This is the Secret Santa project and this present is for Sn0wyAng3l on Deviantart. I had posted it on that website on Christmas Eve and only just got around to posting it here so...enjoy and Merry Christmas! :D
Santa Gabe
Christmas. It's a time of great joy for many people, but for Doctor Gabriel Cunningham it means almost nothing. The only good things about it are the amazing sales in the mall's stores. The let down, though, is that no shop allows him to smoke, which can turn his mood sour at times.
This is what he is doing now, strolling through Best Buy and wishing he had a cigarette as he looks for a new remote control. The place is packed and people keep bumping into him as they rush past, mumbling pathetic apologies while they graze by. The store's clamor is a mere hum to Gabe as he tries focusing on the different types of remotes so that he can get out faster and have a cigarette.
Running a hand through his mass of tangled green hair, his heart drops a bit when he remembers how addicted he is to the drug; however, his thoughts are yanked away when an enormous man practically plows him over.
Gabe stumbles backwards a bit but quickly regains his balance. "Hey, watch where you're walking!" He snaps, his patience having been snapped by the rudeness of some people (even though he's not one to talk). He finally looks at the person who ran into him and immediately wishes he could take those words back. The colossal man before him is at least two heads taller and three times wider than Gabe. His arms are as large as tree trunks that are connected to his freakishly broad shoulders. His dark brown hair is patchy and his eyes so dark that they look like floating coals as he glares at Gabe.
"You watch it. Don't I know you from somewhere?" He grumbles with narrowed eyes, his baritone voice rumbling and his tone questioning.
Feeling a bit brought down by his intimidating size (and the ripped t-shirt that says "I Eat Mean People") Gabe replies in a more polite manner as he slowly starts backing away, "Sorry, I don't think so."
"No, I definitely know you!" The burly man protests, his face scrunched up as he concentrates, making part of his dagger tattoo poke out from underneath his shirt. Gabe crosses his arms as he watches the man think with his probably pathetically small brain. Gabe is usually pretty good at remembering faces but this one brings up no memories though the man seems keen on remembering him. Thoughtful, he mumbles, "I wouldn't forget that green hair anywhere…. You're…Gabe Catfish!"
"Cunningham," the doctor corrects dryly and is still unfamiliar with the person before him. "Listen, dude, I don't know you. Where could we have possibly met before?" Gabe grumbles, getting increasingly bored now that he has calmed down.
"In high school!" The man suddenly shouts with a smile as wide as his over sized face, and a small sparkle lights up in his black eyes. "I'm Travis Dense!"
"Travis D-Dense…?" Gabe gasps to himself, his ochre eyes widening at the name. Standing before him is the old high school bully who had been thrown into jail for beating a teacher…twice. If you were on his good side then you were protected from about everybody. Unfortunately, Gabe had been on his worst side possible. After Travis went to jail for the second time, Gabe had convinced his girlfriend to dump the bully and go out with him instead. Naturally, it didn't last long and he can't even remember her name. Maybe Travis forgot too?
"Yeah, it's me! How have you been?" Travis exclaims with newfound joy. It doesn't last long though because, as quick as his mood changed, it snaps again and his smile dips to a frown. "Oh wait…" He says, his voice trailing off and his frown changing quickly into a snarl. "You were the guy that stole Daisy away from me, weren't you?"
"Pfft, Daisy?" Gabe chuckles nervously, a crooked smile plastered onto his face and his voice rising a bit in pitch. "I never heard of her, you must have the wrong guy."
"No…no," Travis insists, his grumbling voice getting much more threatening with each syllable he speaks. "I remember now…. It was YOU who took her away from me! Yeah, yeah…it was you! We were so happy together and you took her away! YOU BASTARD!"
He bellows out the last part and, with a furious grunt, grabs the closest T.V. and chucks it at Gabe. The doctor yelps and dives out of the way, only to be met with a punch to his stomach while the appliance smashes to pieces behind him and people scream in alarm.
Stumbling backwards, Gabe quickly grabs a shelf of DVDs and throws it onto the floor, cases flying everywhere and delaying the enraged man by a mere second. With his long legs carrying him, Gabe instantly rushes past astonished people and into the mall's hallway in seconds; Travis' threats ringing in his ears while he sprints away.
Rushing past an Abercrombie and then a Game Stop, Gabe looks over his shoulder to see the massive man charging after him.
"Come back here, you jack – "
"I just loooooove Christmas," Gabe grumbles to himself as he squirms past a kissing couple and races down the escalator, almost tripping over his feet and the moving steps as he does so.
Glancing over his shoulder when he reaches the bottom, he sees that Travis has only just gotten to the top and is now being delayed by a group of teenage girls clogging up the escalator. Gabe doesn't stay any longer to see what else happens and, instead, sprints down the brightly lit hallway until he reaches the "plaza", a place where all the popular events happen. Today it just so happens to be the day where little kids sit on Santa's lap and tells a fake - usually perverted - Santa Claus what they want.
It's an enormous display this year, a little too much according to Gabe. There is a platform as wide as the plaza itself (which is known to be able to fit over three dozen school buses) that is covered in tinsel, white fluff (fake snow), and adults dressed as elves. A long line of children and their parents zigzag across the platform with everybody gazing towards the empty, elaborate golden throne, as if staring at it long enough will make Santa appear.
As Gabe sprints past the platform, struggling to go around the small gap between it and the wall, he hears a woman loudly complain, "Where is this stupid Santa? He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago!"
Heart pounding, Gabe looks over his shoulder again to see Travis just entering the plaza. The huge man's eyes are fixed on the display but soon move off to the sides, searching for his victim.
"Crap!" Gabe mutters to himself. "He'll find me in seconds…I need a disguise or something!"
His best option is to run into a store and hide in one of the dressing rooms but then, as he passes behind the empty golden throne, he sees a plastic bag full of a Santa costume.
Should he…?
"I'm going to find you, Gabe Catfish!" Travis' yell comes from across the room, causing everybody around him to give him incredulous stares.
With a frown, he makes a snap decision and scoops up the bag. Rummaging through it, he finds a bright red hat and pulls it over his puffy green hair. Some tufts still stick out but it will do for now. Frantic, he throws on an overly large red velvet coat with white fuzzy trim and matching pants. Kicking off his shoes, he pulls on black leather boots that goes up to his knees and clips a huge black belt around his waist. After he pulls on the ivory gloves, he attaches the fake white beard, scrunching his nose as the smell of body odor emits from the clothing.
Just then, Travis emerges from a throng of people passing by the Santa platform and stops only a few meters away from him. His black eyes scan the area like a hawk and, to be safe, Gabe hops onto the platform and slips into the golden throne, unwittingly entering into a problem bigger than he imagined.
Screaming children.
"It's Santa!" a little girl dressed in all pink exclaims right in front of him, which is followed by a chorus of joyful kids.
"Look, Mommy! Santa's here!"
"I want to go up to Santa first!"
"OH MY GOD, IT'S FREAKIN' SANTA CLAUS!"
Gabe blinks in surprise, his body shrinking into the chair as he stares in horror at the bustling kids and the annoyed parents. From beside him, a tall "elf" with short black hair and a hooked nose asks bitterly in a hiss, "Where have you been?"
Turning his head to face the young woman, Gabe whispers, "Look, I'm not really-"
"Santa!" The pink girl yells again and climbs on top of Gabe's long legs. With a wide smile and gleaming brown eyes, she plops down in his lap and stares with wonder up at him.
"Err…hi." Gabe replies simply, looking down at the girl with not nearly enough interest as she is giving him.
"Well?" She says in a bit of a bossy tone.
"What?"
"Say it!" She suddenly whines, banging her fists against his leg and shaking her head, her short chocolate colored hair swishing with the movements.
"Merry Christmas?" Gabe offers weakly, grimacing as she pouts.
"You have to introduce yourself and ask what she wants!" The elf beside him hisses into his ear and Gabe then notices all the eyes gazing at him expectedly.
"What do I say?" He asks quietly, earning himself a piercing gaze from the elf.
"Didn't you read the manual?" She growls and Gabe raises an eyebrow at her.
"There' a manual for this?"
"Santa!" The girl whines again, tugging on his white beard and making Gabe's head jerk up and down.
"Okay, okay!" He snaps, pulling her hand away. With a calming breath, he puts on his best forced smile and says in a deep voice laced with sarcasm, "Hello little girl, I am Santa Claus. Ho, ho, ho and…ho. What do you want for Christmas?"
The girl straightens up and beams, oblivious to his snide tone and answers with glee, "I'm Olivia and I want a pony with pink hair and a purple saddle! Then I want the Disney sing along game, and the doll from that movie Tangled…and a Barbie of course! I also want the Baking Mama game and pink fluffy pens…and cookies! Lots and lots of cookies! And a cat to go with my pony and –"
"Okay, that's great, kid," Gabe cuts her off in a grumble, hoisting her off his leg and plopping her on the ground as if she were a cat that just pooped on him. With a pathetic attempt at a smile, he pats her head and says, "Why don't you write that down and send it to the North Pole and I'll…send it to you later, okay?"
Olivia nods eagerly and smiles as a young male elf takes her hand and leads her away from him.
Relieved, Gabe stands up only to be shoved back down again by the woman elf.
"There are still a lot more kids to do, so stay!" She hisses as a mother and a little boy make their way towards him.
"You are a little too serious about this, you know that?" Gabe mumbles at her and she glares in return.
"Hello!" The mother greets them eagerly, her curly blond hair matching her son's; however, her face is ecstatic while he looks nervous and glum. Turning to her son, she instructs merrily, "Now go up to Santa and tell him what you want, sweetie. Come on, let's go."
The boy reluctantly walks towards Gabe, his eyes staring at his feet as he stands next to the doctor, still not looking up.
"Come on, sweetie, get onto Santa's lap!" She orders in the same happy tone while whipping out a camera.
One of the elves rushes over and picks up the little boy, planting him on Gabe's leg before rushing away again.
"Okay, smile!" The woman instructs but the boy still won't look at her and neither will Gabe. His eyes are gazing over the crowd of people lining the walls, looking for Travis, but the woman takes about two-dozen pictures nevertheless and is proud of every single one.
"How cute! Now, sweetie, tell Santa what you want!"
Gabe looks down at the boy who still won't show his face. Feeling a bit bored, Gabe sends him a small smile and urges, "Come on, little boy, what do you want Santa – I mean me – to get you for Christmas?"
No response.
"Ho, ho, ho!" Gabe tires again, failing to leave out his snide tone. "I am jolly old Saint Nick and I break into your house and leave presents underneath your tree while stealing all your cookies and milk. What do you want me to leave you when I burst into your home down a chimney?"
Nothing.
Gabe opens his mouth to try one more time when he suddenly hears a familiar sound coming from the child.
A fart.
The boy instantly looks up at him with horrified blue eyes, his face blanched and his body shuddering at what he has just done.
Gabe's mouth falls open and simply stares at the little boy with the same amount of shock. They stay that way for approximately twelve seconds before the scent wafts up to his nose and his face scrunches up into a look of disgust.
"Holy shit!" he gawks to himself. "Did you just FART in my LAP?"
The boy nods slowly, utterly horrified.
Picking him up and holding him as for away as possible as if he were toxic, Gabe quickly puts him on the ground and recoils into his throne. The boy rushes over to his mother, who looks terribly confused, and he confesses instantly with a wail, "I farted in Santa's lap!"
Two elves come rushing over and begin dragging the small family away while the woman elf beside Gabe snickers.
"You enjoyed that." The doctor states dryly. Her only response is a tiny smirk.
"Jerk," he grumbles as a cheerful boy comes rushing up to him.
He isn't sure how long he stays there, pretending to be Santa Claus as he sweats underneath all the layers of clothing he is wearing. Several times he tries to leave but the woman elf keeps him stuck there and he's forced to act super jolly and listen to stupid things kids want.
One young girl says how she really, REALLY wants a video game called Trauma Team where you can be a surgeon, a paramedic, an orthopedist, an endoscopic surgeon, a diagnostician, and a forensic scientist. Despite Gabe's efforts to be merry, he can't help but scoff at this.
"You can't make a game about doctors!" He argues hotly. "That can't be realistic in the least, especially diagnostics. Being a doctor in that field is too complex to be put into a good game. Pick something else."
That didn't go well with the little girl, who started throwing out facts about Wermer's Syndrome and some guy who got killed with a screwdriver. Gabe had to promise her a million times that he'd get her the game before she left without protest.
Hours must have passed and every once in a while he would see Travis lurking about in the crowd. Somehow, the brute must have a hunch his victim is hiding in this room.
After having a quick talk with a freckled face boy, Gabe hears a familiar girl's voice say from behind him, "Look, Naomi! It's Santa!"
Glancing over his shoulder, the doctor sees a small girl with a head band in her glossy russet hair and emerald eyes that shine as she stares at him. She tugs on the hand of a bored faced woman with silver hair. Gabe instantly recognizes the two.
He turns his burning red face away but it's too late.
"Gabe?" Naomi's astonished voice asks from behind him. He sinks further into his chair
"Huh? Gabe's here?" Another voice questions and, to his utter horror, the diagnostician recognizes it to be Maria.
"Did somebody say Gabe!" A familiar deep, rumbling voice cuts in and the doctor's throat tightens up. Travis.
Shit.
There is a moment of silence as Gabe sinks further into his chair, his palms sweaty and heart pounding. About ten seconds later, Alyssa appears in front of him, her curious face transforming into a grin. Right behind her is the usually emotionless Naomi but has a look of shock on her pale face. Beside her is an eager Maria and a confused Tomoe. Everybody stares at him in complete awe, their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide. The shock and awkwardness of the situation is so intense it's almost palpable and weighs heavily on Gabe's shoulders.
"Ho, ho, ho!" He suddenly bursts out with a forced grin, "Kids only! Merry Christmas…kids only…so leave!"
"What the hell are you doing?" Maria asks with her usual bitterness as she puts her hand on her hips.
"Helping out is a very honorable act to do," Tomoe adds in but her tone is hesitant and her purple eyes are wide.
Gabe doesn't get a chance to answer. An enormous man pops up from behind him and moves until he's only a foot away from Gabe's face; Travis' disgusting hot breath wafting up his nose and making his stomach lurch.
Gabe opens his mouth but his enemy leaves him speechless when he snatches the hat off of his head, his dark green hair spewing everywhere instantly. Eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring like a bull, he bellows, "You can't hide from me!"
"Hey!" a little boy cries from behind them, his large green eyes furious as they stare at Gabe's head. "That isn't Santa, that's a phony! GET HIM!"
With a high pitched battle cry, the child starts sprinting over along with tons of screaming kids following him. They come out of the line, breaking away from their parents like hornets attacking an innocent person who accidentally stumbled onto their nest.
"Shiiiiiit!" Gabe yells as he bolts off the throne and jumps off the platform. He hears Travis' heavy footfalls from behind him as he starts sprinting through a large crowd of bewildered people. He shoves a particularly plump man out of the way as he scrambles for the exit of the plaza, the screams of children ringing in his ears and sweat from his costume drenching his clothes underneath.
"Hey! Watch it!" The plump man yells but Gabe ignores him completely. The doctor manages to break through the throng and into one of the long hallways lined with shops. At the end of it is a Macy's and past that is the garage where his car should be parked.
"How dare you steal my girlfriend!" Travis accosts hotly.
"Where's the real Santa?" A child demands with a chorus of the same question being repeated following him like a wave.
"Max!" A mother calls out in a futile attempt to get her child to stop running.
"You knocked me over!" The plump man exclaims, still shocked from the action.
"You stole my Santa costume!" A new voice yells, probably the original man playing Santa in the display.
"Alyssa! Come back here!" Naomi yells desperately.
"Why are we running?" Her adoptive daughter asks with excitement in her tone. It's probably the first time she's ever been in a huge mob of angry people before. What a thrilling experience.
"Forming an angry mob is not the path of honor!" Tomoe states breathlessly.
"I LOVE CHASING GABE!" Maria's joyful cheer drones out everybody else and Gabe cringes.
Panting, the doctor forces his legs to move faster and he avoids the temptation to glance over his shoulder. There is no doubt in his mind that he has a furious mob chasing after him and, from his experience, he knows that getting caught is the worst thing possible. He has to make it to his car…no distractions!
The sight of Macy's entrance shoots energy into him and he starts running faster. He's sure he can lose them in Macy's, that's how he has done it in the past. Once there he's pretty much home free.
But, right as his long legs are crossing into the store, he collides into a small boy with enormous green hair just like his. They collapse to the ground, somehow bringing a display table down with them and causing clothes to fly everywhere.
Under a pile of colorful blouses, Gabe pushes one away from his face as he struggles to get up but stops dead when he recognizes the face in front of him.
"D-doctor?" The young boy gasps; his eyes wide and a small smile quickly forms on his face. "It's great to see you again! Sorry about running into you."
Gabe gulps and manages to mutter, "Hello, Joshua" before the young boy notices the huge mob of angry people running straight towards them.
Joshua can't even ask before Gabe grabs his hand, lifts him up, screams "RUN!" and starts sprinting into the store. At that exact moment, Travis' meaty hand reaches out to grab him but only gets thin air.
"GET HIM!" He bellows and a chorus of enraged children and adults echoes off the walls as the father and son weave between racks of clothing and shoppers.
"What's happening!" Joshua asks, yelling over the noise.
"It's a long story," Gabe responds quickly. Rapidly squeezing between two large people, the pair are now only meters away from the entrance to the garage when a familiar woman steps right in front of them.
"Gabe?" She gasps.
"Lisa!" He answers in the same amount of amazement.
"You know Mom?" Joshua questions with confusion.
"I got you now!" Travis yells from behind him but Gabe is too bewildered to make another mad dash. In only seconds the doctor pushes his son away right before the huge man crashes into him, pushing him onto the ground and landing on top of him.
"We got the fake Santa!" A child cries, jumping on top of Travis along with two-dozen others kids crowding around.
"Score!" Maria cheers as she tries to grab Gabe from under the mass of people, the plump man and original Santa Claus joining in the dog pile. The parents of the screaming kids stand off to the side, hands on their knees as they demand their children to return. Alyssa hops on top of all the people, feeling victorious, before noticing Joshua on the side and giving him wave.
"Hey, Joshua!" She greets sweetly and simply.
"H-hey," he mumbles, his eyes glued to the man at the bottom of the pile withering in pain.
Naomi walks up to Lisa, who looks just as shocked as her son, and says softly to her, "Funny how after all these years you wouldn't expect to see him being tackled by a heard of people…in a Macy's no less."
"And in a Santa suit," Lisa adds as they watch Gabe clawing at the ground, struggling to pull himself away from the angry mob on top of him.
Tomoe appears next to them and sighs, "I'm going to have to call the paramedics. I don't think Maria is going to be willing to do anything for him…especially from the way she's dancing on his head."
Underneath a pile of over two dozen people and his sweaty Santa costume clinging to him, still thirsting for a cigarette as Travis' fists assail his body and Maria's mocking words ring in his ears, he can only think of one thing.
He never got a remote.