Disclaimer: I'm not
pretending I own the X-Men. I'm only borrowing them long enough to warp their
lives. Dixie Chicks sing "Cold Day in July."
Rating: PG
Summary: What
Jean would think if Scott left her. (And it ain't "ooh…I can be with Logan now!")
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Everything Said with Goodbye
By: Addie Logan
The moon is full and
my arms are empty
All night long I've pleaded and cried
You always said the day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July
The others don't know
what's really going on. They think Scott just needs some time to clear his head
after everything that's happened the past few months. I haven't been able to
tell them the truth. It's still too painful to admit.
They think he's just
leaving the mansion for a little while to get some fresh air, sort things out.
I
know he's leaving me.
Your bags are packed
not a word is spoken
I guess we said everything with good-bye
Time moves so slow and promises get broken
On this cold day in July
We tried to work things out
after his reappearance from his stint of being "presumed dead." I tried
everything I could think of to make him love me the way he used to. But it was
a hopeless cause. Scott just wasn't the
same man he used to be.
In the past, he'd never
been anything but warm and loving. There'd never been any real emotional
distance between us. No matter what happened, we were there for each other,
ready to give support, guidance…
Love.
I used to be able to look
into his visor and see his eyes hidden underneath. Now when I look, I just see
my own reflection staring back at me.
Sun's comin' up down
on Main Street
Children shout as they're running out to play
Head in my hands here I am
Standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away
I thought Scott and I would
be able to survive anything together.
We'd gotten through the Phoenix incident, getting trapped in a timewarp
on our honeymoon, his ogling of Betsy Braddock. Heck, we even managed to keep
our love strong after he married my clone.
So you can see why I
thought we'd get through this, too.
I was hurt when Scott first
came back to the mansion after merging with Apocalypse. He'd been alive all
that time and he hadn't rushed home to me. He'd allowed me to think he was
dead. But I tried to push it all away, tell myself Scott did what was best for
both of us. He'd never do anything to hurt me.
I was wrong.
You said that we were
gonna last forever
You said our love would never die
It looks like spring and It feels like sunny weather
But it's a cold day in July
Our rooms in the mansion
have felt like a tomb these past few weeks, with the corpse that was our
marriage laying out, waiting for someone to take notice of it. I tried to hide
from the harsh reality with a smile, telling everyone who asked that things
were fine—Scott and I were as in love as we'd ever been.
I wasn't just lying to
them. I was lying to myself as well. I thought that if I believed that our
marriage was perfect, it would be. I couldn't admit to myself the problem was
real. I did everything I could to make Scott want me the way he had in the
past, and I told myself it was working.
It wasn't.
Oh sun's comin' up
comin' up
Down on Main Street
Children shout as they're running out to play
Head in my hands
Here I am standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away
Scott ended things last
night. He said he couldn't do it anymore. It was like I didn't hear him at
first. I just talked about something else, my voice fast and cracking. I
wouldn't look at him, wouldn't acknowledge that the impossible had come to
pass.
But Scott hadn't let me ignore
what he'd had to say. He'd already packed his bags. This morning he left for
Alaska, and I don't know when he's coming back—if he's coming back. All he said
when he walked out was "goodbye," and that was enough. Those were the words I
never thought I'd hear him say to me, and when he spoke them I knew. I knew
everything I'd clung to in my life for almost as long as I could remember was
gone. My mother once told me there was "The One" for everyone out there, and
when I met Scott, I believed.
I don't believe anymore.
I just feel cold.
The moon is full and
my arms are empty
All night long how I've pleaded and cried
You always said the day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July
Here comes that cold day in July
