"You need my help."
I shrugged. Ashamed, embarrassed, guilty. Scared.
"Why not ask my brother, your boyfriend?"
I blushed and looked away, not that I was ever looking at him in the first place. "Never mind."
He scoffed. When I looked over again, he was gone.
- x -
"Why did you skip the last half of the day?"
I looked up at Stefan, but caught Damon's sharp glance over his shoulder.
Caroline was helping me with biology, and Bonnie and Tyler were going over Spanish.
- x -
The next day, I was helping Tyler with math.
We always got together at the boarding house.
I wasn't exactly dating Stefan, like Damon had implied, not since Caroline turned; I gave her all my attention. But the boarding house was big enough for all of us. Ric and Jenna were still on their way, and Jeremy was to my left. Tyler's parents were happy because Tyler was getting help. The sheriff felt safe because Damon could 'handle' a vampire. Bonnie's dad liked that it was more than just her, Caroline, and I, so she couldn't practice her 'magics'. Even Matt would join us on his off days. I liked having everyone together.
"Seriously." I finally glanced up. "Earth to Elena. I have your attention, now?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you cut the last half of the day, again?"
My eyes were drawn to Damon, like they always were, lately. He was glaring at me.
- x -
Wednesday, Ric pulled me outside, away from ears.
I don't know why he didn't have this conversation inside. Damon, Stefan, and Caroline would be able to hear us perfectly, anyway.
"Elena."
"Just don't, Ric."
"I have to. Come on, Elena. Why are you skipping the last part of school? Biology?"
It wasn't biology.
I felt the sting of humiliation as hot tears ran down my face.
"Elena."
"I can't."
I'm scared. But how could I tell anyone?
Finally, he let me inside. I didn't look at him, but I felt the heat of Damon's eyes on my back.
- x -
Thursday, the principal called me into his office.
"Are you going to skip out on your last three classes, Elena?"
"I'll still go to math," I conceded.
And, the stupid part was, I knew everybody would understand if I just told them.
But I couldn't. How could I?
- x -
Friday, everyone was at The Grill. Everyone except me.
I had missed three math classes, five biology classes.
And five gym classes.
"What's your problem?" Damon was sitting on my windowsill; he was curious, not accusatory. "How can I help?"
I focused my eyes back on the frayed edges of my rug.
"Hey." Suddenly, he was next to me, nudging my shoulder.
"You know Stefan saved me, when my parents died." I took a deep breath. "From drowning." He didn't say anything. "And it's stupid, but I can't. You know." I found my nails suddenly very interesting. "I don't mind gym. But, we're, uh. Doing the swim section. And – I can't."
"Come on."
After the silence, I jumped. "What?"
"Come on."
"It's nighttime, Damon."
"Come on."
I got up and followed him, accepting defeat. We get into his pretty blue car, and he drove.
He drove down to the river, where the current wasn't much of anything. The moon was bright, and there were a few street lights lining the road. He stopped at a rock, and took his socks and shoes off, and motioned for me to do the same.
I was terrified.
He had chosen the other end – the other half of Mystic Falls – the part of the river where my parents hadn't died – where I had almost died.
"Shh."
I found myself sitting, and Damon was carefully taking my socks and shoes off, too. He led me down to the water, tugging me.
I was able to wade, just fine. His pants got soaked, and my legs weren't happy that I was only wearing shorts. But when the water got to my knees, I tried to make for shore.
"Hey." He kept a firm grasp on my hand, and tugged me closer – not farther out, but closer. "I won't let anything happen to you."
I nodded, but couldn't make eye contact.
That's why I called him in the first place.
Damon wouldn't make fun of me. He wouldn't make me feel bad. He made me feel safe. And, I knew, above anything else, that he would never let anything happen to me.
Soon, the water reached the bottom of my shorts. I could only imagine how uncomfortable he was in pants. I tried to pull away again, but he wouldn't let me go.
I wiped the tears from my eyes, furious at myself for crying.
Ashamed.
"Hey."
The water barely seemed to ripple, but then my back was to his chest and he just held me, arm securely across my waist, still holding my hand.
We stayed like that, silent, for a long time.
- x -
Saturday night, we did the same thing.
When the water reached my knees, I tried to go back, but he stopped me. He started to walk backwards, let me walk at my own pace. His face was entirely neutral. No smirk, no smile, no teasing.
But he was slowly walking backwards, deeper and deeper, and I finally had to break eye contact.
The water reached almost to the top of my shorts, and I couldn't stop the tears.
"No, hey, it's okay."
He hugged me, again. That's what it was. A hug. An embrace.
I hadn't felt this safe in a long time.
- x -
He knew his limits, Sunday.
We stood, standing, my back to his chest, the water just above the top of my shorts.