Title: Date Night

Pairing: REALLY BROKEN fiolee

Prompt: None

A/N: Ok, so. This is what happens when I try to write fluff. I take a little plot bunny, chase it around, catch it and then tear it limb from limb like a rabid canine. I swear it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but Marshall and my hands started doing whatever they felt like and also being stupid. I SWEAR I AM A FIOLEE SHIPPER THEY ARE JUST SO TRAGIC IN MY HEAD I CAN'T EVEN! Please read and review, even if you hate it!

~NFE

A/N2: First of all, if you are going to criticize how I write, please at least use some correct grammar. "Mine" and "Mind" are two different words. Second of all, Bill is not a human, I just needed an abstract, boring name for a supposedly boring guy, that's all.
Third of all, Fionna Spent her formative years around a catnip-loving, monochromicorn-dating cat and Marshall Lee, who knows how she might grow up in that situation. Maybe I wasn't clear enough THIS STORY TAKES PLACE IN SOME DISTANT FUTURE WHERE FIONNA IS WHATEVER THE CRAP AGE YOU THINK SHE MIGHT BE.
Fourth (and last), I didn't write this claiming to be canon, and obviously you didn't write it. and also If you are unsatisfied with my version of Fionna Why don't you write your own glob damn stories or offer some actual critiques instead of just bitching about my characters being out of character?

"Oh why don't you just wrap your self in a big red bow and go to his house" Marshall snarled unkindly as the now-grown-up adventurer got ready for her date. Fionna just rolled her eyes.

"You mean like the last girl you had in your bed?" She replied, putting her earrings in. Marshall Lee spluttered indignantly.

"Don't compare yourself to them!" He tried, waving his arms about dramatically.

"Why not? You just did." She said with no anger, simply matter of fact. Having had this argument with her ageless friend countless times made her numb to his barbs.

"Well I'm an idiot" she put her lip gloss on, not sparing him a glance, and popped her lips after rubbing them together smearing the color even.

"Exactly" she turned to him, "an idiot that scares all my boyfriends away. Stop it." She put some hairspray in her golden curls. She's come a long way from the short, immature, naïve little tomboy she used to be. "Honestly, between you and Gumball, it's a wonder ANYBODY dates me" she sighed, "so I'd really appreciate if you'd just stop it. If I'm lucky I might even get laid tonight."

"Fi..." He started and she put her hand up.

"You guys are my FRIENDS not my fathers. And honestly, if you wanted a say in my love life you've both had years to stake a claim." She said making a crude gesture. Marshall would have been proud of her if he wasn't sort of appalled at the thought of his best friend having sex. Fionna and sex were two of those things that don't go together. Ever. Like an oil fire and water. And when they did happen to mix Marshall's brain exploded and he became inexplicably angry.

"If he so much as lays a hand on you I'll-"

"You'll what? Tear him limb from limb? Castrate him and make him eat it? Torture him so violently he won't step out of his house, much less lay his eyes on me ever again?" She interrupted, a bored tone to her voice as she examined the contents of her purse. "I don't know if you've noticed in the past- um- FOREVER, but I'm pretty damn capable of taking care of myself," sparing him a glare, she picked up her retractable sword and examined it thoroughly then put it in her purse. "Any situation I don't want to be in is hardly a situation for long." She finished with a dangerous edge to her voice. Marshall sighed and scrubbed his face with his palms in exasperation.

"Fi you don't understand, sometimes all guys want is sex and they'll use you up and throw you out in the morning like nothing." Fi shot him a look mixed between amusement and disgust and replied to him in a patronizing voice.

"Marshall, I don't need protecting. I know you haven't noticed, but I'm not some weak little princess. Bill doesn't even have any powers. If he tried to take advantage of me, which it wouldn't be advantage because I WANT it, he would find himself quickly without the upper hand."

"Fi, come on, you're just gunna give your virginity away to some ass hat named Bill?" She just stared at him an broke into a rather unsettling laughter.

"Marsh, c'mon, I'm definitely not some dumb slut that shows up at a guys place wearing nothing but ribbons, but I haven't been a virgin for a while." And she continued to laugh. Every piece of his brain that had been left intact after the last explosion went off in little mini explosions and then the pieces left from that exploded again. His little, innocent, naïve best friend was having sex. All of the seismic activity in his head must have transferred to his chest because his heart broke a little at this revelation. Honestly he had no right to police her or who she chose to date and/or sleep with. In fact, Marshall would venture so far as to say that the candid way Fi approached sex was his fault. She had grown up around him and that was the way he approached those things, he shouldn't be surprised. Except that he was, and inexplicably hurt too. It's not that he felt romantically towards the girl. It couldn't be. Just as her best friend he felt he should have been privy to such a major event in the girl's life. 'Yeah, that's it' he thought to himself, justifying the righteous anger that was swelling from the fissure in his heart.

"Fi." He tried again, and she just stared at him, challenge written clearly in her eyes. She was all about challenges. Marshall objecting any further to anything she might do would just push her that much further towards doing it. Instead he pulled out a few condoms. "Take these at least." She blinked at him, not expecting that reaction and if she was honest with herself she was a bit disappointed. She let her hand linger in his as she took the offered prophylactics. This isn't at all what she wanted, but it seemed that the vampire would never see her as any older than 13 and she was sick of waiting, and so she simply had decided not to anymore. Except it wasn't that simple, it was never that simple.

"Thanks" she muttered, her face flushing a pretty pink as a she stowed the small-but-mighty shields in her purse. Marshall offered her a smile and she returned it. She was pretty sure it was more an awkward grimace than a smile, and she was pretty sure Marshall noticed, because his smile faltered a bit. She let out a breath she hadn't even been aware of holding. "Well I better get going!" she skipped out of the tree fort and Marshall watched her leave. If he was honest with himself, he enjoyed watching her leave almost as much as he hated to see her go. But Marshall Lee was rarely honest with anyone, let alone himself, so he just became that much more confused and angry and left it at that.