Notes:
- Disclaimer: I do not own any Total Drama characters.
- This rewrite will be nearly the same at the start, it won't start to really diverge from what All-Stars came to be until later. Challenges are the same, plot-line is not.
- If you're looking for a radically different elimination order, you will not find it here and this retelling is not for you.
- Sierra has been replaced with Leshawna. Sam has been swapped with Owen. Dawn is taking Lindsay's place. The rest of the cast is the same.
- If you're mainly looking for different interactions and new interpretations of characters, this story will most likely meet your interests.
- EDMONTON REMAND CENTER, ALBERTA -
Chef entered the reasonably high security prison with clear uncertainty marked on his face. To be be completely fair though, you had consider it's been a year since his old hosting partner Chris McLean was placed here. And Chef hadn't gone to see him once, so naturally he'd be a bit nervous right?
He walked down the narrow hallways of the 3rd floor of the building, making his way down to the back where he was told Chris would be. Sure enough, after the intimidating and downright weird faces the inmates were making directed at him,
"The Crusty Cockroaches have a huge lead over the Soiled Stank-bombs!" he heard Chris yell.
"Cram it McLane!" another inmate yelled in response.
There was laughing from other prisoners, clearly Chris was somewhat of an outcast here. But there was Chris, with his full attention fixed on some cockroaches. "He must've gone insane during the last year of bein' alone" thought Chef to himself.
"Lightning has just passed Duncan! The heat is on!" Chris bellowed.
He noticed someone standing outside his cell, none other than his old friend Chef…
"Well well well, look who finally decided to visit me after a whole year!" spoke Chris, acknowledging Chef's presence.
"Come on! You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste" Chef replied.
"Whatever, think I'll stay right here. Got everything I need, including Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew" he gestures to the cashew with sharpie marks on it.
Chef's only response is to slip the envelope to Chris through a slot in his cell.
"What's this?"
"Your contract. The producers have green-lit another season. So, you in?"
"It is on!"
- CAMP WAWANAKWA, ONTARIO -
"Welcome to Total Drama: All-Stars!" Chris began. "After my year-long involuntary vacation, I really need to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love… to hurt" Chris finishes as he chuckles.
"It's a condition of my parole, except the hurt part, yeah? That's all McClane. So, I'm bringing back 14 TD all stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying one-million dollar competition ever! And here they are now!"
Chris motions to the helicopter above him, with 14 past competitors above.
"From Revenge of the Island, say hello to multiple Mike! A.K.A Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba."
Mike shifts between all of his personalities in the sky, before falling into the lake.
"Mike's pushover crush turned powerhouse, Zoey!"
"Ah, Mike!" she says before immediately diving in to see if he's okay.
"Athletic non-supporter, Lightning!"
"You call that a dive, watch this! Sha-ow!" he says before Chef kicks him off the plane.
"Bubble boy brainiac, Cameron!"
"This is highly illogical!" he yells before being tossed down to the lake.
"The tree hugging moon child, Dawn."
Dawn falls, though somehow managing to slow herself down to avoid a painful splash.
"Challenge throwing dirt farmer, Scott."
"AAAAAHHHHH" he yells after failing to cling to Chef's leg.
"Bossy bruiser Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her."
"You're a dead man McLane" she says after pushing Chef off her, before he gets up and shoves her out of the plane.
Chris and Chef take a moment to sit there and laugh, only waiting for what's in store this season.
"And from our original cast, cranky know-it-all C.I.T Courtney!"
"This is not in my contract!" she screams before being dropped by Chef.
"Courtney's bestie turned boyfriend thief, Gwen!"
"He wasn't her boyfriend at the time!" she booms as she's plummeting to the lake.
"Brutish bad boy Duncan."
"Bring it on!" he says, hand crossed not intimidated by heights.
"Devious diva, Heather."
"I hate Chris!" she shrieks as she falls.
"The girl with attitude, Leshawna."
"Burn my contract I dare you!" she simply says right before she hits the water.
"The big guy himself, Owen!"
The entire cast looks up in shock, seeing as the biggest member of the cast is about to fall and possibly kill all of them. They all swim as far away from where they think he'll land.
"Wahooooo!" he yells as he falls ready to belly flop murder everyone.
He hits the water, and despite their best attempts everyone is completely swept away by the massive waves Owen caused.
"And, feral freak show, Ezekiel!" Chris finishes off announcing the competitors.
He makes some feral sounding noises with a sadistic grin as he prepares to land, all the other competitors look up in shock. Suddenly a plunger grabs him, it belonged to a robot.
"Hahahahah! Kidding. No way is that guy coming back again."
Suddenly the robot launches him away, and Ezekiel screams as he disappears into the horizon.
"Man, it's great to be back!"
As everyone finally manages to wash up ashore, Chris and his tin can reach the beach.
"Greetings old friends" Chris says with false comfort and sincerity.
"I am not your friend" Heather spits as she chokes up a starfish.
"Aww, somebody misses her lover boy" Gwen says in a mocking tone.
"Who, Alejandro? As if. I'm glad he isn't back, that handsome jerk." Heather spits as she pushes Gwen to the sand.
"You're gonna pay for my dry cleaning" Courtney says, directed towards Chris.
"No I'm not. New contracts, remember?" Chris smirks.
CONFESSIONAL: Courtney
She flicks a fly onto the wall, "same old Chris, same old disgusting island. What was I thinking?"
"In fact, we've got a lot of big changes this season. For one, the island is now 100% toxic waste free!"
No one seems really objected to it. But no more evil mutated animals, right? No one really celebrates, the competition will still be deadly. Chris will make sure of that.
"I've also upgraded your accommodations. This season, the losers still have to sleep in a stanky old cabin. But, the winners get to sleep in the all new eco friendly McLane Spa Hotel! Complete with butler, hot tub, and twenty-four hour masseuse."
The entire cast cheers with delight! The drive to win has never seemed so high before.
"And in honor of your All-Star status, I'm dividing you into teams based on your past performances. Heroes versus villains!"
CONFESSIONAL: Heather
With her hands to her hips and a confident tune to her voice, "obviously, I'll be on the villains team. And I'll be running it by lunch."
CONFESSIONAL: Gwen
"Heroes versus villains? Guess Duncan and I won't be on the same team. Unless Chris considers Duncan a hero" Gwen states as she laughs, "yeah right."
"Heather, Duncan, Lightning, Jo, Scott, and Gwen. From now on, you're the Villanous Vultures!" Chris beams.
"What! Why am I on the villains team?" Gwen says not fully believing it.
"Because you stole my boyfriend and became the new Heather?" Courtney says through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, what she said" Chris agreed.
"But I've done so many good things. I'm not a villain, I'm nice!"
"Being bad is cool, and now we're on the same team, so that's good right?" Duncan interjects.
"Yeah… I guess" Gwen sighs.
CONFESSIONAL: Duncan
"Oh man I only came back for Gwen. She better not sulk the whole time, or I may as well be dating Courtney!"
"Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Dawn, Courtney, Leshawna and Owen. You're the Heroic Hamsters!" Chris beams once again.
"Excuse me, but how are hamsters heroic?" Courtney asks.
"Girl, you need to learn to pick and choose your battles" Leshawna says, earning a side glare from Courtney.
"She's right. And besides, it was that or the Heroic Hippos!" Chris snarkily grins.
"... Hamsters it is!" Courtney says, everyone seeing through her now fake enthusiasm.
"Wait a minute! They have seven people to our six, no fair!" Jo suddenly says.
"I needed the seat on the plane for that Ezekiel prank!" Chris defended.
It was met with nothing but an angry stare from Jo.
"Fine, you can have the robot" Chris looks defeated, as he presses a button to allow it some form of free will.
The robot beeps and makes noises, before moving to stand right next to Heather.
"I thought your robot could talk" Scott says.
"Meh, the communication chip stop working ages ago"
"Keep your distance, toaster" Heather says pushing the robot slightly away from her.
CONFESSIONAL: Heather
"There is something about that robot I just don't like" Heather says as she shivers.
"This season's challenges all nod to classics from the past, but with harsh new twists to make this toughest Total Drama season ever!" Chris says with his typical sadistic grin. "Your first challenge, find the key to the spa hotel! And, you'll do it in a homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge. Cliff diving into water, infested with ravenous sharks!"
CONFESSIONAL: Scott
"O-okay, so maybe I have a phobia of s-s-sharks. Can you blame me?"
"Once you dive into the water, try to avoid the sharks long enough, try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key, and choose wisely, only one of those suckers is the real deal. Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land, a teammate will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from Season 3's Race Through Central Park. First team to unlock the spa door wins, and someone from team loser will be going home tonight. Meet me at the base of the cliff in 15 minutes. Chop chop."
"Wait, shouldn't we change into our swimsuits or something first?" Mike asked.
"Sorry, no time!" Chris yelled back.
Both teams begin to make their way to the base of the cliff, everyone ready to relax in that spa hotel.
"Ugh, I said keep away from me!" Heather says to the robot.
"So Owen, what brought you back? Haven't you already won a season?" Zoey asked.
"I'm just here for the fun, y'know? I love competing on the show, so here I am ready to have fun with some old friends. Oh! And some new ones too" Owen responded.
CONFESSIONAL: Owen
"I'm so stoked to be here again! I'm just a little worried about how I'll fit in with my team… But hey, Courtney and Leshawna are here and Leshawna and… Courtney… are great! Yeah, both of them are" he nervously finishes before farting.
"Excuse me" Heather says, pushing herself in front of Jo.
"Watch it, old Heather" Jo responds.
"You watch it, newbie" she responds.
"Guys, just because Chris labeled us villains doesn't mean we have to act like villains. We're a team, we should work together as a team!" Gwen says, trying to calm the tension between her teammates.
Everyone falsely cheers, agreeing with Gwen and saying she's right.
CONFESSIONAL: Heather
"No way is that going to happen. I-"
CONFESSIONAL: Jo
"Don't trust-"
CONFESSIONAL: Duncan
"Anyone-"
CONFESSIONAL: Scott
"On this-"
CONFESSIONAL: Robot
"*beep* *beep*"
CONFESSIONAL: Lightning
"Team!"
- CONFESSIONAL: Gwen-
"Huh. I think that went well."
"Ugh, Courtney keeps glaring at me like she's trying to… set me on fire" Gwen complains.
"I'll give her a glare back for ya." Duncan reassures her.
He glares at Courtney, and she immediately begins to ignore him.
"Uh, hello? Courtney? Hey!" Duncan shouts at her.
CONFESSIONAL: Duncan
"I'm used to having girls yell at me, even punch me. But blank me? Tha-That's just wrong. Uh, I mean whatever."
"How's dealing with Duncan been so far girl?" Leshawna asks Courtney.
"Ugh, I'm not dealing with him. I'm just gonna try and pretend he doesn't exist for as long as I can." Courtney hastily replies.
"Hmm… seems like Duncan's not really what's got you upset here" Leshawna guesses.
"I mean… he's a bad boy. I knew it couldn't last forever. But Gwen, I thought we were friends" Courtney grits her teeth again.
"I don't know, I don't think you realize Gwen's not trying to hurt ya"
"Whether or not she's trying, she did. And I'm not forgiving her for it"
"Suit yourself, then"
The teams make it to the base of the cliff, and they're ready to hear further instructions.
"Hey there All-Stars!" Chris yells as he descends to the ground using a jetpack, sending dirt flying into the faces of the campers.
"Here are your carriages! Blood red for the Villanous Vultures, and pure as gold for the Heroic Hamsters! You've got 30 seconds to pick your carriage drivers, starting now!"
"I'll drive" Scott exclaims.
"No, I'll drive!" Jo says too.
"Sha-please, you're the slowest go-kart driver ever!" Lightning intejects.
"But I'm also the shopping cart racing circuit champion!" Jo defends herself.
CONFESSIONAL: Jo
"No I'm not. I just said that because-"
CONFESSIONAL: Lightning
"Gotta respect championship status, Jo drives."
Lightning carries Scott away on his shoulder, leaving Jo with the carriage.
"But Jo, wouldn't you make a better diver since you're so athletic?" Gwen inquires.
"Nobody tells me what to do gothball, and don't even try to kiss me!" Jo shoots her down.
CONFESSIONAL: Gwen
"After 3 seasons of kindness, I'm reduced to evil kisser status? For the last time, Duncan and Courtney were over before he and I started. You can't steal a boyfriend if the boy is free!"
"10 seconds left for the Heroes!" Chris says.
"Hmm… I'll do it!" Zoey exclaims.
"Okay, everyone but Jo and Zoey, up the cliff you go."
Everyone not driving a carriage is forced to walk up to the very top of the cliff.
"Sha-first!" Lightning exclaims, as the rest of the campers follow shortly behind him.
Mike, Zoey and Scott all look over the edge of the cliff and see a rather familiar face… they all scream in shock "Fang!"
"Who?" Gwen peaks over as well, a little alarmed.
"Who's the best key spotter, and who's dead in the shark infested water? Find out when we return, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!" Chris cuts to the commercials.