputter and turned away.
By the time lunch rolled in, Jan Di was famished and mildly irritated with the prissy girls in her class. Most of them were definitely following the lead of Ginger - as the redhead was called - and only spared Jan Di snooty glances and upturned noses. All of the girls were alike in that they dressed the part of the young, pretty and wealthy. Jan Di thought wryly that if any one of them were in her old school, they'd stand out as polished and fashionable, but here, where every single one of them was like that, they all blended together into a mass of blown-out hair, short skirts, designer bags and high heels. Somehow it made Jan Di stand out - in her trusty combat boots, straight untreated hair, minimal make-up and worn backpack.
She walked into the cafeteria and scanned the crowd. It was easy to tell the cliques: ultra-rich, rich, less rich, jocks, nerds... She wondered if the nerds and scholarship kids were largely the same group. She doubted any of the groups would welcome her right not and proceeded to find an empty table. She was near the table with nerdy kids and at some point one of them started talking to her.
"Hey, Wonder Girl. You should try and lay low in this school. They don't like poor people here. They don't like anyone who isn't like them."
"That part I get. Loud and clear. And I planned to do just that: fly under the radar. But my personality is too big to be ignored," Jan Di sassed and the guy snorted at her boast.
"You won't last long here."
Jan Di looked at him carefully: glasses, thin face, lanky arms, pocket protector. He practically telegraphed that he was strong in math and had probably a hidden rebellious streak. How else would the pocket protector be explained? It must be like a red cloth for the jocks and bullies and, yet, he wore it out. So, she smiled at him, feeling adventurous.
"Wanna bet? Currently, the school custodian thinks I need to last a week to get a locker. You think I wouldn't last much longer. I think I will graduate from here. So, wanna bet?"
The guy's eyes lit up in anticipation of calculating odds and the rest of the children at the table, who were all paying attention to the conversation, turned to her with various expressions.
"My name is Lee Yo Han," the betting boy said.
"Geum Jan Di. It's better than Wonder Girl. Or New Girl."
Before the day was over, Yo Han already was running his booking operation. Jan Di and he devised the rules. Or rather, Jan Di insisted that those who bet on her survival in Shinhwa High, were not allowed to interfere in her life as a student. So, those who thought she'd leave couldn't bully her and those who bet that she'd survive, couldn't help her out. If they did, they automatically forfeit their bet and pay additional penalty.
Of course, she was the only one betting on herself right now, but her rule had one important outcome for her: she guaranteed neutrality of those who bet.
So, as the result of her conversation with Lee Yo Han, she had ended the day with a few more acquaintances at this ice-box of the school where most people were set to shun her.
Of course, Jan Di should have known that her attitude would not sit well with the powers that be of the Shinhwa High.
Later that day she was stumbled upon the old janitor, who was logging a caddy with the water bucket and bunch of brooms. She was a dutiful daughter and respected her elders, so she offered to take the caddy to the closet at the end of the hallway. Too late she realized that the caddy was actually heavy and the water from the bucket sloshed and spilled a little along the way. She was fuming silently and cursed her own accommodating nature.
Moving in the direction of the closets, she did not stop cursing and did not watch her path at all. Turning the corner, she hit someone with all her might. The impact was strong, and she lost her balance and landed on the floor, realizing that the damn bucket came loose from its hold in the caddy. There was a splash, the clang of a bucket falling on the floor and then silence ...
"That stupid bucket! The hell I tried to help!" Jan Di cursed, gingerly reaching for her tender bottom, while still keeping her skirt down. She rubbed the spot that hurt the most and only then looked up.
Instantly all swearing flew out of her head, drowned by sheer surprise and panic...
Right in front of her stood Goo Joon Pyo with all three of his minions. His snow-white shirt and black jeans were wet through. Dark hair hung loose and his mouth parted slightly. Yeah, the shower of dirty water did not do him any favors.
The guy, slightly coming to himself, thought to look down and saw her. His eyes were so furious, she almost instinctively tried to become smaller, in anticipation of trouble.
She got up, dusting off her uniform, and shrugged.
"Sorry, didn't see you there."
The three minions had varying degrees of amused expression, while Joon Pyo looked like he was about to erupt. "YOU... Didn't... You!"
"I mean, I just turned the corner and this caddy is freaking huge," she went on to explain as she moved away from the now shaking guy. "Listen, I'm really sorry. How about you send the clothes to me for cleaning?"
She helpfully waived the business card of her parents' cleaner and when he didn't react, she simply placed into the breast pocket of his wet shirt.
"All right. I'll leave you to - whatever you were doing. Bye!"
And with that Jan Di turned on her heel and ran from the hallway of doom.
At home, when she remembered his narrowed, fierce black eyes, she realized that her mission to graduate Shinhwa became almost impossibly difficult.
Needless to say, she was issued the red card.
...
By the end of the week in Shinhwa High, Jan Di had at least a dozen of verbal confrontations with the haughty students ('hey, dirty commoner' was parried by her 'inbreeding is a real issue and people should check their family trees to confirm its not a one line'); jumped over any number of stuck feet intended to trip her; was pushed in hallways only to swing back hard with her backpack flying to smack whoever was behind her; was glad she had no locker because at least no one tried to pour soured milk into it since they tried to do it to her backpack. Of course, the guy who did it, got his neck wrung when she put him in a headlock and asked him politely to leave her things alone or she would be pressing charges of theft and/or stalking. The guys hissed something like 'bitch' but left her be.
...
She was at lunch, sitting her usual table and tuning out all the usual chatter around her. Her eyes were glued to the phone as she and Ga Eul were texting about their afternoon shift. She probably wouldn't have noticed it, but there was a burst of laughter and then it got quiet like someone was intentionally trying to keep it down. There was the mocking tone to the laughter and she figured that someone was about to do something for entertainment. Seeing as this was Shinhwa, Jan Di looked up to see if the nerds were in trouble, when she spotted a projectile flying at her. Whatever it was, it was coming fast and Jan Di only had to time to raise the tray as a shield. A small tetra pack of milk collided with the tray and splattered on contact, spraying everything the tray in sticky liquid. People yelped and complained and Jan Di dropped her shield that kept her dairy-free.
"I'm just saying," she said loudly to be heard. "But when engaged in hostile operations, be mindful of the collateral damage. Also, don't be wasteful. This was single use package, it now would have to go to trash. We're custodians of the Earth."
…
She came back from the swim meet to find that her locker was broken into and coffee was spilled over her books and notes. She carefully picked through the damaged stuff and said aloud.
"I asked not to be wasteful. The notes are just my scribbles and I can always recreate them. The book, on the other hand, were paid for by the Shinhwa scholarship fund. Now, I would have to get new ones. So, in a way, you are wasting your own money."
Of course, she booby-trapped the locker. And kept her things in plastic bag. Just in case.
…
One of Ginger's friends - Miranda - had spat a chewing gum at Jan Di, because 'poor plebes must know their place.' Of course, her slur had lost its power to sting, when Jan Di lunged at Miranda and stuck the chewing gum into the other girl's hair. Miranda wailed and the two of them were dragged to the Dean of Student Affairs. Who happened to be the same woman, who smirked at Jan Di's soliloquy at the front office.
"Miss Geum, I hope you understand that Shinhwa has standards of student behavior and what you were used to at your previous school would not be acceptable here. We care about student's deportment," the woman said evenly.
Jan Di opened her eyes wide in the earnest fashion and spoke quickly, "Oh, I care about student deportment too. This is why I did it to Miranda. She must learn that her actions have consequences. I just demonstrated to her - in a very expedient fashion - that if she when she litters at school, it is someone's thankless job to clean up. This way - because she has to clean up herself - she understand that littering is bad."
The Dean Kim looked at Jan Di like she was holding her own laughter, while Miranda went off on a rant about telling her parents and demanding that Jan Di be expelled.
To which Jan Di casually added that the CCTV footage would show that Miranda was, in fact, first to spit the gum at a fellow student. If she insisted on expulsion, then she should be expelled too.
Needless to say, Miranda shut up and withdrew her complaint.
...
She was leaving the school, when her idiot classmates, following the mob instinct, started pelting her with eggs and flour. She knew who instigated them, so when she spotted the 'Tall and Curly' not far away, she sprinted through the crowd and threw herself at Joon Pyo. He had no chance to dodge and she placed her arms around him. People around them stopped and gawked at their king getting messy. No one dared to throw anything at her now that Joon Pyo would be in the cross hairs.
"I just thought you'd like to see how well your minions are following your orders. See!" she gleefully pointed at the large egg and flour stain on his designer clothes and even patted his cheek making sure to smear the gooey yolk on his skin. "See? It's so messy!" She was cheerful enough that Joon Pyo's shocked expression turned angry.
"Dry-cleaner! Get your filthy self away from me!" he roared, but Jan Di only patted him again. Pissed off, he pushed hard enough that she stepped back.
"I wouldn't be so quick to call me names. You are just as filthy." She looked him up and down carefully and then said loudly. "You know, I think you should bring your clothes to our dry-cleaner. Only this time, you'd pay the full price, plus the cost of cleaning my uniform. It is, after all, your fault." She pulled out another business card and stuck it into his breast pocket. "See yah!"
...
Jan Di just left the lockers after her practice when she was grabbed from behind. Naturally, she drove her elbow into the guy behind her and then threw an uppercut into the jaw of the guy in front of her. Both boys groaned and the third one tried to rush her. It was obviously idiotic as Jan Di dodged and when the guy was near her, she kicked him hard to make him fall. Not letting any of them to regroup, she kicked some more, wherever she could: knees, shins, torsos.
"I know you're following orders, but when it comes to it, you'd be charged with attempted rape and battery. Do you think Joon Pyo would foot the bill of your lawyers? Not to mention that I might go to the press about it. Even if prosecutors would be bribed by your parents, once the story is out there, your reputations would be dead. You really should think for yourself sometimes. Also, how are you so idiotic? There are CCTVs everywhere."
She delivered one last kick and dusted off her hands, massaging her knuckles from when she punched one of them. Just as she was about to leave, the bottle-blond F4 - Yoon Ji Hoo - appeared. It took him half a second to figured out what when down in the hallway.
"Oh... You took care of them already," he said softly.
Jan Di looked at the guy - always so pristine clean in white - and wondered if this guy had ever experienced any normal emotions.
"I wonder why people are convinced that you're a good guy," she mused aloud. "As you can see, this damsel needs no knights to save her. You go ahead and cruise through your life like a fluffy cloud, ignoring all the people around you."
"What are you-" he began, puzzled.
"Just that you are friends with the curly idiot. Obviously you don't mind his tactics."
"I never-" he tried to interject.
"Sure, you'd never... But it doesn't matter, since you also never stop your friend. There is no such thing as an innocent bystander."
She marched to the F4 recreational room and kicked the door open. Without stopping for any explanations, she approached Joon Pyo and delivered her signature roundhouse kick. He fell back into the chair and the other two F4s sat with mouths hung open.
"Listen, you inbred tool. If you ever order something like what just happened at the lockers, my next kick would be to your family jewel. I'll kick your balls so hard, they'd retreat back into your body. If you have problems with me, face me like a man instead sending your imbecilic minions. I must warn you, I won't hold back and I will maim you. And then I'll walk away from your sniveling bloody body with my head held high. Understood?"
Then she walked out, hearing how Ji Hoo upbraided his friend for sinking so low as to get a girl sexually assaulted. The Spoiled Prince actually denied ordering anything of the kind. 'I only asked them to frighten her...'
So maybe he wasn't a complete psycho, but definitely a jerk.
Since that day, the F4 left her alone. Of course, Goo Joon Pyo sneered and threw verbal put-downs (which she always volleyed back) and Yoon Ji Hoo would sometimes look at her with an uncomfortable focus, but the 'red card' campaign ended with a sort of moratorium on any overt hostile actions.
Jan Di liked her odd at graduating from school.
A/N: As you can see, Jan Di is very much like herself, but also is very mouthy and sarcastic. This was a prologue. I will be setting the plot in the next chapter. Also, you know me, I usually update twice a week. So look for a Wednesday or a Thursday update.