A/N: This is my first actual story/one-shot in ages. Please be kind to me, as I am fairly rusty. But I hope to post more often. My partner is giving me inspiration to get back into writing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked, nor any of its characters.
Prompt: It was your "I love you" that broke my heart the most.
Credit: quills-and-golden-ink (I wish I could post links here ahhhhhhhh)
The Hardest Part of Losing You
Kirra White Tigress
"You must leave," Elphaba muttered thickly, the letter between her fingers crumpling from the pressure exerted upon it. Her eyes remained fixed on the curved characters, her brow furrowed as if she were trying to come up with some sort of plan. But what? "You can't be found here. You have to go."
Glinda's heart sank. What brought on this sudden change in her? Just a moment ago they were screaming at each other, almost on the verge of a brawl, trying to get the other to see...something. A point? The truth? But now the fire in Elphaba had dissipated. Surrender wasn't quite what had replaced it, but it was apparent that her will to fight was slipping. Her jaw clenched. "No," she answered. "I'm staying."
"Glinda."
"We'll figure this out - together."
"Glinda."
"I'll get the Wizard to see reason! I'll tell them everything -"
"No!" At this, Elphaba's attention broke from the parchment. In fact, it had fluttered to the floor, its words concealed from the both of them, abandoned. Her eyes flashed with panic-filled fury - or maybe the other way around. "Glinda, if you do that, they'll turn on you!"
"I don't care!" Glinda broke the space between them at last. She brought her hands up - the action caused Elphaba to flinch instinctively - to cup the green face before her. She stroked Elphaba's cheeks with her thumbs; her heart melted when Elphaba leaned into the touch, when she brought her own hands up to cover Glinda's. Tears streamed down Glinda's face, though she couldn't remember when she had started crying. So many words left unspoken, so many things left undone… "I can fix everything," Glinda whispered. "I've earned enough favor with the Wizard. He will see reason, I'm sure of it. Just let me try! But I don't care if they turn on me. I just want more time with you. I want to make things right."
Elphaba was shaking her head long before Glinda had finished speaking. "You can't," she murmured over and over again. "You can't, they won't listen."
"I don't care."
"But I do." Elphaba pulled Glinda's hands away from her face. She kissed her palms - a gesture she had never done before, a gesture that broke Glinda's heart - before letting them fall. Elphaba turned away from her, scooping the letter off the ground in a fluid motion, and hurried over to another corner of a room. She quickly returned with a large, heavy tome.
The Grimmerie.
A sob tore itself from Glinda's throat at the sight of the book. How she wanted to rip its pages out, wanted to set it ablaze, wanted to cast it to another World! If it wasn't for that book, none of this would have happened! She would still have Elphaba's trust. Elphaba would have graduated from Shiz, would have stayed with her. Things could have been different, better...
"Here. Take this."
Glinda looked from the Grimmerie to Elphaba. The calculated acceptance of the situation was clear in Elphaba's eyes. She wasn't quite defeated, but something only a step above was evident. It was an expression she had only seen once before - right after she had defied the Wizard all those years ago, when she had left Glinda behind. Only this was more definitive. This plan didn't end with Elphaba soaring into the nighttime sky. This ended with something far worse. "Elphie," she said weakly. "Elphie, please."
Elphaba ignored her. "You must keep it a secret," she ordered. She held out the book, leaving no room for questioning. "You'll learn how to read it. You were always a promising student."
Whether Elphaba had meant that seriously or as a joke was the last thing on Glinda's mind. She could only stare at the book. The crude gold lettering on its leather face mocked her with all of her failings. She wanted to hurl it out the window and be rid of it once and for all. But like an idiot she took it. She almost dropped it, not prepared for the weight of it, but she quickly recovered and held it securely against her chest. Its magic seeped into her pores, threatening to overpower her, but she forced it out by imagining a bubble around her - a move Elphaba had taught her back at Shiz. The memory made her tremble.
A heavy banging on the door made the both of them startle. Glinda reached out to grab Elphaba's hand, but she only grasped at air. Elphaba was already moving - she grabbed her cloak and tossed it at Glinda; she found her broom and snapped it in two, discarding one of the pieces out the window; she waved her hand toward her looking glass and shattered it. Glinda wrapped the cloak tight around her. She knew all-too-well what Elphaba was doing, and she hated every self-defeating action. There was no way out, she knew, and Elphaba was making sure any tangible artifact couldn't be used for more damage.
"OPEN THE DOOR, WITCH!"
"Glinda."
Glinda squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She shook her head violently. This couldn't be happening. She refused to believe it. There had to be a way. There had to be something -
Elphaba caught her wrist. She dragged Glinda toward a corner of the room shielded by shadows. A door creaked open, and suddenly Glinda was stuffed into a dusty wardrobe. Panic welled inside her. She dropped the Grimmerie at last, letting it thud in the corner of the empty space. She stepped forward, reached out to Elphaba, and pulled her in close. Her embrace was returned almost immediately, even tighter than Glinda expected. Everything seemed to melt away. The only sounds in the room were their racing hearts, their heavy breaths. Glinda gripped the back of Elphaba's dress as if her life depended on it; she felt Elphaba's fingers press into her skin, almost as if she was trying to make them meld together.
"Please," Glinda whimpered. "Please let me save you…"
A kiss was pressed on the top of Glinda's head.
"Please," she tried again. "Please."
And then her head was tilted upwards, and Elphaba's lips found hers. The touch came as a complete shock to her, as it held in it so much certainty. Glinda didn't question it too long, though, because she met it with equal fervor, drinking Elphaba in and returning her feelings beat for beat.
The door splintered behind them.
Elphaba broke the kiss - too soon, too soon - and pushed Glinda deep into the darkness. Glinda made to close the distance again, but she stopped as soon as she saw the smile ghost across Elphaba's lips. Her eyes widened. No. This couldn't be. Not yet. Not now.
"Please -"
"I love you," Elphaba whispered.
The door to the wardrobe clicked closed at the same time the door to the rest of the room burst open.
Glinda screamed, scratching at the wooden barrier like a frightened animal. The splinters dug into her nails and fingertips, but no progress was made. No, no, no, no, NO! She screamed Elphaba's name over and over again, not caring who would hear her. But the book beside her hummed, its magic consuming her and silencing her cries, almost as if it thrived on her torment. But unlike earlier, she had no strength left to protect herself from its malevolence. She allowed it to pick apart her heart, deepening the wounds she already felt. Its only consolation was that Elphaba got her last wish - Glinda's protection and her silence.
A splash of water.
A sharp, pained, prolonged wail that rivaled Glinda's own cries.
The stomping of feet and a jubilant cheer.
Then silence.
Glinda barely registered the wardrobe creaking open. She didn't notice a furry hand reach for her. Her bloodshot eyes only noticed the familiar black hat, now drenched in water and practically half-dissolved. She blankly took the hat that was offered to her, hugging it to her chest as she shrugged the cloak further around her. She didn't want to acknowledge what this meant. Not yet.
Not when she didn't know what broke her heart the most - Elphaba's demise, or her last words.
Words that she would never have the chance to return.