Title: Reasons to be Smug
Author: AznSage
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Pairings: Honda/Otogi--or is it Otogi/Honda?, implied Yugi/Jounochi
Rating: PG-13
Note: This was a line challenge from Triste from the drabble meme over on my LJ. She wanted HonTogi goodness, so here it is. ^_^ Brownie points to the person who can figure out the line that was the challenge. It was supposed to be 100-500 words, but ended up being around 1000. *sweatdrop*
Otogi was undoubtedly smug that afternoon. He had just bested Yugi and Jounochi at a game of DDD (mainly because Yugi kept trying to cover for Jounochi, but he overlooked that unimportant little detail) and on his walk back from Yugi's place, he had found a million yen bill[1] on the ground completely unattended (whoever lost it must not really want it, he reasoned). Life was good. What would make life even better was a quick romp with his wayward love. Or a nice long shampooing of his beautiful hair. He couldn't decide which would be better, so best to go home first before choosing.
When he had arrived, he had found his door had been left slightly ajar. Which he was absolutely positively sure was not right. He was not there to watch the shop, so he had locked the doors that morning. Just like he did every morning before. And every morning before that. And so on and so forth. So what could have caused this? Never one to be off his guard, he grabbed the first thing that he reached for. Unfortunately, it was a stuffed rabbit. He groaned and made a mental note to keep inventory like billiard cues closer to the door. And perhaps the heavier ones near the cashier counter, afterall, they might come in handy one of these days.
Quietly padding into the store, he waited for any sounds to point him in the direction of the intruder. Closing his eyes, he listened.
The secret little room. That room in the back of the store where he and Yugi had held their infamous DDD match. How would a thief know that it was even there? Alarmed, Otogi ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Which wasn't very fast, mind you, he was too used to the star treatment from Honda and just, in general, being rich, which required very little walking, but more of a commanding voice that carried to about as far as a chauffeur would be.
When he flung the doors open to the room, the sight that beheld him was not one that he had anticipated at all. Out of all the possible scenarios, this was definitely not one that had seemed sensible to him.
Of course, when dealing with Honda, things were never sensible. Not in the terms that one would normally hold it anyway.
So Otogi said the only thing that one could say in a situation like this.
"What the hell are you doing with those billiard balls?!"
"Rm iying doo empress joo." Came the muffled replied.
"What?! Take those stupid billiard balls out of your mouth!"
"Rm iying doo duu det, hut et hont hout."
"I have no idea what you just said." Otogi stalked over to Honda, muttering curses in his mind about how idiotic Honda was. "Here, let me help you. Stop squirming, damnit!" He held down the other with one arm while trying to pry the billiard out from the iron jaws of one Honda Hiroto, succeeding only after many death threats and curses were flung. Not to mention some teeth too.
After an hour of squirming left and right, hands reaching into mouths in ways that were never thought possible, the great Otogi Ryuji had finally relieved Honda of the massive weight of two billiard balls from his mouth. Tossing the balls over to a side, he made another mental note to himself about buying a new set that was drool-free.
Plastering a harsh look on his face and then "harumph"-ing to emphasize his point, Honda sulked at the other side of the table, leaning comfortably on the edge just enough to let him balance on a foot. "You didn't have to do that you know."
"Yes I did. I don't exactly want my boyfriend dying from trying to be an idiot."
"I was just trying to impress you."
Otogi just gave him a skeptical look from his place by the wall, leaning just enough so that with the force of a push, he could pounce on Honda if he wanted to. "Really? How so?"
"There's this thing called the Guinness Book of World Records. If I had gotten into it, I would've been famous. And you would be famous with me 'cause we're together and all that, you know? Besides, you always tell me to get a special skill of some sort."
"That book is for freaks with nothing but free time and a death wish. And I meant a useful skill. Like how Jounochi can cook and not burn it."
"Well, it seemed possible when I looked at it. It wasn't like I had to stuff that many billiard balls into my mouth. Besides, cooking and stuff like that isn't that special really."
"Really? How many is not that many? And yes, it is, considering your skills in the kitchen."
Honda stuck his tongue out at him in a childish manner and replied. "Well...er...eight."[2] At least he had the decency to blush at saying this.
Otogi glared. "You're such an idiot." He flipped his hair for emphasis. "Besides, it's not like I need you to become famous. I'm the creator of DDD and almost an even match for the King of Games himself. The world knows who I am."
"But you're not the King of Games, Yugi is. You're like...the Queen of Games."
"No I'm not. If I were, I'd have to be married to Yugi. And frankly, I think the only one who would want that is Jounochi. They're so sappy together I could hurl." He made a disgusted face to emphasize his point.
"True...well, what about Prince of Games, close enough right?"
"That's more like Seto, though he'd be more like Princess of Games with his constant PMS-y attitude."
"Well, I could always try and challence Yugi for King of Games, then that would make you the Queen of Games! Would that impress you?"
"First off, you would never be able to beat Yugi. Second, who said I would be a Queen?"
"Well, most of the time, I'm top..."
"We'll just see about that..." And with that Otogi pounced.
As Honda squirmed under him that afternoon, he felt unreasonably smug again.
-Owari-
[1]Not sure if there is one. Pretty sure there is though.
[2] Don't know if this is true, don't even know if there's a record for this, but I'm randomly guessing.
Reviews are much appreciated. ^_^