Just a note: This story, like Advance Wars 2.5, was originally posted on GameFAQs. That's why the HTML tags, which we were too lazy to get rid of, are on this story.

bDISCLAIMER/b: Any views expressed in this story are intended mostly just for comical purposes, so if you're offended, please get a life. You can buy them for cheap at Life Stores, coming soon to your local mall!
Oh yeah, and I don't own any of the characters, and you can't copy this and take credit for it, and this is copyrighted by me. Now that we're done with the formalities, it's time to begin!

iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 1/i

-Black Hole-

Hawke: Well, Sturm is dead, and I'm in control.

Adder: Great job on explaining to everyone exactly when this takes place!

Hawke: What?

Adder: Never mind.

Hawke: Anyway, what should we do now?

Adder: Wait until Nintendo announces an Advance Wars 3, then invade everyone.

Hawke: I mean in the meantime.

Adder: Have all sorts of zany adventures that crack everyone up.

Hawke: Great idea!

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Why do I have to be the one to dress up as Santa Claus?

Grit: Because you're fat and have a white beard.

Olaf: What are you talking about? My beard is brown!

Grit: If someone goes into Color Edit and chooses 5, 6, or 8, your beard is white.

Olaf: Curse those programmers! CURSE THEM!!!

Meanwhile, in Red Sun...

CO #1 (Marl): Mwahahaha! Soon we shall overthrow all of the capitalist pigs and establish our new communist world order!

Lord Seth: So when do we move out? And what do you plan to do about Black Hole?

Marl: YOU're the new CO?

Lord Seth: No, I'm just taking the place of the one because he's running late. And for the record, I don't agree with any of your ideologies, and I hate your guts. The only reason I'm doing this is for comedic effect and because I get paid more for this job.

Marl: Oh.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Does this suit make me look fat?

Grit: It doesn't make you look any fatter than you were before.

Olaf: So it doesn't?

Grit: Of course it does!

Olaf: Drat. Oh well, a job's a job.

In the mall...

Olaf: Ho ho ho! What do you want for Christmas, little girl?

Girl: I want a pony, and a dollhouse, and a country, and a giant robot-

Later...

Girl: -and a copy of Advance Wars 2, and a giant gorilla, and an iceberg, and-

Olaf: Ho ho ho! Don't you know Christmas isn't about greed?

Girl: Then what is it about? Family?

Olaf: No.

Girl: Goodwill towards fellow humans?

Olaf: No.

Girl: What IS the meaning of Christmas, then?

Olaf: I'd tell you, but we'd probably just get sued.

bWill we get sued? Will the communists conquer Wars World? Will Black Hole conquer Wars World? Will ANYONE conquer Wars World? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.75!/b

iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 2/i

Previously, a new country known as Red Sun decided to try a communist takeover of Wars World. You know what that means. Parodies aplenty.

-Red Sun-

Marl: Has that new CO come in already?

Soldier: No. Why do we need one?

Marl: All the other countries have at least THREE Commanding Officers! We need more than one!

Soldier: Oh. Right.

New CO: I'm here!

Marl: Excellent. Let's see...what's your name?

New CO: My name is...Sturm.

Marl: Sturm? What kind of a name is Sturm?

Sturm: A good one, okay? And could you do me a favor and keep your voice down?

Marl: Sorry, I didn't hear you. WHAT DID YOU SAY, STURM?!

Sturm: This joke is so cliché it's not even funny.

Marl: HEY, STURM, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

Sturm: Oh, never mind.

Marl: NEVER MIND WHAT, STURM?!

Sturm: *sigh* This could go on all day.

-Black Hole-

Lash: Hawke! Hawke!

Hawke: I'm in charge, so call me Lord Hawke now!

Lash: Fine, Lord Hawke! Lord Hawke!

Lord Seth: Hey! I'm the only Lord in this story.

Hawke: What are you going to do about it, erase me as a character?

Lord Seth: No, I'm going to do something worse, much worse.

Hawke: Spare me the suspense. What are you going to do?

Lord Seth: Get you a new job.

Hawke: New job? That's all? Meh.

Lord Seth: Your new job is...CLEANING TOILETS!

Hawke: Oh yeah, like THAT's a big deal.

Lord Seth: Uh...the toilet that was...on that one...Invader Zim episode!

Hawke: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Hawke faints.

Lash: Drat. I'll have to wait to give him the news.

Lord Seth: And let that be a lesson to you!

Lash: What's the lesson?

Lord Seth: Uh...I don't really know...but there's got to be something, right?

Lord Seth leaves.

One waking up later...

Hawke: Anyway, what was the news?

Lash: I've discovered that Sturm is really alive and is working for Red Sun!

Hawke: That's nice. Now go away.

Lash: What? Don't you care at all?

Hawke: Not really. Now go away.

Lash: Great. We go from one incompetent leader to another.

Hawke: I heard that! As punishment you will...what's a good punishment?

Lash: Forcing me to work on inventions?

Hawke: I'm not THAT incompetent! I sentence you to be...EATEN BY PIRANHAS!

Some guards drag Lash out.

Hawke: Time to get back to work!

Hawke takes out a Game Boy Advance and starts playing Fire Emblem.

Hawke: Man, this game is HARD! Even though I'm using that super-strong Marcus guy to kill every enemy! I mean, what's with THAT? He's the strongest character, so why am I having so much trouble?

-Green Earth-

Eagle: It's time for Christmas cheer!

Drake: Eagle, it's January.

Eagle: But still!

Drake: How long do you think that we're going to be on this? Because we always only seem to be on for a short-

Meanwhile, in Orange Star...

Andy: I know what a continent is!

Max: Then what's a country?

Andy: Uh...uh...uh...

Max: You don't even know what a country is?!

Andy: Yeah I do! It's...a...thing...that's...smaller...than...a...continent!

Max: *sigh* This is going to be a long day.

bWill this be a long day? Will Hawke ever beat Fire Emblem? Will Marcus ever be appreciated? The answers aren't too hard to figure out, but tune in next time to Advance Wars 2.75!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 3/i

Last time on Advance Wars 2.75, there was war! Famine! Death! Pestilence! And worst of all, the cancellation of The Simpsons!

Everyone: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Oh yeah, there were mass suicides, too. And that brings us to our next point...

TIP OF THE DAY: If you ever join a cult, don't drink the water.

-Yellow Comet-

Kanbei: Feed Sonja to the piranhas!

Sonja: What? What did I ever do to you?!

Kanbei: Hey, everyone's doing it! Hawke fed Lash to the piranhas, you know.

Sonja: But I'm your daughter! Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Kanbei: Not really. But I guess I won't feed you to the piranhas after all.

Sonja: Phew!

Kanbei: Yeah, that's too unoriginal. I'm going to feed you to the sharks instead!

Some guards drag Sonja out.

Sonja: Oh, why does this ALWAYS happen to me?

Guard: Don't worry. The sharks were just fed, and you're not bleeding, so you'll probably drown before they eat you.

Sonja: Oh yeah, that's a BIG consolation.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Colin! I've decided to feed you to the whales!

Colin: But whales don't eat people! Well, Killer Whales might, but...

Olaf: Oh yeah. Good point. Forget the whole thing.

-Green Earth-

Eagle: I need to feed someone to the piranhas! Preferably a young CO!

Drake: We don't have any young COs!

Eagle: Fine. Let's do you then, Drake.

Drake: Why me?

Eagle: Because I don't like you.

Drake: I thought it was Jess you didn't like.

Eagle: Who?

Drake: Jess!

Eagle: Never heard of him.

Drake: Jess is a she!

Eagle: Whatever, anyway, you're going to be fed to the piranhas! Right now!

Drake is thrown into the piranha tank, but the piranhas don't attack him.

Eagle: Oh! Because Drake likes the water so much, the piranhas must be leaving him alone! It's totally cheesy, but it works. I think I'll throw this person to the piranhas instead.

Eagle leaves.

Drake: Uh, Eagle? I could use a little help here. The piranhas are leaving me alone, but this tank is too big to climb out of. And I can't tread water forever. Eagle? Eagle? EAGLE?!

-Red Sun-

Marl: Everyone else is killing their young COs, so it's about time we did, also!

Sturm: We don't have any young COs!

Marl: Then let's get some!

Sturm: Fine, fine.

Sturm goes in front of the army.

Sturm: Calling all young soldiers! You can be COs if you want!

Soldier: What's the catch?

Sturm: You'll be fed to the piranhas!

Soldier: I'll do it!

Sturm: What's your name?

Soldier: Uh...Matt.

Sturm: Good enough for me!

A few days later...

Sturm: I can't believe you came out alive after being in the tank with all those piranhas.

Matt (covered in wounds, bandages, and blood): Who says I'm alive?

Sturm: This heart-monitor does.

Matt: Can we just invade someplace already?

Sturm: Yes! We must spread our beautiful communist ideology throughout the world!

Matt: As long as I get paid, I don't care.

bWill Matt ever care? Will anyone invade anyone? Is being fed to the piranhas painful? Why am I asking YOU these questions? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.75!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 4/i

Now with 10% more political incorrectness!

-Red Sun-

Marl: It's time to invade! Our first target: Black Hole.

Sturm: Why Black Hole?

Marl: I don't like the color black.

-Black Hole-

Hawke: Argh! I can't beat this stupid Fire Emblem game! Even though I'm using my strongest characters, like Marcus, and not using the weaker ones, like Nino and Rebecca, I just can't beat the game! This must be the most frustrating game ever!

(NOTE: Hawke's statement is an in-joke...anyone who visits the Fire Emblem board on GameFAQs should get it)

Adder: Hawke!

Hawke: I said to call me Lord Hawke!

Lord Seth: And I said to not call you that!

Hawke: Too bad! YOU're just an omnipotent and omniscient being with unlimited power! I'm the leader of Black Hole!

Lord Seth: Argh! Someone's always cooler than me! Why? Why? WHY?

Adder: Because! Because! BECAUSE!

Lord Seth: Grrr. I'm leaving.

Lord Seth leaves.

Adder: Anyway, as I was saying, it seems that Red Sun is planning on attacking us!

Hawke: That's nice. Now get out of here.

Adder: *grumble* Stupid, incompetent, leader.

Hawke: I heard that!

Adder: Uh...

Hawke: I know you're racist!

Adder: I never said that! I said you were incompetent!

Hawke: Oh, really? Oh well. In that case...FEED HIM TO THE PIRANHAS!

Adder: Why piranhas? Why not something else, like a dolphin?

Hawke: Great idea! Feed him to the dolphins!

Adder: (yes! Dolphins won't kill me!)

Hawke: ...the specially bred Killer Dolphins, that is!

Adder: I hate my life.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Grit! It's time to clean the mess halls!

Grit: Isn't that Colin's job?

Olaf: Yep. Be sure to get him for me, will you?

Grit: It's a good thing you didn't feed him to the piranhas after all.

Olaf: I know. Too bad he fed himself to them.

Grit: WHAT?!

Olaf: He didn't want to clean any more mess halls, so he fed himself to the piranhas.

Colin: They weren't very hungry, though, so I managed to survive by my skin and their teeth. So are you still going to force me to clean the mess halls after all that?

Olaf: Yep.

Colin: *moan* Why can't you get some other people to help me out?

Olaf: Because that would cost money, and we're already in debt. See? Look at all these numbers in red...and black...and blue...anyway, hop to it, Colin!

Colin: I hate my job.

-Red Sun-

Sturm: The invasion force is ready!

Marl: Finally, there'll be some ACTION in this story. Now we shall spread equality throughout the world and create a worldwide utopia?

Sturm: Uh, Marl? In the long history of Communism, it's been demonstrated that, while it's a nice idea and all, it's sadly impossible to pull it off. It just ends up making a totalitarian state in which everyone is oppressed. (pause) So what are we waiting for?

Marl: Nothing. INVADE!!!

So the Red Sun army invades Black Hole and conquers it.

Marl: Okay Sturm, you can rule this. Just be sure everyone is treated exactly the same...except for anyone who disagrees with us. Just kill them.

Sturm: Hey, as long as I get to kill people, I'm happy! And I know just who to kill first...bring me Hawke!

Hawke is dragged in.

Hawke: Uh, sorry about killing you before! See, it was all a misunderstanding...

Sturm: SILENCE!!! Wait, it was a misunderstanding?

Hawke: Yep.

Sturm: Oh. You can go then...

Hawke: (man, that sucker will fall for anything)

Sturm: ...after we feed you to the piranhas.

bWill Sturm fall for anything? Will more people be fed to the piranhas? Will a TV show I've been working on ever be brought out? What's the point of all of these questions? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.75!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 5/i

Previously, a lot of piranhas got some food. That's all I'll say.

-Orange Star-

Andy: Hey! I've barely shown up in this story at all!

Nell: Good point. Guards, feed him to the piranhas!

Andy: WHAT?!

Nell: Hey, you're our youngest CO! Of course you have to be fed to the piranhas!

Andy: I hate my life.

Lord Seth: That seems to be a fairly common problem. I think I'll call it "I-Hate-My-Life Syndrome"! Maybe they'll finally give me back my medical license if I make it public!

Lord Seth leaves.

Nell: Mwahaha! With Andy out of the way, there will be no one to stop my plans, except for Max, Sami, and Hachi. But who cares about them?

Meanwhile...

Max: I've just figured out that Nell is planning really evil things!

Hachi: Will it make me lose money?

Max: It'll make you lose your life!

Hachi: But not my money?

Max: No.

Hachi: Not my problem.

-Black Hole-

Marl: Send in Flak!

Sturm: Wasn't he killed before?

Marl: I don't know. But send him in anyway.

Flak comes in.

Flak: Is this the bathroom?

Sturm: No.

Flak: Uh-oh. I gotta go bad!

Sturm: Too bad! Anyway, we need to ask you a simple question.

Flak: What?

Sturm: What do you think of communism?

Flak: It's evil! Capitalism rules all!

Marl: HOW DARE HE SPEAK SUCH BLASPHEMY?!

Flak: Blasphemy?! Communists don't even believe in a God!

Marl: We worship a nonexistent God! And you have committed blasphemy against him!

Flak: That didn't even make sense!

Marl: Good point. Anyway, FEED HIM TO THE PIRANHAS! And, uh why are your trousers all wet?

Flak: Because of the first time you fed me to the piranhas! They haven't dried yet!

Marl: Very well. Take him out.

Flak is dragged out.

Matt: Hmmm. Is it just me, or is Lord Seth getting a LITTLE out of bounds with the jokes lately?

Marl: He dares joke?! KILL HIM!

Matt: Uh, lots of people have tried that before. It doesn't work. The guy's invincible or something.

Marl: Curse him!!!

A pause.

Marl: No, seriously. Curse him. Get a voodoo priest or something to put a curse on him.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Well, it's time for the yearly inspection of the army.

Grit: Good! Now we can finally fix anything wrong with this army.

Olaf walks through the army.

Olaf: What is this, soldier?

Soldier: Several faulty tanks. Odds are, if they were used, they'd backfire and destroy our entire army.

Olaf: No problems here. Grit, let's go.

Grit: Shouldn't you at least LOOK at the air division?

Olaf: Who cares about them?

Grit: *sigh*

Grit looks over at the air division and sees all of the planes are exact duplicates of the Wright Brothers' first plane.

Grit: Oh well. It's not like we're going to be invaded, right?

-Red Sun-

Marl: Now that we have created a glorious communist regime-

Matt: That has everyone oppressed and hating us.

Marl: -we shall turn our attention to another country.

Matt: And set up another regime that is anything but a utopia?

Marl: Careful. Big Sister is watching you.

Matt: Oh no! Sis!

Stephanie: Matt! What did I tell you about becoming a CO in a Communist army?

Matt: *sigh* Not before I finish college.

Stephanie: Sorry Marl, but I have to take him away.

Marl: No way! We need a third CO!

Stephanie: What are you going to do, send me to the gulag?

Marl: Yep.

Stephanie: Drat.

Some guards drag Stephanie away.

Matt: Did you really have to do that? I mean, my own sister, sent to the gulag?

Marl: Yep.

Matt: Darn! I wanted her killed!

Marl: You can't have everything, you know.

bCan anyone have anything? How will our new character fare in the gulag? Whatever you do, don't tune in next time to Advance Wars 2.75!/b

Lord Seth: I hate you.


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 6/i

NOTE: A reminder to remember that everything in this story is done as a joke. Nothing in this story is meant to be serious. Not even this note.

Previously, another politically incorrect story occurred. Right now, a politically incorrect recap is going on. And the next part of our politically incorrect story is about to start.

Lord Seth: How is that recap politically incorrect?

Uh...teh QQQ rulez!!!

Lord Seth: What's the QQQ?

A group that hates white male protestants. And is supportive of all gay jewish black men.

[NOTE: The line And is supportive of all gay jewish black men was removed when this story was posted on GameFAQs]

Lord Seth: That's it. I'm getting a new narrator.

Hey, you asked for political incorrectness!

Lord Seth: But not to that extreme! What do you want, us to get moderated?

Oh come on. What do you think-

[The remainder of this recap was deleted by a GameFAQs Moderator]

-Red Sun-

Stephanie: Oh...stupid gulag. I don't like it already.

Sonja: Hey, it's better than being stuck in a battleship for a year!

Stephanie: How'd YOU get here?

Sonja: You know, that's quite a story. You see, it all started when-

Guard: No talking! Back to work!

Sonja: What are we working on anyway?

Guard: Who cares as long as you're straining your muscles?

-Blue Moon-

Grit: Horrible news, Olaf! The Red Sun army is attacking us!

A pause.

Olaf: So?

Grit: What, do you WANT us living under a communist government?

A pause.

Olaf: No.

Grit: THEN WHY DON'T WE STOP THEM?!

Olaf: Because we're too lazy. And because Colin glued everyone to their chairs.

So Red Sun conquers Blue Moon.

Sturm: Yes! We are now in command! We are...uh, what now?

Marl: We start another Communist regime, this time in Blue Moon?

Sturm: I knew that.

Marl: Now we need to start a secret police group! Matt, you can be the head.

Matt: So, uh, what do the secret police do?

Marl: Nothing. They're secret.

-Red Sun-

Sonja: Ow...I can't feel my hands...or my legs...or my feet...or my neck...

Lord Seth: Hey, cheer up. At least it's not as bad as Aust...no, Auch...no, Aucht...no, that's not you pronounce it...anyway, it's not as bad as that thingy, however you pronounce it.

Sonja: Easy for you to say. You don't have to work here.

Lord Seth: Hey, that's not true! I work here! I just happen to do really easy jobs and get paid a lot for them. (pause) And I can leave whenever I want. But other than that, my position here is the same as yours!

Sonja: I hate you so much.

Lord Seth: I know.

-Blue Moon-

Marl: Bring in...I don't know, some CO.

Colin is brought in.

Colin: You'll never get anything out of me! I won't tell you anything other than my name, rank, and cereal number! My name's Colin, my rank is a CO, and my cereal number is...well, it's not a number, but how about Cocoa Puffs?

Marl: *sigh* This is going to be a long meeting.

Much later...

Marl: Feeding that kid to the piranhas has got to be one of the smartest things I ever did.

Matt: Hey, Marl, there's something I don't get.

Marl: What?

Matt: Communism says there will be a worldwide revolution. So why are we invading countries?

Marl: If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself!

Matt: Ah. I understand.

A pause.

Marl: HE KNOWS TOO MUCH! FEED HIM TO THE PIRANHAS!!!

bGee, what's with all the piranhas? Will Matt survive being fed to the piranhas? Will Will ever show up in this story? Who's Will anyway? You definitely won't find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.75!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 7/i

Previously, a lot of random stuff occurred.

-Blue Moon-

Matt: So I get to be leader of Blue Moon?

Marl: Yep.

Matt: Hmmm. I wonder how my sister is doing. Hopefully not too well.

Meanwhile, in the Red Sun gulag...

Sonja: So are we both clear on the plan?

Stephanie: Wait until the guards change then one of us will escape through the tunnel we dug while the other causes a distraction. Then, the next day, we'll do the same thing, only the other one causes the distraction and the other one escapes. Thus, we'll both have escaped.

Sonja: It's foolproof!

-Green Earth-

Eagle: With Red Sun on the march, it's important we get our army into good shape. And I don't want any puns, okay?

Drake: All right. I'll get the Battleships, Submarines, Landers, and Cruisers ready.

Jess: I'll get the Missiles, Rockets, Tanks, Md. Tanks, Neotanks, Artillery, Recons, Anti-Airs, and the rest of the ground forces ready.

Eagle: I'll get all of the air units ready.

Jess: Who's getting the Infantry and Mechs ready?

Eagle: Oh, who cares? It's not like we really need them.

-Yellow Comet-

Sensei: ...RED SUN IS GOING TO ATTACK!!!

Kanbei: ...READY THE DEFENSES!!!

Sensei: ...AND THE OFFENSES!!!

Kanbei: ...ALL RIGHT!!! WE CAN STOP SHOUTING!!!

Sensei: ...About time.

Kanbei: And we can stop that, too!

Sensei: ...Stop what?

Kanbei: That "..." thing!

Sensei: ...really?

Kanbei: YES!

Soldier: Kanbei, a Green Earth CO is here to see you.

Kanbei: AAAAAHHHH!!!!! It must be an invasion! KILL THEM IMMEDIATELY!!!

Sensei: I'm not sure that's a great idea. See, if it's not an invasion, we'd just cause an invasion, and if it is an invasion, we wouldn't gain much. So therefore-

Kanbei: Kanbei has spoken! Kill the CO!!!

Later...

Jess: Phew! Good thing we just sent a robot to Yellow Comet instead of a real CO!

Eagle: What? Didn't we send the real Drake and this is the robot?

Jess: What, can't you tell the difference between a person and a robot?

Eagle: You're a robot, Jess!

Jess (the real Jess, there is no robot Jess): Guess that answers my question.

-Orange Star-

Max: It's all ready. It's time to liberate Black Hole and Blue Moon from Red Sun!

Sami: Why liberate Black Hole?! They're our enemies!

Max: Because we have nothing better to do.

Sami: Whatever. Just invade them already.

bDue to reasons relating to laziness, the liberation of Black Hole and Blue Moon from Communist control will occur between this episode and the next episode. If you don't like that, sue me. No, wait, don't sue me. Sue someone else. Anyway, we're out of time, so no weird questions this time, okay? Oh great, I just did a question. What's next, yet another one of those cutting off jokes? They'd better not/b


iAdvance Wars 2.75, Part 8/i

Lord Seth: Welcome to the ending of Season 1! And, of course, it's not going to have some big conclusion at all! Anyway...

-Red Sun-

Marl: This is bad. Our army has been thrown out of both Blue Moon and Black Hole! Grrr, and we were SO close to creating a perfect society, too!

Matt: Weren't we just killing people like crazy?

Sturm: I thought that WAS a perfect society.

-Green Earth-

Eagle: Look!

Drake: What?

Eagle: Using my Nature-Growing Formula I stole from Lash, we've actually made all of Green Earth...green!

Jess: Eagle, it's not green. And it's not even a formula. You just had everyone put on green goggles so it LOOKED green.

Eagle: It's the same thing, it just saves money!

Drake: SAVES MONEY!? Do you know how much money all those goggles took to make?

Eagle: How much?

Drake: $10.

Eagle: That's not that much.

Drake: At the current rate of exchange, that amounts to about...99,999,999,999,999 Wars World credits!

Eagle: So? That's not as much as 1 x 10^100!

Drake: That's not the point!

Eagle: But still, who really cares? I mean, it's not like we cut back 99.9% of the army funding, right?

Drake: Nope, we didn't. We cut back 99.5%.

Eagle: See? No problem!

-Red Sun-

Sturm: Well, we were kicked out of Blue Moon and Black Hole. There's only one thing to do...

Matt: What?

Sturm: USE THE SECRET WEAPON OF LAST RESORT!

Matt: What's the secret weapon of last resort?

Sturm: It's a...CHEESE MACHINE!

Matt: ...

Marl: ...

Sturm: What?

Marl: How will a cheese machine help us out?

Sturm: I have absolutely no idea, but it has to have some use, right?

-Yellow Comet-

Sensei: I'm bored.

Kanbei: Stop saying that.

Sensei: I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored...

Much later...

Sensei: I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm BORED!

Kanbei: Then get a job.

Sensei: I do have a job!

Kanbei: A REAL job, I mean.

Sensei: Hmmm. That isn't a bad idea.

-Orange Star-

Nell: Mwahaha! It's time to put my evil plans into motion! All I have to do is press this one button, and I'll blow up the planet! (pause) Wait a minute, that'll kill me, too! I'll have to program it so that it blows up the planet and everything on it except for me.

Meanwhile...

Hachi: Finally those communuts are gone! Now I'm free once again to exploit workers! Suppress the needs of the proletariat! And profit from other people's misery!

Andy: Anyone who met Hachi probably would suddenly become more of a supporter of Communism...

Hachi: Hey! I worked hard to get where I am now!

Andy: No you didn't! You just won the lottery and used the money to hire OTHER people to make a business, then fired them and took control. That's not work!

Hachi: It is in my book.

Hachi pulls out a book called "Hachi's Dictionary".

Hachi: See? For the definition of 'work', it says-

Andy: Never mind. Forget it.

Meanwhile...

Max: I don't know how I was talked into this wrestling business.

Sami: It had something to do with lots of money and a giant robot bee...

Max: So who's my opponent?

Sami: Flak.

Max: FLAK?!

Sami: Yep. Flak.

Later, when the match starts...

Flak: You're going down, Max!

Flak tries to attack Max, but thinks that someone in the audience is Max, so he lunges out of the ring and attacks the audience member, losing the match.

Max: Oh yeah! All I have to do is win through a few more technicalities, and I'll be the champion!

Lord Seth: (How did I get myself into this announcer business?) And Max, your next opponent is...Sensei!

Max: SENSEI?! He's just an old guy. I couldn't fight him.

Sensei gets Max into a headlock and throws miles away.

Sensei: Did I win?

Lord Seth: Yes.

Sensei: Woohoo!

bWhat, you think we were going to end with a suspenseful ending? Get real! This is the ending of Season 1, we're not supposed to! Wait a minute, shouldn't we? I mean, after all, that would get people to watch Season 2. Hmmm. Better get to a suspenseful ending./b

-Red Sun-

Marl: I've thought of the perfect use for the cheese machine! It'll let us conquer the world?

Sturm: What is it?

Marl: Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until Season 2 to find out.