A.N: 1) I own none of the characters 2) I will NOT be writing in Shakespearian english!

Hey, i'm Josie Hardy, and this is the first time i've ever willingly had anything to do with Shakespeare that hasn't been a Lit assignment, so i thought it was about time i got my revenge... read and review!

Dear diary,

Sometimes a king is as (or even more) foolish than his fool. Today was the royal dividing of the kingdom between Regan, Gonerill, and I. Father had already made his decision, but he decided to make himself feel a little better by requesting that we make speeches declaring our love to him so that he might find out 'which of you shall we say doth love us most?'

So, naturally my sisters make wonderfully poetic speeches that they can't breathe for their love for him and they can't speak - although they seemed to manage perfectly well - and that all they need to be happy is his love. Please!

Well, after they said all that I got worried, because I didn't know what to say to compare to their claims, and there was nothing I could say to him that would express my true love for him, so I told the truth; I love him dearly, but it cannot be put into words. This was how that worked;

ME: Nothing, my lord.

FATHER: Nothing? (looking shocked; how dare she refuse to declare her love to us!)

ME: Nothing. (you didn't expect me to change my mind, did you?)

FATHER: Nothing will come of nothing, speak again. (apparently either Regan's right, and I am his favourite, or he can't stand to be insulted in front of his attendants)

So I did, and I told him that I love him as a daughter should love her father, no more nor less and that if my sisters love him as much as they say they do they should not have been able to marry. This, as you can imagine, was not taken well. As king, he expects everyone to love him and to express their devotion at every opportunity; when he wants to hear confirmation that he should divide his kingdom between his daughters, the last thing he wants to be told is that she just 'loves' him.

He disowned me after that and Kent did try to help 'Good my liege' but that got us nowhere, as the confounded dragon and his wrath refused to listen, and just banished him too. If he carries on at that rate, he'll end up not only old and powerless, but alone as well.

He's too insensitive to be a king anyway, unless it's just that uncontrollable anger/wrath of his. How does he present me to my suitors? 'her price is fallen. She is nothing, a small deceptive thing. Do you still want her?'

The duke of Burgundy decided that since I have no status and wealth I am not worth taking as a wife, but theking of France claimed that although the gods have neglected me and I am unvalued, I am precious and he has a passsionate admiration for me. So we are to wed, and not to return to the palace. Well, if theking is the only one who is mature enough to be able to rise above status and love me when my own father refuses me becauseI cannot bring myself to declare fathoms of fake love to him, I'd rather be away.

See if I try to put a halt to my sisters' plot to strip him of his powers because he's old and unpredictable. I know I should, but I doubt anyone would listen; after all, according to Gonerill I deserve to be valued as nothing, and should be grateful that the duke has taken me as a gift of charity.

And anyway, did I not hear how much they love him? He's the king! How could his own besotted daughters try to destroy him? Yes, the wonderful innocent children. You'll see...

Love,

Cordelia